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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« While I'm hiding under this pile of blankets... | Main | Glargh »

Is "hidden room" something you can find in rental listings?

Me: So did you want to talk about what happened here last night?

Henry: About that man who cursed you?

Me; Well, cursed AT me, but...yeah.

Henry: No.

Me: Okay! But I wanted you to know that everything is being taken care of.

Henry: He's gone forever?

Me: Well, no. But we are going to move, soon.

Henry: Tomorrow?

Me: We have to pack first. And find a place. It'll take a while.

Henry: Great! Because I really want a room that has a hidden door to another room.

Me: ...

Henry: You know, a bookcase, and you pull out a book and the bookcase is a door and then you have *another* room behind the door bookcase. I want that. Can we get that?

Me: Probably not going to happen.

Henry: Someday I really want a hidden room. Do you want a hidden room?

Me: More than you know. Right now, though, I just want us to live someplace we can feel comfortable.

Henry: And where no one curses you.

Me: Exactly.

Reader Comments (94)

How about giving him a loft? He can call it a fort and it can be his private, hidden space. It's not quite a hidden room, but it's definitely more attainable.
March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreen
I am so surprised at how many of your readers have hidden rooms! I am so jealous!

Moving is never fun. Violence less so. (The last place I lived in LA, we were woken up one night by two guys outside chasing after another guy and throwing a hammer at him. A HAMMER.) At least you'll have an opportunity to look for some things in a new place that you may have wished you had in the old one.
March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiza
I think we all want to live where people don't curse at us. Sheesh!
Oh and have a secret room! :-)
If you got a place with a big enough room for Henry, you could build him a secret room by getting a really wide bookshelf and putting it at an angle in the corner of the room, so the corner space was behind it. Then you could cut a little door in the bottom shelf and he could put books in front of it so you couldn't see it unless you took the books out. It wouldn't be a lot of space, depending on how wide the bookshelf was, but it would be enough space to hide and maybe stash a few things.

Also, I'm sorry your apartment is violent. I lived above a domestic abuse situation for a few years, it's no fun. Good luck!
March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison
So weird, my husband just brought home a real estate flyer from LA--the kind with multimillion dollar houses, so it's obviously just to look at for fun. Anyway, I saw a house listed that actually has a secret room. (Described as a "secret room/office.")

Sorry for your neighbor troubles. Lucky for you it's a renter's market in the BK these days ...
March 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjunewell
High-fiving Dave for "Put… the candle… back." ~8D

Now THAT was a serious secret room.
March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJan
nearly everyone i know wants access to one of those secret doors. I blame the shortcut from the conservatory to the lounge in the boardgame "Clue."
March 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercadiz12
who doesn't want a home with a hidden room? maybe you can just get a murphy bed instead.
March 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOG
glad to know I'm not the only one obsessed with hidden rooms and secret passageways
March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauxa
Um, yeah. Hidden Room Houses are *always* listed with rooms that have those mirrors that are actually portals into another dimension (ADPM= Another Dimension Portal Mirror).

So weird that this isn't common knowledge...

March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShauna (Fido & Wino)
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Had the same type experience with the first house we bought while in grad school (1 BR/questionable neighborhood, you get the picture) We actually had to move out of it because of some very scary interactions with the neighbors. I was angry that I had to move through no fault of my own, but would rather do that than feel unsafe. We didn't have kids at the time so I can only imagine what you are going through. Best of luck in your search for a new home with a special room.
March 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermom, interrupted
I'm just still freaking out about the conditions in your building. Be safe.
March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie @ The Mom Slant
I'd love a hidden room.

Then I could read in peace. If I try to read around my kids they take my book from me.

Remind me to take their books from them when they're older to see how THEY like it.
March 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber
I live to serve: (...everything except drinks, which I live to be served). Cheers!
March 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoey
Look for a place with a very large wardrobe.
April 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermotheroad
I have a friend who lives in a house with a hidden room. It has been the source of many good April Fools day jokes.
April 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJack
Oh, this is awful - I'd hate not feeling safe where my children and I sleep. Any luck finding a new place??

Mwahs from Poland...
April 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWarsawMommy
When I was a child, we lived in a house with a HIDDEN STAIRCASE, I kid you not. It was one of the best things that EVER HAPPENED. To ANYONE.
April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSwistle
That is the New York City real estate dream, isn't it? I mean that literally -- I think everybody who has lived in NYC has had a dream in which they magically found a new, hidden room in their own apartment. Your kid is just way ahead of the curve!
April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTara
Here's to dwelling blessings.
April 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramanda
I hope your neighbors haven't killed you.

Also, is the real reason you are looking for a new place to live because you don't want to redecorate your living room?
April 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara
Dude, it's making me nervous that you haven't posted since this. Last night I had a dream that you needed saving, and I've never even met you. Jeepers. Good vibes, and whatnot.
April 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Dear Alice,

I think apartmenttherapy has been reading your blog! Look at this:

Love,Lisa, a very big fan of yours who thinks you are awesome and very funny and insightful and is not afraid to suck up to you about it
April 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa
Have no clue if you're even still reading these comments - but if you are - I just found this article all about hidden rooms. Apartment Therapy
April 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

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