At least it was invisible.

I am inexplicably delighted when my son expresses any displeasure with me. I think it's a combination of surprise that it doesn't overly bother me, and relief that he's (mostly) passed the stage where he just has a fit on the ground while I watch.

This morning I was in full-on nag mode; we were ten minutes late for camp, and I was all GET ON YOUR SHOES and YOU CAN BRING ONLY ONE TOY INTO THE CAR NOT TWELVE and HOLD YOUR LUNCH BAG LET'S GO COME ON C'MON C'MON. Finally, Henry walked out of the house. Just walked out, and stood on the porch, refusing to face me.

"If you don't hold your lunch bag, you're not getting lunch," I said. I am one tough broad. Also I had no free hands to hold the damn thing.

He slammed back into the house. "You're ann-oying me," he said. He glowered.

I tried not to kiss his flushed little pissed-off face. I can't help it! He's cute when he's angry! "I'm being pretty grumpy this morning," I said.

He nodded. "Worst. Mommy. Ever."

"Ever? Does that mean I win an award?"

He thought about this for a minute. "Your award is a bunch of garbage. But it's invisible." He looked me over. "You're holding it right now."

I couldn't help it, I cracked up. He did too. "Stupid mommy," he attempted, then he saw my face, and said, "Just kidding! Not stupid. Only worst."

-----

In other news, there is a new Wonderland post up today. Also, I will be away next week on yet another family vacation, this one with my delightful in-laws, who are much more accepting of my SPF 90,000 usage. Also, did you see my new masthead? The design is courtesy of Scott, who was tired of watching me attempt to use Photoshop, and the tagline is from Henry, who I think meant to say, "You're going to regret this," but I like his version better.

UPDATE: Apparently no one can see my masthead. Yes. Well. I will strive to figure out why.

UPDATE #2: Masthead now visible? Yes?

Comments

[bellevelma]

No masthead on internet explorer either. I bet it looks nice though. Congrats on the award!

[Nell]

I love the invisible garbage! Love it!

[My Minivan Is Faster Than Your]

Congrats on the award you totally win as far as I'm concerned :)

[Twice Five Miles]

I CAN see the masthead! Hooray, Safari!

And the tagline is perfect.

[elise]

Safari has allowed me to see the masthead. And lo, it is kinda gross.

[Anne Prince]

Note to self: do not hire Scott to do any graphics for the WHNA blog.

[Wendy McDonald]

I can see it w/Safari, too -- yay, Safari! I kinda like the new masthead. It reminds me of an old newspaper advert. "Remedies and Tonics for Indulgence" or some such thing. . . . and oh, the tagline! Well said, Henry.

[mary]

Masthead now visible. Oooh. Whatever's happening there looks like it might be painful, but remarkable in a sort of Leonardo da Vinci kind of way.

[goldfish]

I see the masthead, but...but I do not grok the masthead.

[Writer-Editor]

While the quality of the drawing is lovely, I -- well, I am afraid of the masthead graphic. But your tagline is perfection.

[Anne]

NOW I can see the masthead, and it looks painful...regretful is the LEAST of it, apparently! :)

[Sarah]

I am disturbed by the masthead. And in love with your son.

[Gina]

When I hear "worst mommy ever" and "meanest mommy in the world", I beam and say, "THANKS!".

I've actually been looking for a t-shirt and a crown with my title. Maybe you can use one as well? :-)

[Deb Abramson]

I'm a little embarrassed to be doing this, honestly; and yet it's all so relevant to the discussion at hand. So here goes. Come see my blog, where I'm stupidmommy, in all my infinite stupidity.

[aleximac]

what exactly is your masthead doing? it looks like an early medical experiment. And, judging from the expression, very satisfactory!

Henry is even more angelic when stormy and glowering. And he's not afraid to speak up! Good qualities in a person.

[Ayla]

Masthead now visible...what exactly is it doing?

I've been reading for a while but never commented before. I was going to on the Minty Bear post, but for some reason didn't.

Anyway, I love your blog. And your child is a sweetheart. :)

[Anne Prince]

I see the masthead. Double note to self: do not hire Scott to do any graphics for the WHNA blog.

Have a great vacation - we will be sure to spoil Charlie rotten!

[schmutzie]

I love the new masthead being that I am a fan of both the colour maroon and vintagey medical imagery. It's Schmutzie approved!

[sara]

I'm just glad that his right hand is above his pants line.

[Julie]

I love your post because I, too, seem pleased with the most inappropriate things. For example: I actually really love it when my newborn cries. There is something so adorable and sweet about it, and I just feel like his crying opens this door into everything that is going on inside him, if only I can figure it all out. What does it all mean?

I am less enamored with the crying at night, of course. Then I feel more frustrated than fascinated.

[leah]

I can now see the new masthead! Yay.Yet, the new masthead makes me very uncomfortable. I like the tagline, but I think I preferred the invisible garbage. I must avert my eyes from the scary image. It bothers me. It haunts me...

[Deb]

That masthead puts the SLIPPY in Finslippy, yes it does! I like it!But don't let the guys at lolgay.com get ahold of it. "Hai, just kleanen UR insideness."

[Liz]

New masthead is just as confusing as the old Dooce-made one. It's growing on me though.

Maybe next one could have a dolphin theme?

[ExSchutz]

Alice, could you please explain the new masthead? It's making me feel stupid because I can't figure it out.

[Mauigirl]

New masthead is striking! Like Finslippy, you don't know what it is but you know you like it.

(except you did explain Finslippy in one of your posts so I do know!)