Good news: I finally learned how to skip!
March 12, 2012Here's the best part: if you donate any amount up to $100 and enter the match code FINSLIPPY at checkout, your donation will be matched. Doubled! It's like magic. Thanks to DonorsChoose.org, I can match up to $50,000. That's a lot of help to a whole bunch of worthy, struggling classrooms.
I'll be participating in the Challenge for the next two weeks, during which I'll be posting embarrassing school-related pictures and/or memories. Brace yourselves. It's going to get awkward around here.
And now... me in kindergarten.
I've never been lovelier!
I don't know what's up with me in this picture. My first grade photo is infinitely cuter. I just look so…rectangular, here. Rectangular, and nonplussed.That haircut is doing nothing for me. Would it have killed someone to put a comb through my hair? It looks like I just endured a vigorous noogie.
Here's my report card, which should be titled, "Lower Your Academic Expectations For This Kid, Mr. and Mrs. Bradley."
Full name and address? N.
Telephone number? N.
Ugh. Ability to tie shoes? N.
Ability to work independently? N.
Can skip/jump/hop without breaking something? N.
Can she color in the lines, for the love of God? N.
You know what stings the most, though? That "S-" in "works and plays well with others." Ouch. It's like it's code for, "Well, technically she can get along with people, but she's kinda whiny."
I remember very little about kindergarten, but what I do remember was unimpressive. I got into trouble for blowing bubbles in my milk carton during snack time. Also for eating some paste. (Minty!) I can't even remember my teacher's name. N to you, Teacher Lady! N TO YOU.
S+ to all the teachers on the DonorsChoose website, on the other hand, for their passion and enthusiasm. Please pitch in!
Tomorrow: first grade. In which I am toothless.
Reader Comments (25)
honestly, the fact that you were not willing to give out your address and phone number orally should have shown that you were a smart cookie back then. you didn't want someone calling your house at all hours of the day or night or just showing up. you were just ahead of the curve with personal security. i'm convinced you knew your address, you just weren't telling.
14 days absent? Holy cow. No wonder you had a couple of challenges.
And the whole thing is proof that who we are in kindergarten is no reflection on our eventual success.
Whenever I try to skip, to this day, I still end up trying to break something. Haha. You're doing good if you just learned how to. :)
Bershon at five! That photo is spectacular.
When I was 5, I was enrolled in a ballet class, ostensibly to "help" my 3-year-old cousin, for whom the class (aimed at 4-5 year olds) might be a bit much. Ha. My cousin was a natural who went on to perform in the Nutcracker Suite in junior high, and who, even though she's 30-something and pregnant now, still has the bearing of a dancer.
I, on the other hand, was the only one in class who had a hard time with skipping (to this day, I mutter step-hop-step-hop whenever I'm called upon to skip), and who, once the class was finished, would walk the downstairs slowly, moving both feet onto each step before moving to the next and hugging the bannister the whole time.
That S- really is the best part of the whole thing.
I can already sense that your posts over the next two weeks WILL BE AWESOME.
I remember getting a 'N' for cutting on the lines on my kindergarent or 1st grade report card. After school, my babysitter drew a bunch of shapes on paper and made me practice, it was horrible! To this day, I have an inability to cut on the lines....
my kindergarten teacher was the Worst Teacher EVER. She spent half the year on the payphone in the hall. She spent her time in the classroom eating rice cakes (ew, but crunchy! and you don't know they're gross when you're five!) and berating all of us for various reasons. Me: Because I did not know right from left and SERIOUSLY OMG it took me until the end of the year to figure it out. my BFF: she could not tie her shoes. I secretly taught her how to tie them with bunny ears during naptime one day because after naps was the shoe-tying test in front of the whole class (!!) and she was horrified that she was going to get in trouble AGAIN for not knowing. Teacher told that girl's mother she was so dumb, she would never graduate HS. Said friend is now an asst US atty. another friend: Teacher told her mother that she was clearly extremely disabled (I believe she used some extremely non-PC terms but I am not certain) because she did not answer to her name when attendance was called. OH YEAH- said friend was significantly hearing impaired and had been compensating so well her whole life, nobody ever knew. Kindergarten: Not my favorite year (though that teacher gave all of us a lot to talk about on facebook.)
Second grade though, THAT was a teacher. sigh. I would give her a million dollars if I could.
I love this.
