Give me your worst parenting stories

I need them. For my mental health.

And no, not the stories of other horrible people messing up—the stories of good, virtuous you messing up.

I need to know that you can be a good parent and still deeply, deeply suck at it, at times. Today, for instance. When I yelled so loudly at my son that my throat still hurts. (Did you know that mittens are an instrument of torture? That socks are painful? Neither did I, until I met Henry.) Thank god I don't have a deadline tonight because I need this glass of wine. And I need to go to bed before 8. And wake up in a few years, when he's able to dress himself.

Speaking of deadlines, a new Wonderland is up!

And now it's time for you to share your Stories of Parental Ineptitude. I know you won't let me down.

Now that I think of it, I'm holding a contest. The Parental Ineptitude tale that amuses me most will win...something. I haven't thought that through yet. My deep and abiding respect? Something like that. I need to have more wine and think about it.

Comments

[DQ]

Here's another one! One of my mommy-friends took her 1yo to the pharmacy to get medicine for him. He was sick. He fell asleep in the car. She left him in there to go in to the pharmacy. Someone reported a child left alone in a car, and when she returned (with excuses like, "the person in front of me had so many questions!") there was a police officer there, writing down her license plate! Her son had awakened and was screaming. She pleaded "first-time parent" ignorance (hello? really?) and so he didn't call CPS on her. She was really educated that day.

We aren't friends anymore because one night we were at their home for dinner, and they (surprise!) smoked some drugs before we sat down to eat. Their 2 kids were sleeping upstairs. I decided that wasn't good enough for me in the parenting department. I'm not being judgmental - I just know I don't want illegal drugs around my family. I didn't think it was so much to ask, until then. She informed me they weren't going to give up the habit. Whoa.

[Charlien]

When my son was 18 months old we were all having a family dinner of about 12 people at my in-law's house, which is across the street from our house. The last I saw of him was he was about to go into the bathroom with my mother. I went into the den and talked with a great-grandmother and my in-laws. 5-10 minutes later, my mother-in-law looks out her front window and yells that there is our son at the top of our driveway. She had opened the front door (which didn't have a screen) for some fresh air. He had walked through the door, across the street and up our driveway before anyone saw him. My heart skipped beats and I felt awful.

So the next morning, as usual, I let our 4-year old and 18-month old into our gated backyard. Only, every other time I have double-checked that both gates were locked, but not this time...

A few minutes later, my neighbor brings our 18-month old to the front door. He had walked out the open gate, down the driveway, and was playing with the garbage can at the curb when she found him.

So if the first incident didn't put me in the running, the second incident surely earned me the title of Worst Mom Ever.

[Bekka]

Just wanted to add, lots of kids without aspergers or autism have sensory defensiveness, or sensory processing disorder. One of the clearest and most common symptoms is freaking out over seams and labels in clothing. As a 20 year old who STILL can't hear birds chirping or wear tight shoes or be around people eating with their mouths open (shudder) or do any of a thousand other things... Have some sympathy for your kids :) On the other hand, there are some great therapies out there for young children with these problems, things I wish had been available when I was a kid.General information:"Too Loud, too bright, too fast, too tight" by Sharon Heller ORhttp://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/

One particularly interesting neurologically developed treatment:http://www.innovative-therapies.com/fastforward.htm

No connection to any of these sites, just someone who grew up with these problems and KNOW how hard it was on my own mom, and how much easier it got on both of us once we knew what was wrong!

[Cindy]

Anytime your name is announced over a PA system, probably not a great parenting moment. I have lost each of my children at least once.

My youngest daughter and I were at PetCo and I was looking for the filter I needed while she looked at the fish. I was caught up searching and next thing I know, I am being paged to the service desk. Apparently she felt lost and found a clerk, clear across the store.

The worst time ever: When my oldest was 18 months old I was shopping (always shopping!) at the Natick Mall in MA. There is a little play area near the food court. It has tunnels and slides and walls all the way around. I was tired so I let her go in and play while I sat in the entrance, figuring she couldn't escape. I thought she was in a tunnel, when I finally went to look, I could not find her at all. Apparently she went up and over the 3.5 foot wall! After about 10 minutes, security found her wandering the food court! I was scared for 10 minutes and horrified for weeks!

[Kelly]

I love you. I love you all! Thank you so much for making me feel so not alone... I think I'm going to bookmark this page.

My story (one of oh-so-many) involves beraking the vaccum cleaner by slamming it on the floor while screaming at my kids to shut up and listen to me.

Why is it so easy for us to remember all the Bad Mama moments, but not the good ones? For me at least. Must do something about that.

[Cindy]

My oldest daughter has a habit of telling me all her aches and pains about an hour AFTER she has been sent to bed.One evening when she was about 9, she was on her way to bed when she stubbed her toe and began to cry. I checked the toe out, it was red, but fine. She whined and whined that it hurt and I offered her ice; she continued to whine. After about a half an hour of this complaining and crying I finally said to her (yelling, of course) "what the hell do you want me to do? I have no magic cure!"

She replied, "could I have a hug?"

I felt just great after that one.

[oops]

We left a new, 8-foot-high, 4 foot-wide,hugely heavy bookshelf unsecured and leaning against the wall in our bedroom. I figured "Don't touch that!" was enough. (She's almost 4, right?)

