...And all manner of things shall be well*
March 1, 2012*I just had to complete that Julian of Norwich quote from my last post. (Which is actually "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well," if you want to be accurate about it, which I DO.)
Oh, my dears. I was not exactly on the brink a couple of days ago, but I WAS slipping down a steep hill (figuratively) and headed straight for the (psychic) muck, and you pulled me up. I can not tell you how much your emails and comments helped. Thank you, thank you. I would invite you all to my place for tea but you wouldn't all fit and it would take forever to brew that much tea, and really, let's think this through, guys. It can't happen! No matter how I want it to!
Thank you all for being kind and wise and generous. I hope the support I got has helped other people, because I can't keep it all to myself.
I feel so much better. Your responses were a huge part of that. What also helped: just recovering. As much as panic brought on Sunday's retch-fest, I'm pretty sure a virus played a part, because the feelings of despair, along with the queasiness, lifted exactly 24 hours later. While I laid about, I found past episodes of SMASH on Hulu, and those amused me. (That is one silly show. So many silly geese, Broadwaying around!) Not to mention: talking to my psychiatrist about what was going on. It's always good to get professional feedback and reassurance, as well as productive ACTION STEPS.
Also cheering: taking my dog to the park. (There is nothing better than Charlie losing his MIND when I pull out a poop bag. He's all I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS and he scrambles all around the kitchen tiles because what could be better than pooping? WHAT? And when I pull out MULTIPLE bags--which I do whenever we go on longer walks--his flip-out is multiplied times a million. Have you ever seen the Manchurian Candidate? When Laurence Harvey's hypnotic trigger is the Queen of Diamonds and then Frank Sinatra shows him an entire DECK of the Queen of Diamonds like extra Queens mean Extra Hypnotized and Harvey gets super-twitchy? Charlie acts like that, except with more wagging.)
(I just tried to find that clip online and I could not. And I was explaining to Scott why I wanted that clip and now Scott thinks I have truly lost my mind. This is because Scott never takes Charlie on long walks because I always do because I am the best person ever.)
(here's the trailer, anyway. It's a weird one! And look, the freeze frame is the scene I was referring to! Please watch this movie if you have not already.
But maybe don't watch The Manchurian Candidate if you're feeling anxious? Just a thought. I'd recommend Smash instead but it's crazy dumb.)
Well! Thank goodness THAT long series of parentheticals is over. I think we've all learned a little something here. I'm not sure what, yet. I'll get back to you.
And you guys? What can I do for you? What do you want? Name it and it's yours! I have some more sketches and paintings I can show you. Want a video? Want me to dance for you? I WILL DEGRADE MYSELF, WITHIN REASON. (Note: I probably will not degrade myself.)
Reader Comments (28)
I have always loved that quotation, and in fact, have it permanently posted on my sidebar. Things have a way of working out. Glad you're feeling better!
I am familiar with the poop bag dance! (a sentence I'm certain I could never have predicted I'd type...) Glad you're feeling better :)
I don't think I can ask for anything from you, certainly nothing degrading (I can THINK of degrading things to ask you do; I simply can't ask you to DO them). In trying to help you feel better, I realized that your words helped me, your readers helped me, we were all in a helpfest o' help. Thank you.
Oh, wait; yes, I've seen that movie; I know which scene you're referring to except I have no cute dog who moves in a similarly frenetic way. I watched it on VHS many years ago at my father's suggestion since I'd recently seen the remake in '04 I think, in black and white (I think; is it still only in black and white? That seems an odd question, yet I'm not sure why. Maybe I assume everything has been colorized, so...).
Yes! The original is in black and white. And the remake is...notasgood.
So glad you are feeling better! I feel slightly selfish asking this, but MORE SKETCHES please! Got my poster of your tree against the sky delivered yesterday and I LOVE it. Can't wait to frame and hang it up in my house. More please!
Oh, Janet, I'm glad to hear it! So happy the print quality is good. Thanks!
You don't have to do anything for us! You give so much of yourself all the time. Glad you're feeling a bit better.
Just keep writing, Alice.
Feeling better is always a good thing. And is Angela the greatest mommyvillain in the history of movies or what?
cat calendar. same shot (you know which one) for each and every month.
(ps - got my hair cut very short today. thought i'd share.)
Sometimes grownups need a "time out" too--I am so glad you are feeling better and have emerged from that spiral.
Glad all is well. Or at least better. And that you weren't at the brink to begin with.
Here's what you can do for me: When I'm in NYC this September having panic attacks watching my eldest child skating in the Middle Atlantic Championships at Chelsea Piers, you can let me know where the best place for a quiet glass of wine is in NYC. Because I hear it's a really small town.
Alice, I wanted to say the other day that I really understand your terror over something happening to your child. Sometimes I worry about the potential things that could happen; what if we had an accident & plunged into icy water, what if we had a fire? Then I plan how I would get us out of those situations. Maybe I'm wrong but I think most parents (many parents?) have these sorts of fears, because we love our little ones so much! I try really hard not to let my head go in this direction, because it is not really helping anything. But I do understand, and I had sympathy for you the other day, and I'm so glad you are feeling better!!
Just don't stop writing. Ever. (EVER!) You're the best.
Just happy you're better; you don't need to do anything other than tell us about being better.
My money was on a virus. What do I win?
:-)
Glad you are better.
Please just keeping writing. Your friendship ("blogship"?) is just as wonderful as curling up with a warm cup of tea and a good book. Sometimes I even wait to read your posts until after I've put the children to bed and constructed a blanket fort (it muffles my giggles).
I love Angela Lansbury in that movie.
Well, love is the wrong word. Impressed and deeply disturbed, and struck by how different and yet the same she looked when she was young.
Anyway. Why not eat some delicious fruit? Whatever kind you like.
Just let us keep visiting inside your head.
You don't need to do anything for US...except keep being your awesome self and keep doing things that make YOU happy and at peace. And thanks again for always sharing and for just being YOU. : )
I just entered this new world of the blogosphere. I had NO IDEA that this world existed. Needless to say, I've been combing through endless blogs, trying to find voices I can relate to. I must admit that I've found lots of garbage, but your voice is golden. I'll be coming back. Feel free to check out my blog in its itty, bitty infancy stage.
"The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself."
www.themommypsychologist.com
Oh Alice, it's simple. I would like pictures of Charlie and that fat cat of yours (I can't actually remember her name right this second but she's black and fat, you know the one). Like your own little version of Cute Overload (thanks for putting me onto that site by the way. SO. MUCH. LAUGHTER). Even if they're not doing anything cute I wanna see em.
Alice, you once commented on my blog and it not only made my day, but made me feel not so alone. Thanks for your writing. I'm glad your readers could give you the gift you give in each post....understanding, support, and humour. Hope you continue to feel better.
When I go to the pulmonary specialist for the anxious-making sick I have that hasn't gone away will you sketch my lungs? No? Because that's gross? Yeah, I see your point.