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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« Everything I learned about writing, I learned in 10th grade French class. | Main | Another in a long string of conversations I never thought I'd have. »
Wednesday
May302007

38 is the new 37.

So I turned 38 on Monday, which was also Memorial Day, so I got to pretend that everyone had the day off because of me. The parades? All about me. Take that, honored war dead!

Generally I enjoy my birthday (except for the year that Phil Hartmann was murdered--thanks for ruining my birthday, guys), but this year ranked among the best birthdays so far.

I started my day with a lesson in anatomy.

Birthday present from Henry.

It seems that I am not much more than a bag of gastric juices, which explains much. And I am filled with bubbles, which clears up some things as well. I also have a fairly undersized brain. Or an oversized head. At any rate, it was educational.Thank you, Henry!

(Some of) the adults

We had a Memorial Day barbecue, which meant that Scott got to spend the day frantically grilling. I'm sure he loved it, although I couldn't ask him because he was too busy cursing under his breath.

Rushing to the grill.

Only some people knew that it was also a day to celebrate ME ME ME and everything I stand for. Then the cake came out and those people had to admit that they didn't know it was my birthday, and I stared at them in shock before bursting into tears and throwing my cake on the lawn. Wheee!

Because I was busy sucking down sangria and traumatizing acquaintances, I didn't take many pictures.

Here are some children wreaking havoc on my new birdbath. Damn kids!

Children love mud, and moms love...not this.

My other present was that for the first time in MONTHS, our dog didn't tear ass out of the yard the first chance he got. Charlie's been hell-bent on escaping ever since the temperature rose above 40. Mind you, we're all fenced in, but Charlie can flatten himself and squeeze through fist-sized holes, because he is actually a rat. Did I mention that we found him in a gutter in Tijuana? I knew that was a mistake.

Anyway, if you grill enough meats, your dog will stay put. And then pass out.

Charlie, filled with meats.

While the dog snoozed, the kids ran around in circles, crammed full of juice and hot dogs, spraying each other with the hose. By some birthday/Memorial Day miracle, they all lived to enjoy the birthday cake.

Some kind of performance art is going on.

I know I've griped about suburbia, but I must say, in the past few months I have been happier than ever to live here. There's space, and birds, and neighbors who jump the fence to come hang out with you. This is a good place to be.

Reader Comments (60)

With fences those jumpable, I'm surprised you can keep the neighbors out!

Happy Birthday.
May 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMonkey loves Kitten
Happy Birthday! I'm so happy you're happy!HAPPY!
May 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSandee
I love the picture Henry drew. You may be full of gastric juices, but at least your happy about it - he gave you a nice smile.

Happy Birthday! It sounds like you had a lovely one.
May 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie
I love the picture Henry drew. You may be full of gastric juices, but at least you're happy about it - he gave you a nice smile.

Happy Birthday! It sounds like you had a lovely one.
May 30, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie
Dagnabbit. My comment with the typo posted. Nuts. I'm going to bed.
Happy birthday mrs. alice finslippy.
May 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjess
Happy Birthday!
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered Commentererika
I de-lurk to say happy belated birthday from yet another May 28 baby! While I used to hate having my birthday fall on the holiday as a kid (who wants to take the treats a day late?), it rocks as an adult. And, I am also a former urbanite (Chicago) now living in the Boston 'burbs. I grumble about suburban living, but having birthday gin and tonics with your cool neighbors in your leafy backyard does have its upside.
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMagpie
Happy birthday! I was eating crabs in Maryland on Monday... had I known, I would have raised one of the claws in toast to you. (And you have one up on me, I turned 37 on the 27th of April).
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteraimee/greeblemonkey
Happy Birthday! It sounds like you had a lot of fun. I hope this coming year follows in the same theme!
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKait
Happy birthday! Glad you're settling into the suburbs - birds and dirt and nice neighbors help.
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermagpie
Sarah,It was a Memorial Day joke. I'll try harder next time. Note to self: be less creepy.
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPete Dunn
Happy Birthday, Alice. I was thinking about all the angst you displayed in your newly-moved posts as I was looking at your Mem-day pictures. That stinkin' suburbia has a way of getting to you, doesn't it?
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMatt
Oh my heart is full of joy for you! Happy Belated Birthday! What a wonderful way to celebrate your birthday. And how smart to throw the cake on the lawn and let the kids fend for themselves; no clean up!! Brilliant!
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAmy
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Biiirthday dear Alice, Happy Birthday to you!
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I can't believe I didn't even know.

Did you really find him in a gutter in TJ? My friends have a dog they did find in a gutter in Chiapas so that is why I'm asking this ridiculous question.
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterozma
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I can't believe I didn't even know.

Did you really find him in a gutter in TJ? My friends have a dog they did find in a gutter in Chiapas so that is why I'm asking this ridiculous question.
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterozma
You know, I always thought fallen soldiers were a lame reason to take a day off of work. Your birth, though, that's worth at least the week. How do we go about making that happen, stat?
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMatthew M. F. Miller
Your heart seems to be a shapeless purple lump. This is probably good. I have found that mine, which is the color of charcoal and shaped like a daddy longlegs, seems to lack some of the basic functionality available it the more colorful models.
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterThomas
Oh, come on, Alice. Are we not just fleshy cages that house gastric juices and bubbles? Okay - so I completely slaughtered Plato, but I think Henry is a very bright boy! Quite the ingenious diagram for a 4-year-old!
May 31, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJessica
Hey LOL that kid can almost spell my name LOL.

But seriously. Happy birthday.

June 1, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbraine
Happy belated birthday!

I love the quality of your pictures!!! What camera do you use?!
June 1, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDidi
Thanks, Didi! It's a Canon PowerShot Pro1.

June 1, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteralice
Happy belated birthday. I spent the day scrapbooking but thought of you, of course. Thank you for remembering my beloved Phil Hartmann. If only he would have married me, we'd still be enjoying his special brand of hilarity immensely.
June 1, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDM
"Happy (belated) Birrrrfffffday, to you!!!"

Dawson is excited. I told him to sing because "it's Alice's Birthday!!"

He did. Then he said, "Mumma, who dis Alice?"
June 1, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdana

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