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Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« A few words about fear | Main | Here's to you, Mrs. Kennedy »

Allow me to bask in my occasional greatness.

This occurred yesterday morning. I am paraphrasing somewhat.

Henry: I am being inexplicably grouchy about this tiny thing I have to do when I first get to school. Therefore I will refuse to go to school today. I am now saying that school is horrible, as is life, and you.

Scott: I am upset because you have to get to school! I am saying stuff!

Me: I remain calm and analytical. Are you actually just worried about the aforementioned tiny thing? Is this small glitch in your routine throwing everything off?

Henry: Huh. I am now realizing how right you are. But nothing will solve my worry, so I remain hopeless.

Me: I am coming up with ideas. For instance, I could write a note to your teacher explaining the tiny thing. Will that make everything better?

Henry: Let me think. Yes. It makes everything ONE HUNDRED PERCENT better.

Me: I have solved everything!

Henry: You have! I am now happy, and no longer hate life, OR you.

Scott: Your mother is the best mother ever. I am shamed.

Me: I will concede that you occasionally have your moments of excellence, but this was mine. All mine.

Henry: Allow me to gaze at you in adoration.

Me: I will allow it.

Both Scott and Henry stare in wonderment as I begin to radiate a slight but distinct maternal glow. Roll credits.

Reader Comments (49)

And here would be one of those "great mommy" moments the counterbalance all the "bad mommy" moments!
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendyPinNJ
Let me try that again:

And here would be one of those "great mommy" moments THAT counterbalance all the "bad mommy" moments!

Ain't it grand how the universe works!
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendyPinNJ
It is important to let others know about the moments that have not irreparably scarred our children.

Also, save this, frame it and hang it in Henry's room when he turns 14. He'll need the reminder.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiobhan
I love documentaries!
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarinka
Woah, Alice.

I mean, I knew you were wise....but this?

This is wisdom for which there are no words.

I bow to you.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSummer
did you levitate? even a little?
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpb
you are my hero
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea A
The glow of your wisdom and maternal omnipotence is emanating from my computer screen!
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. D
Wait, so where was the paraphrase?
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin @ Fierce Beagle
We should all remember to bask in our moments of rational thought and action because we sure as hell tend to wallow in the low times. Go Alice! The beauty of motherhood award goes to you today.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin
Did I just fall in love with you? Yes, I think I did.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline
heh, heh, heh... I wanna know what the note to the teacher said. I'm probably going to need to write one of those soon.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristy
You are Awesome! Allow me to bow to your greatness. Can I get some of your creativity and problem-solving prowess over here to help with my three-year-old?
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen
bask away! those moments when one figures out exactly the right thing to do in the exact right moment irt parenting must be savored!
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwendy
Sadly, Jen, I think I expended all my greatness on that one incident. Now I'm back to resorting to screaming and threats. 
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Bradley
Is it weird that when I read that, you all had sort of robotic voices and stuff? What's up with THAT??
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustLinda
It's the calm and analytical I like. It's so hard to find those sometimes.

I often go for screamy and irrational.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon M.
Gotta love the doesn't show its face very often!!
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTanya
The Hero. She is.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandra
Wow, I've heard about those kinds of parenting moments. One day, Susan, one day...
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan
One of your best posts in recent memory.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureena
Two thumbs up and a box of kleenex.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBOSSY
Awesome!! :)
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterM
You will be sainted, no doubt. :o)
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercartoongoddess
hehehe. You are awesome.You make me laugh.
January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

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