Guess who's almost four?
October 5, 2006Last weekend, in addition to braving the Swedish Hellscape, we went to Party City to buy birthday crap for Henry. I know! We’re officially suburban. Except we also went there the year before. When you need to buy party paraphernalia for the small and easily impressed, the City of Parties is the swift, efficient, terrible option.
And we bought a pinata. I was opposed—is it not a bad idea to arm the children? And then once they’ve dealt many swift and violent blows, to reward them with a mountain of candy? It seems like a poor message—but Husband insisted, and as in all things, I surrendered. So now we have an empty Darth Vader head waiting in our closet, aching to be filled with sugary delights. Soon we will satisfy the Head, only to watch it get split in twain by crazed preschoolers.
Other than the Head, our plans for “Four! The Party” involve watching chocolate-coated children run shrieking about the room as the adults take cover and worry about the future of our already troubled nation. Also there will be Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Pray for us.
Reader Comments (67)
Fill the Vader Head with those bland basil leaves you're growing.
So, now I'm curious. Do four year olds have the WTF look yet?
We've learned to get the pinatas that have the strings that you pull in order to get them open. Kids take turns pulling one string until someone hits the magic string.
Good luck!
That's when things turned ugly...
They didn't realize they had to actually fill the thing with candy...
That's when things turned ugly...
My advice: Stand clear of the kid with the stick.
We had a pinata at our children's birthday party this year and--it poured rain. So, we hit the pinata in the living room. It was insane, but no one was injured and nothing broke. I opted for a sun (that's obviously why it rained) because it seemed too weird to give children a stick and ask them to hit a creature or person.
Me? I'm looking for the surrendered husband.
Dip The Head in chocolate, and instead of The Crazed Preschoolers bashing it to smithereens, let them lick it to it's ultimate death. Licking is much less violent than beating the bajezuz out of it.
I didn't know about the pinata rule. Damn.
One time I was watching America's Funniest Videos (ahem, there was once a time when i did not have cable) and the host guy deadpanned to the camera: "I can't believe after 20 years of AFV people still have pinatas at parties." Then they let loose a montage of excruciating (and yes, funny) pinata bloopers. So I will pray for you. And your guests.
Oh, and also, I have been to parties in the city with pinatas. The suburbs cannot claim them. Well, it was just one. And, okay, it was a "Sin-ata" stuffed with sex toys and little glassine baggies, but still!
Have them play all the games, etc. and open the pressies and then... just 10 minutes before the parents are due to arrive to take away the kids, and only then... release the cake and candy.
Wired kids, but not your problem.
wiredness of kids = (no. of kids x consumption of sugar and pop) to the power 8
fewer kids = much less total wiredness
If you reinforce the pinata with steel, you can use it to entertain them for the entire 2 hours of the party and won't even have to hire the clown. Even if you arm them right at the beginning, it will still take 2 hours for the kids to get to the treats. They are entertained, you sit back with a nice scotch (Highland Park is my personal recommendation), they don't get the candy till home time.
And I just hosted the triple-crown of playdates -- fingerpainting, playing outside in the dirt, AND green jello!
Good luck to you!