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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
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Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« On the other hand, I'm extremely well-rested. | Main | In which I share my embarrassing moment with you. »
Wednesday
Nov072007

Setting the record straight.

Eden has been accusing me of wasting our precious work time to make out with her dog Cookie. Let me just say right now: I am not in love with this dog. I mean, she’s fine and all, whatever. Except when she’s on the attack. Yes. Those pictures of me pinned beneath Cookie’s massive bulk? I was lucky to get out alive.

I realize that she is a dog, and thus wants to consume her human overlords, so I don’t hold it against her. Nonetheless: while it is true that she has the softest noggin I have ever snorfled, the emotion I feel toward her, mostly, is wariness. I did not just use the word “snorfle.” Snorfle is not even a word; how could I have used it? I don’t even know what it means.

I may have just chuckled while listening to her snoring on the sectional, but I am not resisting the urge to hurtle across the room and snuggle with her and smooch her adorable mushy face. Ew. Finally, I did not exult in her lovability to my husband on the phone, who, because his mother’s name is Cookie, did not respond, “This is too weird for me.”

Thank you for giving me this opportunity.

Reader Comments (24)

I'd snorfle her too if I even knew what it meant
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbirchsprite
I'd snorfle Alice if I even knew what it meant.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
I like the word snorfle. It is good. And I think my favorite picture is the one where she's accusing you of being in love with Cookie. That one is adorable.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDM
There just is not enough snorfeling going on in the world. If everyone just took a moment...it would be a better place.

Loved your post! And if you don't already have one, you should definitely get a Cookie. She's obviously making your day.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNicki
awwwwwwwww... cookie is so snorfle-able!! :)
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermama's got moxie
I think the term you are looking for is 'Snorgle' and can be found defined in:http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snorgle
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHannah
I think I'm going to snorfle my boyfriend tonight.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHeather R
What secret project are you two talents working on?
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither
Obviously, Cookie is attacking you because Eden has stashed raw meat somewhere on your person. Check your pockets for ground chuck, Alice.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjon deal
I'm just jealous - if I were in California, I would snorfle her cute little face, too. Even if I'm not sure what it means.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commentersuperblondgirl
Well, our dog, Billie, snorfles all the time...we use that word alot because it describes the sound she makes ... a muffled rolling snort while inhaling. My husband tells her "you're snorfling Billie!"
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJO
And Bossy is not laughing at what you didn't do. Lucky thing for everyone.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBOSSY
"Not love Cookie"? Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterUdge
You are SO doomed. When it comes time for the canines to put their nefarious plans into action, if you are anywhere near that suspicious "Cookie" character, you will be the first human overlord to be consumed. Guaranteed.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterneverbeenbarbie
Alice, you're delightful!
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbecks
what a sweetie.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterchristina(peonyshade)
snor-fle [snohr-fuhl]

Definitions:1. Verb: to rub ones face or hands on something soft while while blatantly denying the act2. Noun: the act or sound of snorfling3. Noun: snorfles, a medical condition marked by snorfling
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterann
It's just a matter of time now until snorfle makes it into an official Urban Dictionary entry ;)
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie
Snorfle is a perfect word for what one does when one buries one's face in a dog's head and deeply inhales the wonderful doggy furry smell. Kissing can also be involved.
November 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMauigirl
Ditto what Mauigirl said. But there has to be some form of baby talk involved.
November 8, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJenn C
You know there was tongue don't even front.
November 8, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterStrizz
Snorfle? I'm more of a snorgler myself. A belly and a neck snorgler.
November 8, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterschmutzie
You and that dog are so obviously in love, so don't try to deny!

Anyhow, how could you help it? She's obviously a charmer.
November 9, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle D
Snorfle is exactly the right word for what happens when a human interacts with a Bulldog. You need your own Cookie so that you can snorfle more often.
November 9, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

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