N to you! N to youuuu!
This is now a part of my lexicon.
I hate to break it to you, but I don't think that was kindergarten, I think you were working in a warehouse.
I think you should use your large and small muscles to Google this "teacher" and mail them your writings, blog, and some of your art. "S- THIS <rude gesture>."
Dianne, I'm betting she's dead. I have exacted the ultimate revenge: outliving!
Hmmmm... This is my 35th year teaching kindergarten. I wonder what is being posted about me somewhere! LOL Seriously, thank you for reaching out to students. My school district does not allow us to use DonorsChoose any longer but my current students continue to benefit from the materials I have received.
Nothing witty to say, just like to see someone I follow doing something nice. Usually gets me off my rear to do the same. Thanks for that.
You are cuter than me when I was in kindergarten.. but I am smarter because i
received honor which is Most Industrious ;)
love your pic!
(Long time reader, first time poster, etc. etc. etc.)
So, it's because of people like you and your S- that people like me had to deal with the O(utstanding)/S/N system in elementary school. I think Outstanding is a lot for a 5 year old to live up to...
Love this Challenge. Can't wait to see the rest!
I love this because my sibs and I have all our old school photos and report cards too. It delights me to no end to see how teachers saw us as young'uns. If I could turn back the hands of time I would advise you to smear the paste on paper instead of your tongue: that might have brought the N in "shows coordination of small muscles--pasting" up to an S. Woulda coulda shoulda.
Did you notice your lowest grade? Apparently you do not play well with others. Love this. Do you just go to the website to get involved in this cause?
You're killing me today, Alice.
"N to you, teacher lady. N to you."
I beg: a memoir, please, This isn't enough for me.
I can already tell I"ll need to up my meds when this 2 weeks worth of childhood posts is gone.
Already, I can feel it...it won't be a happy day.
My dad always used to say he "failed skipping" in school... My first thought when I saw your hair in that picture was how shiny it was! Isn't it interesting to see what was important to teachers back then?
I am so glad I read this and your prior post together - I love that in first grade you got an "N" in fine motor skills/drawing...and look at your amazing drawing abilities.
It is a great reminder to me not to pidgeon-hole my own children or think they won't be great at something just because they're not amazing at it when they're 5.
DonorsChoose is a great organization, actually started by a guy I went to high school with. I'm so glad you're using it, and if I wasn't woefully unemployed, I'd give $100 right this minute.
The main thing I remember about kindergarten was my yucky teacher, Miss Jolls; a girl named Laurie Zucarelli whom I thought was beautiful; and this girl named Amy who always used to eat her crayons.
A fellow classmate told me in kindergarten that I was skipping wrong. The drive-bys. They start so young.
What I remember from kindergarten: I was so nervous and shy the first day that, after my mom dropped me off, I hid behind the door (it was one of those with a big window on top) so I could watch what happened without participating. My teacher was very patient and knew I'd come out eventually. Her names was Mrs. Spicknall, and she was amazing. Whenever we did a craft project, she would always do it perfectly, in two minutes. I would try and try but mine never looked as good no matter how hard I tried. Sigh.
We learned phonics that year--WHale "wwhhaa" and all that. We sat at long tables for lunch, and took naps/rest periods afterward on these vinyl mats. The last day of school, we were working in our math workbooks cutting out little turtles--I think we were supposed to be doing basic addition. I remember looking at what was left in the workbook and thinking I was way behind and would never catch up.
Kindergarten marked the first and only year I attended a private, religious school. I don’t remember the name of the school, Tabernacle of Eternal Damnation or something, but I do remember that our classroom was co-educational; I was thrilled that I could sit by BOYS. During naptime, Adrian Delgado and I would snuggle our mats up against one another and furtively hold hands under a shared blanket. One day, Mrs. Starks caught us and told us that Jesus would make our hands rot off if we didn’t stop clasping them with those of the opposite sex before we were grown-ups. It was a chance I was willing to take, but Adrian apparently wasn’t ready for that level of commitment. The next day, he moved his mat ALL the way over to the other side of the classroom during naptime. In retaliation, during out-loud prayer time, I loudly asked Jesus to forgive Adrian for being a booger-picker. I don’t think it was true, but who knows? Maybe it was. At any rate, I was standing in the proverbial salvation gap for Adrian; I was proving my hand-holding worthiness. Still, he was unmoved. We never held hands again.