Back to work!

First of all, I am featured in the March issue of Good Housekeeping, so if you're coming from there, hello, and welcome! Here is the unedited version of the post featured in the magazine. It is longer, more rambling, and employs some of your milder curse words.

In case you're thinking of it, dear readers, I want to assure you that you don't need to send me hate mail. I already received one this morning, and it was a doozy. She covered all the (insane) bases. (The insane bases, in case you're wondering, are 1) first 2) triangle, 3) Sokar, Egyptian Lord of the Mysterious Region, and 4) ham sandwich. Never play baseball with a crazy person. This is my Public Service Announcement for the day.) So I'm good! Thanks, though.

In other news, I have a Wonderland post up today. On circumcision! Apparently I am courting controversy these days. Next week I will write about puppies and rainbows. And how they both should be outlawed.

Comments

[birchsprite]

Whoo Hooo for Good Housekeeping and Bah Humbugs for Trolls!

[jules]

How exciting! Such good news. The Good Housekeeping thing, not the trolls. :)JulesHouse of Jules

[Ariel]

Yeah! for Good Housekeeping and BOO to the trolls. Leave my Alice alone, bitches!

[mostcurious]

Can we send you love mail?

[mostcurious]

Even if we are crazy? I promise not to play baseball.

[caramama]

Well, I'll just have to go out and by March's Good Housekeeping in support of your excellence!

Lame trolls. Although I am a bit intrigued by insane base 3...

Heading over to Wonderland now! (BTW, I get so excited every Friday when I remember that there will be a new post on Wonderland! Controversy or no, I love your take on the issues!)

[Barb]

So we're to save the hatemail for next week?

Congrats on the Good Housekeeping article! You've got a great blog!

[alice]

Exactly, Barb! Space it out a bit.

[SuburbanCorrespondent]

I do wish you'd share some of the hate mail with us - it must be very interesting. And nothing like making a joke out of it to take away the sting...

[Bipolarlawyercook]

I play crazy kickball. The lithium makes my hands shake too much for baseball. But I will never never never send you hate mail. Weird comments and a little too much love? Yes. Hatemail? Never.

[Nicole]

God, I wish I knew something about baseball so that I could make a clever quip about hitting a ham sandwich.

[Dory]

Please say you'll post the hate mail from whackjob so we can rip it to teeny tiny minuscule bits.

[Busy Mom]

Yeah, when I was in high school, all the boys wanted to slide into ham sandwich, but, the girls had it ZipLoc-ed.

[Melissa]

Crazy woman best stay outta my lunch bag...

On second thought, let her step on my sandwich. Then I'll have two reasons to take her out. ;)

[Kiki in M'waukee]

as usual, i can hardly stand to type because i need to use my hands to massage the cramps in my face from laughing so hard. ow. ow. i found finslippy just 2 weeks ago and have been lurking and laughing semi-regularly since. i recommend it daily to friends (some with kids. some without--and now they'll never have them ;P)

what kind of glove(s) does one wear to play crazy baseball?

[Sarcasta-Mom]

That post was great, and congrats on having it in Good Housekeeping! And hey, without crazies, who else would we have to poke fun at over a nice sane tuna sandwich?

[Ishkadebble]

Grrr..... mean bitchy people..... grrrr

I so enjoy what you write! Thank you thank you thank you. And what a great discussion happening over in Wonderland. To cut or not to cut?

Probably just as well you *don't* publish the nastygrams you receive...your many devotees might feel compelled to try out trollish tactics in your defense!

Somehow the "Oh my, you are horrible and will burn in hell and are an evil influence upon the world because your belief system does not coincide exactly with mine!!!" doesn't seem a very compelling excuse to be hateful. Or self righteous. But, obviously I suck and will burn in hell too cause I just want to deliver a round of stinging bitch slaps to those cowardly vile shit's who can't resist being hateful and judgemental, instead of engaging in dialogue and asking questions.

[Little Bird]

I don't understand something. Why are people sending you hate mail?? I mean, it's fairly obvious that you are fantastic and wonderfull. I don't get it. And please, tell us more about base 3.

[stuffed owl]

Alice, you HAVE to post the hate mail. We must see this insanity in all its 4-pointed glory.

Also I hear you are a singer. Now you must die. Ha, ha! You are not allowed to be great at MY THING TOO. Stay great at YOUR OWN THING.

Maybe that itself was hateful. If so you brought it on yourself with your mad karaoke skillz. Did you think we wouldn't find out???

[Karen C.]

I'm a frequent lurker of your blog, so imagine my surprise when I opened my Good Housekeeping and saw you in there!! Soooooo cool! So I had to temporarily de-lurk to say congrats, and that I love your blog. Yay you!!

[beth]

Wow, first Patrick Dempsey and now you. Good Housekeeping is getting much cooler in my eyes!

[Mauigirl]

Wow, Good Housekeeping! Now I must run out and buy the March issue! Congratulations! Now I'll hie myself over to Wonderland. (Is that how you spell "hie"? Isn't that some kind of Shapespeare thing?)

[Barbara]

I first looked for you in Marital Sex 101 (I had one hand over my eyes in case you shared too much) and then I looked for you better animal health thing (again with the hand over eyes) and then I squinted through 30 Ways to Lose 5 lbs. (Is there anything GH CAN'T help me with?!) and then I was exhausted.

And you can always tell when someone is unhinged by the way they talk about ham. Sane people push bacon.

[Katherine]

Want to hit the motherlode of all motherlodes of craziness? Google Masons. If there's a conspiracy theory that anyone, anywhere has thought of for one second in the last two thousand years, it's connected in some way to the Masons.

[Jocelyn]

Dear Woman I Don't Actually Know: So I've just stumbled here for the first time, read about your last ten posts, and now feel that I have a new crush.

You.