A few words about writing.
September 1, 2008I've been thinking a lot lately about the creative process. Partly because Scott has started this amazing project, after years of talking about it but not doing much of anything. The one thing harder than starting is starting after years of talking about starting. Talking can kill the urge to create. So I'm sort of dying of pride, over here, while my husband works and works and keeps working, like he's a professional. I am a little in awe.
I've also been thinking about it because a reader (hi Sharon!) recently expressed surprise that I struggle with writing. I'm a little embarrassed to even share that with you, because it's kind of ridiculously flattering. It's also woefully inaccurate. So I wanted to reiterate to her, and you guys, that writing is a struggle for me, and always will be. It's the nature of the game. It's always hard, especially if you're doing it right. You're always aspiring to be better than you are, so no matter how much experience you get, it's always an uphill battle. Always, always, always.
Not to mention that whole "inner critic" hooha that anyone creative has to deal with. I am amazingly accomplished at beating myself up. I tell myself I'm too old, that all really talented writers were published much earlier than I ever was, that I don't have enough publications under my belt, that I should have written my novel when I got out of graduate school, that there are X number of writers who left my writing program when I did who are all on their second or third or seventh novel while I'm still not even a third of the way finished with a short story collection. I tell myself blogs are useless, that this site is a waste of time that's taking away from my Precious Writerly Resources. Or I tell myself that I'm just a blogger, as if blogging is somehow less relevant, so I shouldn't bother writing anything else. I tell myself that because I don't have large expanses of time to work I'm never going to reach my full potential. Or just decide that I suck and everyone who hates me is right and I'm never going to blah blah blah blah BLAH. It's a miracle that I get anything done, I'm so busy giving myself a hard time.
But everyone does this. This is how the mind works to stop you from writing. Creating is scary, and your brain wants you to run from scary things. For some reason it forgets about the rewards that come from risk. The brain will also do this for painting, or dancing, whatever creative work you do. I also draw and paint (in an extremely amateurish fashion, mind you) and I've been finding all sorts of reasons not to do either these days. The light in my dining room isn't quite right. I need better materials. My sketchbook is either too large or too small. There's nothing good to draw in my house, and I don't want to leave the house to draw because then people will look at what I'm doing. I can't remember how paints work. Watercolor paper is expensive and don't I need to stretch it, or something? Also my brushes aren't right. I have numerous excellent reasons for never attempting to create any artwork ever again.
Then yesterday I sat down and, while my brain screamed NO! DON'T! STOP!, I sketched for an hour. I sketched my cat, and my foot. Exciting, no? It was crappy and I did some terrible work. When I was done that voice in my head had been reduced, temporarily, to a mouselike squeak. And I felt like a superhero.
The only way to win over that voice is to work despite it. Doing stuff is always better than not doing stuff. Period.
Here's an inspiring talk on creativity by Ira Glass that another lovely reader (hi Erin!) sent me.
In a similar vein comes this anecdote from Art and Fear—which is a brilliant piece of work, by the way, chock full of quotables. A ceramics class is divided into two groups. The first group is graded on quantity: it doesn't matter how good their stuff is, just how many pounds of work they end up with. The second group is graded on quality: it didn't matter how few pots they create, just how perfect the final product is. Can you guess who ends up doing the best work? It's the quantity group: the students who churned out work day after day and learned from their mistakes. Meanwhile, the quality group had wasted time mulling over how they could achieve perfection, so by the end of the class they had "little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay."
It's all about working and working and working some more, no matter how crappy you think it is. You are never the best judge of your work, so shut up and work and don't stop to wonder why it's not a masterpiece. Remember what Voltaire said: "The perfect is the enemy of the good." He probably wrote that after spending an hour whining about how he'd never be as important an Enlightenment figure as that fathead Rousseau .
Don't sit and agonize over how you're not good enough. Don't leave yourself with a pile of dead clay. Start and keep going; if you stop, start again, and keep going.
Reader Comments (102)
Quantity = more than no words a week.
Got it.
I have thousands of dollars of equipment in my garage that does not get used because gee, I need to clean my house first. With a toothbrush. Or I feel guilty about putting my family aside for a few hours. Or I need to watch a repeat season of "Top Chef". But it all comes down to fear-fear-fear. Fear that I just don't have "it". Fear that I never had "it" to begin with. But you can't get "it" unless you at least give it a go.
Ironically, as my name says, I teach art and drill into my students the importance of never giving up no matter how frustrated...time to practice what I have been preaching. Thanks for the reminder and all the lovely commenting souls who remind me the naysayer voices in my head are just plain silly.
Forget all that. I want the sketches.
But do I ever draw now? Um... no...
Much better than my former strategy, known as smug... guilt.... smug...., when I wrote a blast of 10 pages, then felt great so did nothing for a week or two; then the guilt seeped in, till it was so unbearable I wrote another ten pages.... and so on. Very bad for the mental health and appalling for the coherence and continuity of the book you are purportedly writing.
Really going back to the file now... once I've checked my email, read the news, hoovered the cat...
There are few blogs I look forward to reading like I look forward to watching Grey's Anatomy (sensuous guilty pleasure-- except more intellectual and less guilty than tv)and yours is one of them.
Do you ever write for magazines like Wondertime? Wondertime has great writers. So-ho-ooo much better than Parents mag. I can see you in there, easily.
xo,
N.
Sincerly
-Dale
I label myself the Queen of Procrastination, because I fear my creativity. I'm only half joking when I say it's scary what I'm able to do well with only a minimal effort. It really is scary, and I'm afraid to succeed. 'Cause then I'll really have to live UP to expectations rather than keeping the bar set really low.
Yes, our brains are hard wired for self-flagellation.
Thank you for the reminder that we need to (in the ubiquitous words of Nike) "Just do it".
Love that clip from Ira Glass. Every time I see him I have to laugh about that TAL show on testostorine where he hypothesizes that since he is the successful host of a national radio program that he must have high levels of testosterone. And of course he ends up having much less than his gay coworker.
Bravo and THANK YOU!Linda
So, now, back to work.
Thank you so much, it logically makes so much sense, to just push past your critic (mine is so VERY VERY venom-tongued), but it helps so much to hear someone else fighting theirs, and encouraging us to battle our own.