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Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« Quittin' time! | Main | It's raining men! »

Bear with me.

I’m pondering some big questions—like, how do I work on multiple projects that demand twice as many childcare hours than I currently enjoy, continue my blog, raise my son, remain married to my husband, and have enough time to make myself a sandwich? So far the answer seems to be “live concurrently in multiple dimensions.” I’m hoping a better one will come to me soon.

Reader Comments (68)

i hear you. let me know if you come up with a better answer, as i have yet to. [weeps]
September 25, 2006 | Unregistered Commentersweetney
Didn't I read about doing this in "A Wrinkle in Time?"
September 25, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLisa V
I've got lots of guys, so you can check the "Get Henry a birthday present" item off your list.
September 25, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterEva
If you figure out some sort of cloning or time-space-continuum-warping dealio, count me in. Multiplicity, baby!
September 25, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermichelle/weaker vessel
There are 24 hours in the day, which is plenty to get things done. If that doesn't seem enough for some reason, you can cut back on sleep, which will give you an additional 6-8 hours. Plenty of time.
September 25, 2006 | Unregistered Commentertuckova
I'm too busy laughing from the other comments to write a funny one myself. That's the blog taken care of already - if you write a short couple of sentences, the commenters will do the rest. Excellent.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAnja
I'd like to know the answer as well. Hang in there!
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Rani
No one on their death bed ever said they wished they'd spent more time making sandwiches.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSlim
Sandwiches. Overrated.

You could also save time by never making any hot drinks since, a)you boil the kettle, get distracted and have to boil it again (so also saving power) b)it's always cold by the time you get to drink it anyway, and c)there's all that brewing/stirring time you could use for blogging.

oh. or. get the baby to make the sandwiches . . .
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdodo
At least you're not bored. I mean, seriously. Is there anything worse than that? Or HIV? And genocide? But aside from those things, there's practicaly nothing worse. At all. Anywhere. So, you know. You've got that.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterYou can call me 'Sir'
this is off-topic, but i remembered how you and henry loved My Neighbor Totoro, and wanted to share this:

(i made some "totoros" for my kids!)
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commenteramy
Have Henry get a job at Subway! That way his manager can watch him while you work, and when Henry's shift is over, he can bring you any kind of sandwich you like. He's good with those sharp little bread-eviscerating knives, right?

I'm sure your husband will want to stay married to you if your son is bringing home a steady supply of hot meatball subs on squishy white rolls.

Just don't give up the blog. I would miss your funny.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSummer
AH! So it's not just me! I like your multiple dimensions idea. I love scary rides, so I think it could work for me...
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan
Get 3-4 hours of sleep at night. It's the only way I can get it all done.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commentertallulah
My specifics are different, but the yearning after multiple dimensions? I've been struggling with that too. The only answer is to master quantum physics and engineering so we can make it happen. Hang in there, Alice. You're not alone.

September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterwonderer
You say that like it's a bad thing.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMir
This is selfish of me, but despite that whole kid and husband thing, as a reader, I hope you still find time for your blog.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commenteroz
Summer, that is TOO funny! Also, practical.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKaryn
First time to comment. I enjoy your blog, and I sympathize with you!

My situation: fulltime job, four kids, four blogs (two on the blogshelf, though) and a house for sale.

Minimal sleep, multi-tasking and Banquet Crock-Pot Classics get me through.

September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermusing
I think I have two mostly unrelated thoughts about this, maybe three. There are so many people in the same sinking boat…I don’t know, I’m just tired of being fed the message that we can do it all and have fulfilling lives. Something always gives, and it’s usually our own needs. I’m not a mom yet, just some random, opinionated IF patient. I know it’s going to be hard when we do have children (I choose to hope) but I’m trying to be intentional about choosing my priorities now, as I won’t be given the option later. Thought 2b) I know we can’t do it without support – friends, family, and a community that looks after its members. We need to be responsible for each other. We aren’t meant to make our way alone.

Basically, I'm opinionated but don't have a real answer. Is it just supposed to be hard, and that's what makes it worth it in the end? And, knowing it's hard, why do I want it so much anyway?

Second, has anyone else ever noticed the inverse relationship between money and time? No time to do something? Money will solve that (cooking, cleaning, etc.) No money to do something? It’ll take some time (homemade bread, make a costume, grout your own tile.)

September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterWendyP
I'm guessing you didn't really want an answer.

Here's one anyway: You use the one-inch picture frame. You only think about one inch of your life, your day, your goals at a time. If you look at the big picture, you'll freak the f*ck out.

September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdorothy
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterthe patriarch
hmmm... well, you could trade the sandwich for marshmallows and toblerone like me. much quicker just to open a packet.hope hubby likes the new figure... sleep is also optional, but the same concerns apply vis a vis your new appearance.

i find a biannual nervous breakdown essential to my continual survivial. some screaming, crying, throwing of hard things (pref. at hubby, not child) and a day of refusing to get out of bed always makes things seem a little silly in retrospect.

However, in the longer term, I believe POLYGAMY is the answer to our problems. I need a wife.

says the full time law prof, mother of 14 month old who keeps being sick and hence HOME, wife of full time philosophy prof (workaholic, learning Chinese in his spare time), living in a country whose language i can barely speak and bizillions of miles from any relatives that might actually want to help.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterRLJ
Agree with Patriarch. Perhaps you can send Henry to be reared in Bangalore.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLOD
I don't think given our current national crises that you should send Henry overseas. We have plenty of local options and I think you owe it to America to try those first. Have you considered television or wolves? They're both time honored and close to home.
September 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLizRM

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