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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
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Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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« Diagnosis: allergy! | Main | Coloring with Henry. »
Thursday
Feb012007

Any color will do, as long as it’s not red.

I am a genius at avoiding doctors and tooting along, afloat on a sea of pain, until such time as the body part in question actually falls off and I have to get it Crazy-Glued back on.

A couple of months ago I mentioned these damned eye troubles, which I had checked out by the local optometrist, who said it was just a little eyestrain. At the time, some of my intelligent, perceptive readers suggested that I should go see an opthamologist. And I told them to shut up. In my head, I told them that.

But here I am, in 2007, and my condition has not spontaneously resolved itself. I pay for any time spent on the computer with watery, bloodshot eyes. My eyes burn as if I have not blinked in months. And yet blinking is one of my favorite pastimes. I look like a stoned basset hound. I am none of those things. Yesterday I foolishly wrote for an hour without taking a break, and later that day, driving Henry home, had to pull over because my eyes were tearing so badly that I couldn’t see. As I have learned, you need to see in order to drive. As the tears shot out of my eyes, soaking my scarf, puddling in my shoes, I thought, hmm, maybe I should see a doctor?

All of which is to say that I’ll be back next week, I hope with some fresh new eyes. Maybe they’ll be hazel!

Reader Comments (34)

Hope you're feeling lots better soon.

I have a love/hate relationship with my eyes. I need them to see, but they suck at helping me do so. I hope your eyes start behaving.
February 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterrachel
Oh for pity's sake, Alice. Go to the doctor and do what you need to. Look after your eyes. Honestly; I love you. I love your blog. But putting your sight in danger is just not on. Nope.
February 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterYoki
But I'm GOING TO THE DOCTOR. Is that not clear? From what I wrote?

I love you, too.
February 4, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteralice
My mom JUST had that same problem like a month ago. She went to the doctor and he said she had dry eyes. He asked her if she felt like she had sand in them sometimes and she said yes, and if they teared up for no apparent reason a lot, and she said yes, and then he prescribed drops and she's all better now.

Except for the fact that she needs drops. Eye ones, not gum ones. Just so you're clear.
February 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterEva
It really does sound like dry eyes -- I had the same kinds of symptoms at my last job, where I stared at a computer screen all day. The doc gave me a few days of antihistamine drops (just in case it was allergies), some lubricating drops, and told me to blink more. And to look away from my screen much more often. So staring out the window suddenly became "doctor's orders." Also, the eye thing went away eventually and I stopped needing the drops. I hope yours does, too.
February 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterShoppista
Hi, my name's Jake and I have dry eyes.

Hi, Jake!

Welcome to the club. Now go stock up on Systane® lubricant eye drops. Get the preservative-free vials and you'll have moist eyes and the profound sympathy of everyone who thinks the little plastic vials you're suddenly carrying around are an indication of some life-threatening disorder.

And BTW, it's spelled opHthaLmologist. The H is for Hooters and the L is for Lesbian! (I think.)
February 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJake
No, Jake, NO. I'm in denial. I'm young and moist and it's just allergies I bet! Betcha! Also it's spelled upthemallagist.



February 5, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteralice
I used to work for an ophthalmologist. Dry eye syndrome is very common. It tends to get worse in the winter due to the drying effect of indoor heating.

There are a lot of great OTC products (like Systane, which someone else mentioned) and prescriptions if needed. One of the better new treatments is Restasis (you put one drop in each eye twice a day), which works great for a lot of people, but unfortunately it's like $100 for a month's supplies. Just for eye drops! It's crazy. Make sure you get lots of samples of whatever they want you to use, so you can try it first.

OK, good luck. :)
February 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa
I had horrendously watery and bloodshot eyes after living in "the big smoke" a.k.a. Toronto, Ontario for a couple of years. Started to clear up when I moved to a less-smoggy area. Allergies you say? Hello!

But my eyes never got completely white after that and after getting tired of looking like a strung-out cokehead without the rush, I took a long break from my contacts which made a huge difference. Once I was back to normal, I started wearing day & nights (monthly wear) and the redness/dryness is less than once a month and clears quickly.

Good luck with whatever The UpYourMollogist says.
February 8, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMyra

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