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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
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Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« Pop quiz! | Main | Four more days. »
Wednesday
Feb202008

Conversation during snack time.

Sofia: Henry, guess what? We're all animals! Who talk!

Henry: What?

Sofia: And Henry! Did you know? Before we were people, we were apes!

Henry: What?

Sofia: And you know what? Before we were apes, we were fish!

Henry: WHAT?

Sofia: Before we were fish, we were…hmm.

Me: Goo. We were primordial goo.

Henry: We were goo!?

Henry and Sofia throw themselves to the ground laughing for a minute or two.

Henry: Do we remember being apes?

Me: No, that was a long, long time ago. Before even I was born.

Sofia: How does fish turn into apes?

Henry: Did God make the goo or the fish? Or what?

Me: Let's have more cookies!

 

 

Reader Comments (30)

my reaction is the same as yours... except sometimes, just for kicks, i have my 6yo dd call her dad at work to ask... bwahahaha
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlissa
Snack time sounds one million trillion times more fun than working in an office.
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPants
Cookies do make religion go down a little bit easier. (But only a little).
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDiaryofWhy
Really, cookies are the meaning of life.
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuburbanCorrespondent
Wow! Is this what I have to look forward to in about 3 or 4 years when my toddler contemplates the meaning of life? Yikes!
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLil Foot's Mommy
Sometimes I try to explain this stuff to my six year old when he asks. It's a challenge to keep it simple, let alone interesting. Inevitably he ends the conversation with something like "hey mom, guess what? When I Bumblebee and Optimus Prime are transformers but I know they aren't real but there COULD be transformers."

Which then effectively changes the subject. He's smart that kid.
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSleeping Mommy
thank GOD they're teaching evolution in your area.
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersarah
I need a comments proof reader. My son really is not drunk during our conversations. I just don't always proofread my comments. Sigh...
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSleeping Mommy
I always offer more cookies when we get to the "who made the goo" portion of the conversation as well!
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBritt Brady
Why was I picturing a jar of gefilte fish when I read this post? (Could be that it's fish, in goo, in a jar. All that's missing is the whole APE business!)JulesHouse of Jules



February 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjules
Man, your play dates are WAAAAY cooler than ours. If I have to be Belle or Ariel or Pochohantas one more time, I'm going to scream.
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlizneust
Alice, last night I had a dream about you. You were doing a blogging demonstration in this hi-tech amphitheatre thingy with dramatic lighting and everything. It was a quarter of a circle or so, with you at the bottom and bench seats going up. I came in late, and felt intimidated because I'm so new to blogging and the audience was all full of "vets". I was having trouble getting my crocodile up the stairs (yes, my crocodile). I was pushing him with a handle, like a lawn-mower. I was making a bit of a scene, and finally got my crocodile about halfway up the stairs and tried to slip into a seat, but his tail bumped two bloggers' computers. They said some mean things to me, and I felt even more intimidated. Then it all got kind of fuzzy. Loco, no?

February 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterprc
Because yeah, you were born SO LONG AGO! lol

I love that they are learning about evolution. We have to teach it ourselves, since Sunshine goes to school in Utah.
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterclevergirl
Sometimes I think my son is STILL a monkey... at least he behaves like one! LOL!
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFrankie
Okay, that was adorable.

And not that it matters at this point, but in preparation for when your little human gets a bit older I wanted to offer that humans are not descended from apes, but rather: apes and humans share a common ancestor. There was an evolutionary fork in the road, so to speak.

I know: blah blah blah



February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCat


Alice I'm so glad you post EVEN during winter break... I've actually been going back to the beginning (when I was such a new mom I didn't know you existed) to read more of you hilarious tales.

When my mom tried to explain evolution to me, I thought long and hard about it and then asked her if my grandmother was a monkey when she was a little girl. Certainly didn't win me any cookies from grandma who was listening in the next room!
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterzaneymama
Way to deflect, Alice. Now, there's a skill that gets better with parenting.

Still, I'm kinda impressed that evolution and primordial goo were topics during your snack time. Veeery impressive.

Kim
February 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Yummy Mummy
Reminds me of the day I tried to explain the bible version of our apperance on earth to my daughter...me:there are two stories but according to the bible, God created the earth and everything on it including us. her:how did he make us? me:well, it's a long story honey. her: maybe he had lots of babies in his tummy!
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermarie leconte
crazy convos with the children, eh?! we have had some doozies along the way. how about the 'who made God?' question, i can't call it a conversation, b/c it doesn't go much farther than that!and I love marie's daughter's conclusion! too awesome!
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteradrian
De-lurking evolutionary/genetics biologist here.

BWA-HA-HA-HA!

That's awesome, you made my day!
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermelanie
The apes ate the gefilte fish. And then there was light! And then, cookies.

[wipes tears]
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennyM
Awesome. I'm peculiar because I invite these types of conversations with my five year old. Next year, when he hits Catholic school for kindergarten, I anticipate some backlash.
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManic Mommy
Priceless. I love those moments. When did they end?
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie
hilarious. These are questions I often ask myself as well. And the answer is always cookies.
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe mama bird diaries
Everyone knows that human life on planet Earth appeared after the Beast Wars.
February 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Brown

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