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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« I'm still gloating. | Main | Introducing... »
Wednesday
Nov082006

A whole new world! The first three hours.

7 a.m.: The radio alarm wakes us up. NPR briskly announces that the Democrats have taken the House. I’m trembling with glee. No, wait, I’m trembling with cold. I look out the window. It’s pouring rain. The Democrats never said anything about rain.

7:08 a.m.: Once again, I can’t find my slippers. I can’t believe I thought everything was going to be different now.

7:15 a.m.: After coming down with a fever yesterday, Henry wakes up with a normal temperature and claims that he’s well enough to go to school. Thank you, Robert Menendez!

7:20 a.m.: I, on the other hand, am not feeling so hot. Thanks, Robert Menendez.

8:00 a.m.: My waffle is soggy. And I don’t even think gay marriage has been legalized yet.

9:00 a.m.: On the way into school, Henry steps right into an ankle-deep puddle. This wouldn’t have been a problem if even one of our newly appointed Democrats had reminded me to put on his rain boots.

9:05 a.m. As I hug Henry goodbye, I notice that he feels a little… toasty. I run back to my car before the Democrats can disappoint me some more.

10:00 a.m. In front of the coffee shop, it takes me about fifteen minutes to parallel park my car. People stop to criticize my poor technique. Since we moved, I’d been too afraid to even attempt parallel parking. That is, until the Democrats went into power. I just figured they would help, somehow. Of course I also thought I’d get a national health care program.

I’ve never been so disappointed in my life.

Reader Comments (44)

Maybe Rummy can help negotiate a parking plan for the nation...after all, he's looking for work....
November 8, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjen
Like Meredith, when I read Robert Menendez, I totally pictured Lyle Menendez. Michigan, in a stunning show of intelligence, re-elected our female Democratic Governor instead of Dick DeVos, co-founder of Amway. We still have a Republican Attorney General and Secretary of State, though.

November 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth
Let's hope that in their second day in power, the Democrats get something done. Maybe less traffic? Better weather? Un-cranky children?
November 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBethiclaus
I'm shocked some of the other commenters can't fathom how a Democrat might not be "for" every issue which regularly falls into the Dem category. They're called planks, and they make a platform, and we don't have to like all of them.
November 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAnne in New Jersey
My day was like this:

Democrats take the house. Sick child is victoriously returned to school. Donald Rumsfeld resigns. Same child's school is evacuated due to a MASSIVE gas leak in the neighborhood, sending him home EARLY, for another day of pestering me.

Coincidence? I don't think so. Or, wait, maybe I do. Whatever.
November 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSusan
Heh. They were too busy dogging Rumsfeld. Betcha they'll be there tomorrow with an umbrella!
November 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterHeather
Really, truly, wonderfully inspired.
November 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBrooklynMissesYou
Today I heard someone say, "You know, I'm going to have a lot more free time, whatwith all the time I'm not going to be watching Fox News." And really, that was just the cherry on top of a great day for all Democrats.

But if they would work on this pesky cold I feel creeping in my head...
November 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSam
Thus arrives the vindication for my not scrambling out to vote.... I have yet to see that one politician is any better than any other politician. None of them have ever had a direct positive effect on my life, my waffles, my ability to predict the weather.... so I stay home and watch old movies and eat popcorn and I'm happier for it!

- M
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMarcheline
My hair's been really frizzy since Tuesday. I am never one to play the "blame game", but I don't think it's a coincidence.
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfellowmom
P.S. I don't watch Fox news, but I assume they are reporting that Tuesday signalled a Republican mandate.
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfellowmom
I would like to thank Mr.Menendez for forcing me to sit in traffic in Morristown for 25 minutes in the pouring rain just to run to the store. This should have taken 5 minutes, sir! (Still, I was doing the Democrat happy dance in the car, though)
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermissbanshee
I watched CNN last night and cried tears of joy... Oh, you red state Virginia, how you pleased me. Ancestors of yore, I thank you!

On the CNN coverage, my husband was looking at the red/blue map of how Virginia voted. My husband said, "Wow, that's a lot of red..." If only he knew! My sister lives in Roanoke, my father's entire family is from rural Virginia. And yet, they birthed a Democrat.

Here a Democrat, there a Democrat, everywhere a Democrat...

Alas, Arnold is still my Governator.
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterWendy Mac
Just think how bad your day might have been had the Republicans stayed in power. There probably would have been an earthquake in New Jersey or something...
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMartha
Ha! This is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.

Claire McCaskill, my baby pooped down the leg of his pants. Who's gonna clean THAT up?
November 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterErin
How fun is this?!I don't label myself as a Rep or Dem...I tend to vote Rep but added my vote to the successful campaign of a Dem governor this time around, based on numerous issues not related to whether there was a little D or an little R after the candidates name. It's amazing how much of the same things we all want, not matter where our "politics" lie- thanks for pointing this out in a fun but poignant way!
November 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKristine
Well, I can say that we, in Washington, are the proud owners of two democratic senators and a democratic governor - all of which are women. But you know...even they can't stop the rain.
November 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCommon Sense
This one is brilliant!
November 11, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterIrishGoddess
So funny! Progress is slow, isn't it. We have our fingers crossed for some great changes ahead.
November 12, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey

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