A brief account of the festivities.

The piñata was one of those pull-the-string dealies, after all. I had no idea. When I bought it I assumed all those ribbons at the bottom were a festive touch. Then I saw the words “PULL-THE-STRING PINATA,” and after a few minutes of sounding it out I figured out what was up. It’s amazing I can get through the day without setting myself on fire.

The actual pulling open of the piñata was anticlimactic. The children quickly lost patience with the idea of taking turns with one ribbon each, so after one round of that we gave up and Henry yanked all of them. At this a small door opened at the bottom and exactly nothing fell out. I had to reach in and fish out the candy and toys. Piece by piece they thunked to the floor. Most of the kids were around Henry’s age or younger, and were impressed with the goings-on but didn’t fully grok that they could take more than one item. They each picked up one sticker or fun-sized candy and ambled away, asking their parents if they could really keep it. Henry grabbed a lollipop and was pleased. The lone six-year-old, the most senior party attendee and apparently a seasoned pro at the piñata, was down there grabbing everything, unable to believe her good fortune. The preschoolers sat back and admired her technique.

After the day was over, we sat down and realized there had been no tears, no bloodshed, no missing limbs. My newly minted four-year-old managed nearly ten hours of festivities (there were two parties in one day: the morning one with the kids, then the evening appearance of the grandparents and aunts and uncles) with style and grace. He greeted his guests with enthusiasm, said “thank you” to each gift, and invited his friends to share his loot. At one point he got a Woody doll and spent the night observing, “I used to have a tiny Woody but now I have a really big Woody!” We all tried not to snicker, and failed. We tried to resist the urge to get him to say it again, and failed at that too.

So in other words, all the misbehavior came from the adults.

Comments

[Nicole]

Re: "really big Woody"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Jonathon]

There is no way I'd be able to resist cracking "Woody" jokes all night.

Glad to hear the parties went off without a hitch!

[jes]

Oh, Gah. Henry's already at the age where he's making comments about the size of his Woody? I hope you got it on camera.

[bernalgirl]

Truly one of the best birthday posts ever...

[DM]

My nephew's birthday party was this weekend. Unfortunately he received fire trucks and therefore was no way for Auntie Dana to chuckle inappropriately. Instead Auntie Dana got freaked out by the hoard of children that descended when it was time to open the presents, pushing my nephew out of the way and ripping at the presents. I figure it's my sister's way of ensuring I never want to have children. Bless her.

Henry's party sounds like fun.

[RLJ]

Hey, I'll call you when it's time for my LOs party. That is, when he is old enough to complain, in complete sentences, when I tell him I won't hold one.

I was at one year old birthday party bliss on Saturday. The mother sent us all a songsheet in advance. In Icelandic and German. (I hid in the kitchen and scoffed slices of all 3 birthday cakes.)

[Ani]

Methinks someone put Prozac in the punch. I think I'll borrow that idea come April and July.

Happy Birthday big kid Henry. May you always have big Woodys.

yeah, I can't help snickering either

[cristin]

grok

again, love you and your writing

[Jenn]

hilarious!

[Leslie]

Very funny.

[kelly]

most excellent tale telling, and again, happy, happy birthday to the little man! and his big Woody. May it live long.

ahem.

[clickmom]

Wow, Henry, how do I explain to my 9 and 13 year old kids why I am snickering in front of the computer again?

[meno]

No one but a saint could have resisited making Henry repeat the Woody line. And i don't think you are one of those. Thanks for the giggle.

[ksgirl]

my mom used to make me go to my younger cousins' parties. we're cuban and we always had the pinatas with the ribbons (for like 20 yrs i had no idea there was any other kind). so all the kids would stand under it and hold a ribbon and on the count of 3 they would all pull at the same time with all their might (and parental help)and the bottom would fall out and candy and goodies would come out.except that by age 10, too old to attend these things, i was the seasoned pro. and since my mom always made me wear a party dress, i used it to my advantage. by the count of 2, i let go of my ribbon and dropped to the floor. while the other kids moved slowly, i was alreday on the ground and pulling armloads of candy and toys under my dress skirt. (very safe hiding place.) maybe it was mean, but it was also mean of mom to make me go AND participate. so i always got the most candy and toys and the little kids cried and i never felt bad about it.in other words, you would have hated me at henry's party. but i'm a grownup now, so, you know, maybe i would have shared. a little. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :) And I do mean that. Happy, happy birthday!

[elise]

Sounds like all potential disaster was averted. Congrats; you could now add "Pre-school party planner" to your resume. I doubt that Sedaris would have fared as well :)

I'm glad Henry had a great birthday!

[Jemima]

I love the above Cuban party story. Nice strategy.

And isn't laughing at children one of the best reasons for having them? "big woody" indeed. Snort!

[Melanie]

I have to agree, there's really nothing more fun than having your kid say something that sounds inappropriate and laughing hysterically at him. Kids are the best for stand-up comedy!

[mainja]

today i have learned something new.

i had no idea there was any kind of pinatas other than the bash the crap out of them kind.

ribbons sound somewhat less satisfying somehow, but certainly a better idea than giving people a club, blindfolding them, spinning them around, then telling them to go to town...

[shy me]

Happy Birthday kiddo. Glad to hear about... heh... the larger Woody.. heh..heh....

ahem.

[dutch from sweet juniper]

sounds like someone needs to call the mayor of the city of parties 'bout that there pinata.

[Daniel]

Everyone writes lol lolololol la la la... but yours is one of the few blogs (you are one of the few writers) that actually cause me to laugh out loud!.

[Suebob]

A string-pulling pinata? No stick? No bashed light fixtures or heads? No danger? No evil uncle operating the rope and not letting anyone get a decent crack in? No crying? What kind of fun is THAT?

[samantha Jo Campen]

I think you still haven't woken up yet. The REAL party with tears, blood and danger will be happening tomorrow.

Write about that then.

[R]

Hee! I'll echo what Daniel said--I literally laughed (well, more like snorted I guess, as is appropriate) out loud, so I wanted to tell you. Thanks for that!!

[Gillian]

UNCLE. I say uuuuunnnnncle with the Woody story. I am sliding right off of my chair like an octupus only fatter.