At least it was invisible.

I am inexplicably delighted when my son expresses any displeasure with me. I think it's a combination of surprise that it doesn't overly bother me, and relief that he's (mostly) passed the stage where he just has a fit on the ground while I watch.

This morning I was in full-on nag mode; we were ten minutes late for camp, and I was all GET ON YOUR SHOES and YOU CAN BRING ONLY ONE TOY INTO THE CAR NOT TWELVE and HOLD YOUR LUNCH BAG LET'S GO COME ON C'MON C'MON. Finally, Henry walked out of the house. Just walked out, and stood on the porch, refusing to face me.

"If you don't hold your lunch bag, you're not getting lunch," I said. I am one tough broad. Also I had no free hands to hold the damn thing.

He slammed back into the house. "You're ann-oying me," he said. He glowered.

I tried not to kiss his flushed little pissed-off face. I can't help it! He's cute when he's angry! "I'm being pretty grumpy this morning," I said.

He nodded. "Worst. Mommy. Ever."

"Ever? Does that mean I win an award?"

He thought about this for a minute. "Your award is a bunch of garbage. But it's invisible." He looked me over. "You're holding it right now."

I couldn't help it, I cracked up. He did too. "Stupid mommy," he attempted, then he saw my face, and said, "Just kidding! Not stupid. Only worst."

-----

In other news, there is a new Wonderland post up today. Also, I will be away next week on yet another family vacation, this one with my delightful in-laws, who are much more accepting of my SPF 90,000 usage. Also, did you see my new masthead? The design is courtesy of Scott, who was tired of watching me attempt to use Photoshop, and the tagline is from Henry, who I think meant to say, "You're going to regret this," but I like his version better.

UPDATE: Apparently no one can see my masthead. Yes. Well. I will strive to figure out why.

UPDATE #2: Masthead now visible? Yes?

Comments

[Alyce]

masthead? what masthead?

[karen]

It's true. There is no masthead.

[Cheryl]

Your masthead seems to be invisible!

[DesireeK]

Your masthead, like your garbage award, is invisible...

[sweetney]

Finslippy and the Masthead Of Mystery

[Melanie]

And the "My Most Favorite Comment Ever" Award goes to: Sweetney!I lawled.But yes, I thought there was something wrong with me, and now I am glad I'm not the only one who can't see the Invisible Masthead.

[Joy of course]

Oh I like this post too, invisible masthead and all. Worst mommy ever indeed. www.worstmamaever.blogspot.com. We started a whole new blog dedicated to just this topic. I think we may have you beat on the awards.

[Beth]

My son often tells me I'm the worst mom ever, but he's never given me an award. I feel cheated somehow. ;^)

[elise]

Oh my goodness, Henry is hilarious. How does he come up with invisible awards? And then proclaim that you are holding said award of disgustingness, right then?

I believe that may have been his very first wicked burn. Or, at least the first that you've blogged about. No doubt he's been wicked burning for ages now :)

Great post. And I can't wait to see the masthead.

[elise]

Oh my goodness, Henry is hilarious. How does he come up with invisible awards? And then proclaim that you are holding said award of disgustingness, right then?

I believe that may have been his very first wicked burn. Or, at least the first that you've blogged about. No doubt he's been wicked burning for ages now :)

Great post. And I can't wait to see the masthead.

[Thomas]

When my niece was younger she made a big show of telling me, sometimes in the space of a few minutes that I was her favorite uncle and I was the worst uncle she had.

I'm her mother's only sibling and her dad is an only child. I'm not sure what she was trying to tell me.

[YetAnotherKaren]

Thought for sure the post title was about the masthead. But imagine! An award! Yay you.

[Sonja]

Well. I was going to be all mindblowingly witty and compare the ivisitbility of the masthead to that of the garbage award (congrats, BTW), but it would seem others have already done that. Fine, then. No wittiness from me!

[Alissa]

i wish all my garbage was invisible...

[mary]

I was afraid that was some glitch on my computer keeping me from witnessing your incredible new masthead. I'm glad I'm not being left out of the incredible-ness. Must be incredible indeed to be invisible and in the company of your award.

[Matt]

What a great masthead!! I mean, wow! Why has no one ever thought of this before? The nuance, the ephemerality, the very essence of almost being...

[dreama]

Am I the only one that has been able to see the masthead for days? (although I have no clue what the dude's doing...ole-timey liposuction, perhaps?...oh now everyone wishes they could see it!...but, no, just clueless me)

I'm using Safari on a mac. Maybe that has something to do with it?

[Megan]

I can see it in Safari too, but not Firefox. Boo, browsers! It looks good in Safari though!

[Pretty Lush]

Damn, he's cute even when he's insulting.No mast head for me to compliment.

[Amy the Mom]

Like everyone else, I'm loving the invisible masthead.

[mrs. f]

I too can see the masthead in Safari, but not Firefox. What *is* he doing?

[Melanie]

I almost always feel like smooching my son when he is angry, because damn does angry = cute. Of course, that's only for about 5 seconds until he starts doing something unacceptable, like name-calling or hitting or whatever, and then I have to be all mean mommy. Luckily I get Worst Mother and Best Mother awards in about equal measure.I, too, cannot see a masthead. Invisible like your garbage award.

[sheila]

None of the Emperor's New Masthead for us.

[Computron]

The Masthead isn't wearing any clothes!

[Helen Redi-Whip]

I am strong. I am invisible. I am Masthead!