A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

School

At school, you learn math. Here is a math question:

Are we going to ride a bike, or not ride a bike?

The answer is: RIDE A BIKE. When correcting your student, karate chop the air with each word and then glare at her for at least five seconds. Math is important!

Extra credit: after 39 comes 30-10.

God

Is just a burning bush.

Mosquitoes

Will remove all your blood if you're not careful.

Work

When you are the boss, you should be the #1 boss.

A good boss will always shout at his subordinates. He can shout the following:

I command you to make me a sandwich!

Work or you'll be fired!

Work I will give you threats!

Work or I will kill you! With a boomerang!

Your subordinates will tolerate boomerang-talk more than they will talk of guns, so go with BOOMERANGS.

Comments

[fairly odd mother]

I'm telling my kids tonight to stay in their beds or I'll boomerang their asses. Hope it works. That, or I'll try the karate chop motion.

[Operation Pink Herring]

Now if my math classes had had questions like that, I wouldn't have gotten a B in fractions and cried for 4 days. OF COURSE, ride a bike. Duh.

[Claire]

Hysterical post.Also, did you know- if you swallow a fishbone, it will travel through your bloodstream, pierce your heart, and you will DIE. Taught to four year old me by my parents, who swear that they had nothing to do with it.

[Jen]

Oh, this Henry just makes me smile and smile! He and my Holden would be best friends.At my Work, Shawn is the bigger boss, but I am the boss of my own self, because Shawn is not that much taller than me. AND, if I really wanted to be a Librarian, then I should just ASK Shawn. Because she is not a bossy boss, and would let me work half the day in my office and half the day at the Library, reading.

I put this one past Shawn, and funnily enough...she was not the least bit opposed. Probably because Holden thinks that "she is one hot lady because of her curly yellow hair. And also, because of the candy."

AND, also, God? He lives in the toilet, with the fish.