Craving for a tan.

.

Strangely enough, I am also craving for a tan, or better yet, a sunburn, and the rise in body temperature that would accompany it. It is cold here, nipple-invertingly cold; I'm no stranger to the cold but with the wind whipping off the canals HOLY CRAP it's cold.

My first-day impressions, clouded as they were by a thick haze of sleep deprivation, were recorded in an email to my husband:

"Getting to the train? And then the tram? From the airport? Not an easy experience for someone who probably right now can't tie her own shoes. There's no way to figure out which tram goes where and you need a special ticket to take the tram and how do you pay for the ticket? No way to know! Everything's in Dutch! We finally figured out that we had to buy the ticket at the bookstore in the train station, where we lamely were all American and like "GIVE US TICKET PLEASE" and they were all "Thank you for not learning a single word of Dutch."

I don't even know how to say thank you.

Then we got to the hotel, which is an amazing place--I may spend the rest of my time here in the bathtub, and if Melissa wants to hang out with me, well, she'll just have to climb in--but they wanted me to fill out forms, and seriously I couldn't do it. If someone had handed me an IQ test right then and there I would have pulled out a brown crayon and scrawled I LIKE NAPS across it. I thought I had lost my passport and proceeded to have a full-scale panic attack, which was nipped in the bud .5 seconds later when I found my passport. Melissa gazed down upon me in pity. "

Then before I could hit "send" I passed out on my keyboard.

If anyone in Amsterdam wants to get drinks with us, email me. Melissa needs company in her quest to drink more than a single beer, and I'm not up to the task. Yet.

Comments

[mom on a wire]

You'd better figure out how to ask for coffee right quick! Although I believe the the caffeine-desperate pleading of "ME NEED COFFEE" is universally understood.

[melissaS]

Do not answer Alice's pleas for someone to meet for a drink.

She will only pass out and leave me to venture into a bar on my own.

We'll just be tourists. Totally sober tourists! Hooray!

[Nicky]

I've just come back from Amsterdam myself. Don't worry, they all speak English perfectly (although as everywhere do appreciate you trying!) And your I Amsterdam card will have a tram ticket and theres a tram map inside. Enjoy, I think it's a brilliant city.

[Kaguya Hime]

I like naps too! Yay!

[Meg]

I can't even find my way around my apartment, let alone AMSTERDAM.

[Shelli]

Sounds exciting, even if you are exhausted! I hope you recover enough to enjoy it.

[Mir]

Wow. I can get that kind of angst without leaving the country, but I admire your fortitude. ;)

[knq]

Ah, Amsterdam in the Spring... oh wait, it's February.

Oh well, find yourself a good pair of clogs and enjoy the cheese. Dutch beer (??) is highly overrated.

[Miep]

Let's see, I once spent around 20 hours on a layover in amsterdam. I had been living in student housing in Moscow, and it was so amazing to be somewhere so clean! I rode around on trams, went to internet cafes, and had a float in a float tank. The Beguinhus was interesting, if you like that kind of thing.

Usually, after a quick "Spraaks du Hollands?" they switched to english...

[kristin]

your brown crayon comment has me laughing so hard i can't type. it's the perfect description of jet lag.

[savia]

Naps are fun.

[maia]

just delurking to say:a) i feel your pain with the cold thing.b) but having checked, it's nowhere near as cold there as it is here, so instead of feeling your pain, i'm feeling my envy.c) i spent the better part of yesterday reading all of your archives because when i find something i like, i tend to obsess.d) if voting for the bloggies was still open, you'd have mine. thanks for making my weekend.*insert non-cheesy smiley emoticon here*

[Mary]

I wonder why the Bloggers in Amsterdam people chose to send the bloggers over there in the middle of winter. I'm no marketing genius, but I understand the value of a world filled with tulips, pleasant bike rides down warm cobblestone streets, long afternoons spent in outdoor cafes smoking special cigarettes and drinking beers before getting back on the bike to go get some female companionship.

Oh well, I guess you can do all that wearing a down coat.

[kelly]

Oh, Alice! Even in the icy version of hell, you bring the funny. Hope you and Melissa have a wonderful time once the shock wears off.

[Just Linda]

Hell, I scrawl "I like naps" even if I'm writing with a freaking Mont Blanc pen. LOL

I'm already scared to go to non-English speaking countries because of my ignorance of any other language and I have to go to Singapore later this year for work. But everyone tells me they all speak English in Singapore so maybe I'll be okay. Still, what you have described as your experience is right up there with my fear of driving under moving trains...

[Lori]

If it helps....."thank you" is "dank U", pronounce "dunk ooooooo". Really.

[margalit]

Everyone in Amsterdam speaks English. Pretty much everyone. Lori is right, Dank u is how to say thank you. Pretty much everything written in dutch is easy to translate into English. It is the language most similar to english, and it is extremely easy to read. Just read it phonetically. Het is The. It is NOT pronounced anything like it is written, so beware of trying to speak it phonetically. They'll think you're insane.

Have a great time, and drink. I don't drink either, but when in Amsterdam drink a lot of beer and smoke dope. It's legal, so why not. Have your dad try it too! :-)

[Dixie]

Eh, I don't speak a word of Dutch either but I've always done fine because so many there speak English. I think I get a pass on the "And this imp doesn't know a damn word of Dutch!" thing because I speak German too so they get all "Well at least she knows TWO! and it's the same two we usually know as well so we'll let her slide.".

Just a word of warning. Don't eat a tomato in Holland. It's not revolting or anything but Dutch tomatoes are so incredibly tasteless that you'll think your mouth went deaf.

[Wacky Mommy]

And never compare Dutch lang. to German -- you will be in Deep Shit, Rotterdam if you do. (Says the girl who learned the hard way.)

[Betsy]

I heart Amsterdam! I wish I were there, too. Though I've not experienced Amsterdam in the winter, and I imagine that it's not as pleasant as Amsterdam in the summer. But the museums are still going to be nice! When Heather said that it started snowing during her canal ride, I could just imagine how pretty the city is during snowfall.

Have fun! Eat some hash brownies while you're there!

Hey, this is a question I always had... Say that you went to Amsterdam, partook of the legal pot there, and then, when you got home, were subjected to a drug test at your place of work, which you would obviously fail. Would the fact that you had smoked pot LEGALLY make it okay? It's really not something I'm contemplating, being out of college and all, but it was something that I idly wondered about in the days of yore.

[Mignon]

Your nipples suck IN when it's cold? I always thought that happened in the souther hemisphere or something.

[lynne]

Ooo I can sympathise with that cold wind off the canals! I once ended up camping in Amsterdam (there is a cool site 1 mile from the city center) over Easter a few years ago as we foolishly thought we would find rooms without booking.The temperature dipped under zero during the nigth and wasn't much better during the day either. I was just glad to find myself alive when I woke up in the morning (!) I tell ya Nescafe made on a Primus stove with no milk never tasted as good.

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