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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Today my boy, my Henry Jacob, turns eight. Eight! He ties his own shoes and solves complex math problems and can recite entire passages of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid." I...yeah. Words fail me.

But I can't sit around today singing "Sunrise, Sunset" and sniffling into Minty Bear (technically, Minty Bear II). I've got a cake to bake, an apartment to clean (my family's coming over, and you know my mom's going to notice the tumbleweed of cat hair floating across the kitchen) and, most importantly (for Henry) a staggeringly large Lego box to wrap. (This last part will probably take me an hour and cause me to somehow waste an entire roll of wrapping paper, because even though I'm technically an adult, I seem to be missing the adult life-skills I thought I'd have perfected by now, like "wrapping" and "folding laundry.")

(On the other hand, I finally figured out how to snap my fingers! Life list!)

Anyhoo, why don't you take a moment to read Henry's birth story? I mean, if not today, when? It has Dan Rather, and mooing. I couldn't have created a better story out of my imagination. Which is true of quite a lot of things in my life, not least of which is my son.

Happy birthday, Henry. I love you so much it's stupid.

Reader Comments (70)

Eight year olds are terrific. Happy Birthday to Henry and many happy returns of the day!
October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacy
Your child is so cute it's stupid.
October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFranca Bollo
Happy Birthday Henry! Enjoy your legos!
October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachael
As I was reading your birth story, I was trying so hard to muffle the laughter as my husband was working on an important presentation. When he realized what I was doing, he told me not to worry and just laugh out loud if I needed to.....which was likely a mistake on his part as the flood gates of belly-aching, tear-jerking laughter exploded from me as I finished reading that post.Being an L&D nurse, I've seen and heard it all...but you write it in the best and most hilarious way. You are such a talented writer!Thanks for the great laugh.I think I've convinced my husband to read it too....Happy birthday Henry!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCurlyQ
Henry is my favorite sort of Henry. Happy Birthday, shoe-tying, math-problem-solving man.
October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaelithe
Yay! Happy birthday Henry! Love that pic.
October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteraimee greeblemonkey
Oh, man, I just love that birth story. I had read it before, but not since my son's birth a few months ago. And it's even better now, particularly since I could have written the "why am I going to triage?" paragraph. (The nurses in triage were very lacksidasical until they saw that I was nine centimeters dilated.) Thanks for a great read. And Happy Birthday, Henry!
October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin
AH! that picture! that picture! how he looks like you..

beautiful. So.very.beautiful.

Happy Birthday, Henry, you have made your mom and dad happier than they could ever tell you.
October 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandra
Happy birthday Henry. I am currently 1 of 2 working moms (and the oldest, in age and been here longest) at a company that has a few pregnant ladies at the moment. I made them all read Henry's birth story. My daughter Mia's birth story is terribly boring (scheduled C-section, induced labor), so yours/Henry's is the go-to for "you think you know what's going to happen- now read this and let go of your control issues." Lesson # 1 in "Being a Mom means going with the flow!" We appreciate your contribution, thank you:)
October 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren
Perfect post as always. "I love you so much it is stupid" just rings so true to me with my own daughter -- it brought me to tears. Thank you!
October 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJane
Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Henry!
October 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJane
Awwww.....Happy Birthday Henry! What a wonderful tribute to the little man in your life. Made me smile.
October 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth
That is one adorable boy. Congrats on his 8th! These are the golden years! (So says the crazy lady with a 2 and 4 year old.)

October 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill
I loved Henry's birth story. How had I never read that before? How can you even remember all of that internal dialogue and all the details? So much of my kids' births are a blur to me. Happy (belated) 8th, Henry!
October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReid
Happy birthday, Henry! Hope the cake was amazing. Oh, and that no one punctured a toe on a new Lego. (Not that I would know a thing about that.)
October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Happy several-days-belated birthday, Henry! And thanks for pointing out that wonderful birth story, Alice, which is definitely fine reading.

When my now 10-year-old daughter was born, I made raspberry sounds during contractions, unrehearsed. I should try that now when she's explaining to me in the loudest possible terms why the number of chores she has to do is unfairly more than any child with halfway-decent parents has ever had to do.

When my 4th kid, my Henry, was born, my spinal block worked too well and like you I couldn't tell if I was pushing. Someone told me to make grunting sounds. So I would grunt, feel nothing, and they would say, "Great job! He's coming!" It was the weirdest feeling to grunt out a baby--especially after my three previous anesthesia-free labors, where I definitely felt that ring of fire (but thankfully did not hum it).
October 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZina
Amazing what an 8-year-old can accomplish when they start out doing pretty much nothing except keeping you up 24 hours a day. Thanks for linking back to the birth story. When I got to the mooing, I laughed so hard I cried. Happy birthday to Henry!
October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica {Team Rasler}
I would LOVE to paint Minty 1 or 2! Please let me know if you would like a little portrait of him for Henry -- I'd be honored.
October 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Maher
Reading Henry's birth story made me laugh so hard I could only make wheezing noises and then because I'm 31 weeks pregnant, the laughter quickly turned into tears. This apparently is what happens - a good laugh can turn into a sob in an instant (and I'm not even done reading! I just go to the "Who's Molly, sweetheart?" part!! Thanks a lot!
October 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah


June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter资金管理策略

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