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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
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Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« From Alice's physician | Main | Down the rabbit hole »

Pusher man.

Henry got in trouble yesterday for pushing. I've never known him to be a pusher, but hell, no one's perfect. The teacher took me aside after school. It's not a teacher I know well (they have a few teachers and they sort of rotate, or something, I'll never make sense of the system at work in this place) but I recognized that pinched expression, and I thought, crap.

"Henry was being… not very nice," she said. Which I thought was a less than productive way to express her displeasure, don't you? "He was pushing."

"Oh?" I said, and gave her a little shove. Ha ha!

"Oh?" I said, and kept my hands to myself.

"Then," she added, "when he asked him to apologize, he refused, and when we told him that [INSERT KID'S NAME HERE]'s feelings were hurt, he said, 'That's fine.'" She shook her head. "He said, 'I don't even care about him.'"

She seemed shocked by this. Had she never met a five-year-old before? Do all the other children immediately and sincerely express regret for hurting another's feelings? Do none of them attempt to save face by claiming not to care? Do I have the only full-of-crap preschooler in the universe?

I assured her that I would talk with him, but I didn't have to, because Henry gave me an EARFUL. WELL. That other kid was not following the rules, he was supposed to clean up the blocks when block time was over and he did not clean up the blocks when block time was over and those are the rules, and he wouldn't listen, and Henry was going to get in trouble for not cleaning up the blocks but it wasn't fair because everyone has to follow the rules.

In other words, he had a bad day. I tried to talk to him about pushing but lord, he knows he's not supposed to and he didn't want to talk about it and he kicked at trees the whole way home and called everyone in the universe stupid (sorry, even you). Should I have lectured him until he wept? Being a kid sucks sometimes. I opted to give him a break. I expect he'll stop pushing by the time he's in college.

P.S.: a new Wonderland post is up.

Reader Comments (78)

Good Lord. I mean seriously. Are people REALLY taking this post at face value and actually JUDGEING Alice??? I mean... really??? Do you people READ this blog???

I write my blog for humor. It's based on my life, but it is either A) exaggerated or B) missing huge details in an attempt to be funny. In one entry, I refer to my childs teacher as a "Kinder Bitch". Why? Because she made us clean chicken bones. I do not, in any way shape or form, think that my sons teacher is now or has ever been a kinder-bitch. In fact, she is one of the best teachers I have ever met.

Anyone who took that seriously would have been reality challenged. And anyone who thinks that Henry is going to grow up a pathological criminal because he had a bad day and his mother didn't counsel him on the horrors of pushing is also reality challenged and may want to develop a life outside of reading and judgeing peoples BLOGS.

Get a grip. Please.
January 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFrankie
You have yourself a good break, Alice. This got blown out of proportion and you got creepy internet vibes on you. People feel so free, so free on the internet to toss metaphorical eggs.

It's ironic, I find, that the commenters who are the most judgemental seem to miss the fact that Alice is a stranger to them, and that social graces still apply here on the web. I can't imagine any of us would appreciate it if some stranger rolled up to us with some handy critiques out in the actual world. We'd be like, AND YOU ARE?!

Just because Alice kindly shares her life with us on her blog, and just because she can't see us, doesn't give us the right to pick her life apart. Pretend this blog is a play and you're in the audience. At the end of the post, you can either show your appreciation if you like, or just head for the door. No one goes to a play and then calls out "Hey, you! Polonius! You didn't enunciate!" during the curtain calls. You can do that quietly over coffee with your friends afterwards. I think this is a good rule of thumb for reading someone's personal blog. It isn't a political blog. This is just someone sharing her life. Readers are entitled to their own opinions of whatever she posts, but dude, just tell it to your diary or your best girl.

Is what I think.
January 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTina
Thanks, everyone. I'm going to close comments here, too. Be back in a bit, promise.
January 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralice

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