Irreverent. Curious. Vaginas.
July 27, 2009Our good friend David Farley recently held a launch party for his book An Irreverent Curiosity. The book is about Farley's adventures in and around Calcata, Italy, a bizarre village famous for once housing a holy relic: the foreskin of Jesus. In the mid-80s, the Holy Foreskin mysteriously disappeared. Farley spent a year in Italy searching for the story behind its disappearance. (It's an amazing book, by the way. It tore me away from Infinite Jest, which is not easy to do these days.)
Anyway. Back to the party! Farley and his wife Jessie—who, incidentally, was my friend way before Farley entered the scene—are friendly with Paulina Porizkova, the supermodel/writer/lovely human being, and she was also at the party. If you've been reading Finslippy for any length of time, you might remember my mentioning that Paulina's mom had been one of my midwives and had, in fact, delivered Henry. The last time I met Paulina, a few years ago, I shared this information with her. Then I got tongue-tied and couldn't think of anything else to talk about, so I backed away, waving and apologizing.
This time I felt a little more confident. Maybe it was all the wine? Hard to say. I suggested to Scott that we talk to her, and he turned this beautiful shade of lavender-gray. I couldn’t hear what he was saying but his mouth was moving frantically. I leaned in. He seemed to be pleading with me not to make him go over there.
"Aw," I said. "You're adorable! Let's go—I'll ask her if I can get her picture with you."
"No no no no," he whisper-shrieked. So cute!
"Oh, come now. At least we can say hello! Remember, her mom was my midwife. It's like we're related."
"I am not talking to Paulina. I had her poster on my bedroom wall. I… no. I will not talk to her."
But we were pushed inexorably forward by the party-tide, and soon we were abutting her circle. Then Paulina turned to us. And said hello.
Before I knew what I was doing I was reminding her that her mother had delivered my son Henry, and then I was showing her my iPhone pictures of Henry, and she was appreciating the pictures in a way that someone who has kids knows they're supposed to do. Scott was smiling and smiling some more. Also waving. But at least not apologizing, which I thought was a step forward for us as a couple. We're learning to socialize! It's never too late, kids!
I decided I was going to regale her with our favorite midwife story, which was when Scott accompanied me to a visit and I complained of yeast infections and Paulina's mom directed me never to wash my vagina with soap. (It was funny at the time.) (You had to be there.) As I was talking I realized that in order to communicate the hilarity of this story, which was not all that funny in the retelling of it, I had to 1) impersonate Paulina's mother, and 2) use the word "vagina" an awful lot. And then I became increasingly self-conscious at how much I was saying "vagina" and how the Czech/Swedish/Vampire accent I was affecting sounded a lot like I was just imitating Paulina, and not in a flattering way. I was horrified for me. Paulina looked concerned, but to her credit, she was not scanning the room for possible exits. I don't think Scott noticed what was happening, because while I yammered on he was sketching Paulina on a napkin.
To my credit, I ended the story quickly and also kept myself from telling Paulina how many stitches her mom had put in my hoo-ha. (That's polite code for "vagina.") Actually I never would have done that, because I don't really know. Maybe Paulina knew? Damn it, I should have asked her.
Miraculously, our new best friend managed to steer the conversation over to a more socially acceptable subject, for which I will be forever grateful. For the next twenty minutes or so we talked about our favorite books. The specific question she asked, which I think is kind of brilliant as a party conversation-topic-when-the-other-people-are-definitely-insane, is a three-parter. 1)What's the book you wish you had written? 2) What book do you read when you want something comforting and familiar? And 3) What book do you think everyone should read?
In response, Scott squeaked something about Noam Chomsky, and then he pulled his shirt over his head and flailed his arms about, shouting, "I'm a headless robot!" Or was that something Henry did this morning? At any rate, Noam Chomsky was mentioned. My responses were 1) To the Lighthouse, because I wanted to impress Paulina, 2) Anything by Laurie Colwin, because it's the truth, and 3) The Master and Margarita, because I wanted to impress Paulina. I'm going to have to think about what my real answers to 1 and 3 would be. The impressing-Paulina choices weren't far off, I think. I'm just glad I didn't say "The Big Book of Vaginas!" or "O, Vagina" or something equally off-kilter.
So. What would your books be?
Reader Comments (107)
Comforted by: Feast of Love by Charles Baxter
Everyone should read: The Corner of the Veil by Laurence Cosse
2. The Brothers K - I've read it 8 times and it's the only book I ever finished and started reading again immediately.
3. This is so hard because there are so many books that I think everyone should read I can't pick just one, but if I must...right now in this minute I'm going to say...Traveling Mercies by Anne LaMotte (which could also be my #2 answer)
2. Any Jane Austen novel. I reread them over and over and over again. They are so comforting to me.
3. To Kill A Mocking Bird. I first read it when I was just a kid and it is still my favorite book.
ties are allowed under my house rules that I just made up :)
and I love Sarah's "first - and only - book I read" ... hahahaha
maggie may
2) Catcher In the Rye. My comfort reading since I was 12. I can't wait to share it with my son.
3) The Odyssey and anything by Shakespeare. I feel that both have helped me to get more out of many other books that I've read.
Now I think I probably sounded like I was trying to impress a supermodel. Dagnabit.
And I'm doing this all out of order! And wordily! Crikey.
Anyway, I wish I had written The Blind Assassin. To the point that I cried with shame, when I read it, that I would never be Margaret Atwood.
And I recently read For Whom the Bell Tolls for comfort. (I know. I'm a masochist. WTF? But I needed to remind myself that people have always thought the whole world was ending, and it never really does. We just end in it.)
2. _A Wrinkle in Time_ by Madeleine L'Engle and _The Sun Also Rises_ by Hemingway.
3. This is a weird one since it's not fiction but I'm going to say _In Defense of Food_ by Michael Pollen. It will change how you think about feeding your body.
Wish I'd written-Who Will Run the Frog Hospital? by Lorrie Moore- a coming of age book written crisply and clearly
Everyone should read-When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris-the MAN IS BRILLIANT-laughed so loudly my husband kept giving me looks.
OK then:
1. I wish I'd written Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping2. I go back to Alcott's Little Women for comfort3. Everyone should read the gorgeous, heartbreaking, hilarious Lolita
1. I wish I had written The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. That book really spoke to me.
2. For comfort: The Miss Read British cozies. Lovely, lovely stories. Both the Fairacre and Thrush Green books are well worth your time.
3. What everyone should read: This is the hardest for me to pick but I'm going with Plainsong by Kent Haruf. Really speaks to me.
And Haruf seems like a regular guy who values regular people. Great story.
1. March, Geraldine Brooks2. The Marcus Didius Falco series, Lindsey Davis3. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
Wow, very hard to choose one!
1. Mating -- Norman Rush2. No matter how many times I try to reduce my book collection, when I see my Laurie Colwin books from the 80's & 90's I just smile and leave them on the shelf where they belong.3. Paula -- Isabel Allende