Yeah. notsomuch. Fortunately, she is fine. But I will never forget the sound of that thing coming down on her.

[annie]

Cindy: Ah, yes - the "Can I have a hug?" line... I know that one all too well! Just hang in there everybody! It does get better. We all survive! Mostly in one piece... :-)

[nonny]

When I was wee my mom parked the car and went to attend to some outdoor chore while my older brother entertained my younger sister, still in her carseat. In the course of this "entertainment," he kicked the car's brake off and sent it toward the hill it was parked near. Sensing imminent danger, he decided to save himself, leaping from the rolling vehicle (I had already vacated the premises) and leaving our sister belted into her seat.

I can't even imagine my mother looking over and seeing the car rolling toward the woods and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Fortunately, the car fetched up against a small tree before going very far over the edge.

[Diane]

I have two, with the same kid.

When he was four, he was not allowed to sleep in the top bunk of his older brother's bed. I was afraid he'd fall out and that was back before safety rails. In the wee hours one morning, I heard a "THUD" and my baby began wailing. I just knew that he'd fallen out of the top bunk, and I was right. I picked him up and cuddled the boy, trying to get him to stop crying. I put him back in bed, doing my best to soothe him. After about a half hour of this, I was frustrated and exasperated. I might have even been getting a little angry since he would *not* stop crying. I finally turned him over and saw the blood all over the pillow. Six stitches in the head, and he was as good as new.

The next time, he was about five. I had both boys with me as I was running errands one busy Saturday. I told both boys to stay in the car while I dropped off some videos. I came home and went into the kitchen and the phone rang. A little voice on the other end said "MOM?" I told the poor little child that he had the wrong number and hung up. After all, MY boys were out playing in the yard. The phone rang again and the same little voice said "DON'T hang up! It's Shane. Come get me!" Fortunately, he knew his phone number. He had sneaked out of the car when I was inside the video store and I didn't see him when I went back to the car. In retrospect, it was tooo quiet in the back seat on the way home. Big brother evidently thought his dreams of becoming an only child were coming true.

[Jean]

My worst parenting story actually happened to me. In the early 70s before seat belts, car seats and portable DVDs, my family (2 parents and 4 kids between the ages of 5 and 9) was driving 8 hours to visit grandma. My siblings and I were very bored and were fighting - a lot. My parents couldn't take it anymore and pulled over on the shoulder of an interstate highway by a mile marker. They kicked us out of the car and told us to run to the next mile marker to burn off excess energy, which we did while they drove behind us on the shoulder of the road as semi trucks and cars whizzed by. We didn't fight after that.

[Spirited Mama]

Whoah. So many. Where do I begin?1. Dumping my 8 month old out of a wheelbarrow, face first, onto the ground (I thought it'd be cute to give him a ride. I was sure someone saw it and was going to call DSS)2. Dumping same child, face-first onto an ice-covered walkway when trying to pull him in an infant sled.3. Freaking out during the "introduction to solid foods" phase and pounding a fork into the countertop repeatedly while yelling. Only later did I realize that I pounded it so hard one tine bent permanently other the next one. It's now a three-tined fork, not four.4. He fell down the stairs at least twice5. After spending five, yes five hours, trying to get him to sleep for the umpteenth night in a row, I slammed a bureau drawer so hard the entire front of the drawer popped off. Cost $40 to fix.6. Leaving the house in a rage when my husband got home, after a very long horrible day of colicky behavior, telling him to deal with it. Got home to find out that 30 seconds after I left, DS had thrown up all over DH and his room.7. The time he tantrummed so hard he vomitted (actually this happens a lot) but this time I swore he was doing it on purpose because he didn't want to go to bed. As I held his little shaking, vomiting body I screeched, "Son of a B*@# he's doing it on PURPOSE, I SWEAR!"

8. During another frustrating solid-food feeding session (where he was screaming and crying and refusing to eat anything, the phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID and knew it was a telemarketer. I *deliberately* picked up the phone to scream at the telemarketer. Told her to go jump in a lake, in so many words. Man, that felt good....can't say I felt too guilty about that one either. :)

[Jen @ amazingtrips]

Well, I'm late coming in on this. But I'd have to say my worst parenting event came two weeks ago when I told my husband that I was so fed up taking care of four children under the age of four, that he couldn't go to work for fear that I would do something to harm one of our three-year-old triplets.

Rather than rewrite the whole catastrophe, I'll direct you to a link I wrote about it last week: http://amazingtrips.blogspot.com/2008/01/anatomy-of-nervous-breakdown.html

Hope it makes you feel a little better.

[Kendra]

Like everyone, I don't know where to begin...my 2 year old then 1 and a half, "drove" his small four wheeler down my parents basement stairs while I was watching TV. I havev never ran down stairs fast enough in my life. I felt so bad and I couldn't stop crying and that made him cry because he wasn't crying from the fall just mommy crying hysterically.

Also the few times that he starts screaming in the car that he wants his drink/cookies/truck/anything that mommy can't reach and I scream at him with a few curse words and my throat starts hurting and I have to turn the radio up to drown out his crying...bad, bad mommy!

[parenting guides]

Once when my son came home from having some minor surgery I left the room to do something and when I came back he had passed out and fallen face first knocking one of his front teeth out. Luckily it was his baby tooth so all is well. I think I just wrote the longest run-on sentence of all time