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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« Setting the record straight. | Main | Brr! »
Tuesday
Nov062007

In which I share my embarrassing moment with you.

Okay, so while I enjoy emailing other people and threatening to take them down, I’m actually terrible at promoting myself in any real way. But many lovely readers have been emailing me and being all WTF, OMG, so here: the Weblog awards. I am just informing you of their existence, and not trying to influence your vote in any way. This attitude is why my worthy adversaries are trouncing me.

But hey, I’m in California now, and we are so laid back here. I’m getting served cappuccino in a bowl each morning. A BOWL. What need have I for public acclaim? When I can dip my head into my caffeine trough?

Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have milk froth on my nose?

Of course I do.

I was thinking I should share my plane-riding adventures with you, but my travels were fairly boring, which is just how I like ‘em. Lately every time I get on a plane it seems to morph into a bucking bronco and I spend the trip praying fervently to St. Keepthisplanealoft, but this time there was barely a bump or a dip. My prayers have been working!

The only moment worth mentioning happened when we had returned to Earth. Everyone was filing out, and when it was my turn to get up from my seat, I attempted to stand and was unable to, as I was still buckled in. It was a pretty spazzy move, and many passengers were standing in the aisle, politely waiting for me to figure out how to stand, so it did not go unnoticed. Sigh. Once one is over 35, one should really be able to release oneself from one’s seat without incident. I tried to make eye contact with my fellow passengers to chuckle at my ineptitude, but everyone was averting their gaze. No reason the mentally challenged can’t travel by themselves, they were thinking. One refresher course on unbuckling, and she’d be good to go.

Reader Comments (25)

I have often wondered if that is not the very reason that so many people unbuckle the very second the plane lands, despite all the friendly warnings (not to mention the stern ones) to remain buckled until the plane has finished taxiing and the fasten seatbelts sign turned off. It is because they know they would forget if they left it to the last minute.

Which of course leaves one wondering if those passengers who would not meet your eye weren't, in fact, patting themselves on the back at that very moment.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnnika
Well, certainly congratulations are due. I'm raising my afternoon cappucino to you in celebration!

Oh, and take it from a frequent flyer....after you leave your hips tied to the seat a couple million-freakin' times? You hit that buckle immediately upon landing. ;-) Bad, bad traveller.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRee
Hope you've been informed by now that California also comes with complimentary foot rubs.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara
I do that quite often. And am just 30.

Either that or I hit my head as I'm standing up because did I not just remember that when I sat in my seat, I needed to duck because it's a low ceiling?
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKristabella
Now this is the kind of election I can get behind. A clear choice, for once.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbraine
Blame it on the Clomid. EVERYTHING. Even the froth.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSummer
I always hit my head. A bowl huh? Sounds like my kind of heaven.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAmy
I got wedged between two seats on a commuter train once when I was pregnant. That was lovely.

So, what's up with being allowed to vote anew every 24 hours (don't answer this -- you didn't make the rules)? Does it work this way with Presidents, too? Because I totally didn't know.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterTammy
Don't feel bad. I just forwarded your story to a friend (and frequent travel companion) of mine with a note that says, "Umm, remind you of me, much?" :) This comment box isn't big enough to regale you in tales of my travel mishaps!
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKaren
Congratulations! Excuse me while I vote.If you were embarrassed over a little seat belt negligence, some of my moments would make you cringe. I shaddup now.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterwitchypoo
Flights. They're rife with humiliating moments.

Here in Seattle we drink our coffee from pitchers. Actually, we stick our heads directly under the espresso spouts and down it. Kind of like a keg stand.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither
If I'd figured it out in time, I would have invited you and Eden to partake in the bachelorette party I threw in SB last weekend. A bunch of usually-appropriate women acting totally inappropriate - I feel you could have fit right in. :)
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterVaguely Urban
i have hit my head on the top of the cabin more than once.maybe the stewardess should warn you of that instead of "please note where the exits are." Which is of course useless information.glad you made it.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterpeonyshade
I've actually only done this in my car, never on a plane. And the sad thing is, I kept trying to get out of the car through the seat belt. I'm not yet over 35, and I'm not taking Clomid, so it must've been my deprivation of a bowl of coffee.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterann
AND you can VOTE EVERY 24 HOURS!!! ahem.
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterjenB
Ah, so you are the reason they tell us on every flight how to use the seat belts! :)
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterfalwyn
St. Keepthisplanealoft. I'll have to remember that; your prayers to him seem to work!
November 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMauigirl
Oh another fellow traveler who prays the silent, fervent prayer to keep the plane in one piece. I don't pray to a Saint, the though actually never occurred to me and I am a practicing Catholic.

Instead, I go right to the source and beg God directly.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercardiogirl
Hilarious! Once on the subway in France I was sitting on a seat that folded down. I got up to grab my ticket that had fallen on the floor and unbeknownst to me, my chair had folded back up. So, when I went to sit down, I sat down hard on the ground, and that is where I stayed, laughing my ass off. They all thought I was a crazy American who belonged on the special bus.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjennifer Kashak
What? You don't do that every time you exit your car???
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAimee Greeblemonkey
Oho, but we all KNOW what you are doing in California! We know about you and Cookie and the secret affair. You can pretend it's all cappucinos keeping you mellow, but it's forbidden love that's doing it. I've seen pictures.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commentersuperblondgirl
I've done that! Not on a plane, but in a van.Hubby had this old p.o.s. Chevy, I was driving it one night after our dog ran away. I pulled into a gas station to post the "lost dog" sign when I saw a husky! Just like mine! in the gas station bays!! I flung open the door & tried to jump out of the seat. I was still buckled in. I just hung there like a sausage in a deli window. Kicking my feet because I could not figure out where the ground was. Why I was not walking over to the bay.As it turned out, that was the owners dog, not mine.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterCatizhere
That's OK. I"m now sitting in my office hours laughing spastically over what my office mates and passersby must think is my lesson plan for class. Alright, maybe not QUITE as spastic as forgetting to unbuckle yourself. Yeah. You win.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJulie
I just discovered this blog, and I'm loving it. It makes me feel smarter and wittier than I actually am, just reading it and the comments. Thanks guys! :-)-- loulou3http://loulou3-loulou3.blogspot.com/
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterloulou3
I knocked my toddler off her seat when I swung my suitcase down from the overhead. No injuries, but I sure looked negligent.Hope you love Southern California.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPretty Lush

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