Heading out

Oh my god, I am getting on a plane in 6 and a half hours! Which means I'm leaving for the airport in one hour. Naturally.

When I was flying around the country with Eden, she was dismayed to learn how early my anxiety disorder required we get to the airport. Eden can be alarmingly mellow/sane when it comes to terrifying details such as "scheduled departure times." I would like to be at the airport the night before, if at all possible. Fortunately this time I am traveling alone, and have no one to torment but myself.

I'm really not a fan of flying. Not just the hurtling through the air in a screaming death machine part: the whole process. The packing. The boarding pass-getting (will I do it wrong? Probably.). The panicking on the way to the airport because the cab/train/subway is taking longer than I think it should take. The double and triple-checking that I'm in the right airport/terminal. The long, arduous security line. The possibility of being manhandled. The idiotic shoe-removal. The waiting around the gate for two hours because God forbid I don't get there super early. The purchasing of overpriced snacks and magazines. The visiting of every restroom in the airport, because when I get anxious, my bladder goes into overdrive.

But then I'll be in San Diego! So that's fun. If you're attending Blogher along with me and the 40,000 other people, I'll be at the Mastercard BillMyParents booth on Friday, from 9:30-10:30 and again from 2-3. Copies of our book will be on sale there, and we'll be signing 'em! So please get over there and at least say HELLO, for the love of--really, what will it take, with you? I'm leaving Friday night (to join my family at Legoland for the weekend), so this will be your ONLY CHANCE to luxuriate in my presence. I hope I get to meet you. And you, and you. Okay, you too.

Comments

[Jessica]

I have a slight anxiety about getting to the airport with enough time. Not anything out of control, just a little urge to be there early so I can be assured that I have enough time. The last time I flew, my boyfriend did not get up early enough to get me there on time. I was 10 minutes late and I was so lucky that my flight was delayed and the flight attendant let me check in. But I was also a little annoyed with her, because she told me to run and hurry through the checkpoint, then took her time to go back there and check us all in at the gate.

[Louise]

You have just described every experience I have ever had at the airport. I am habitually early and perpetually anxious about every detail. I expect to be arrested at any moment for not doing something fast enough to suit the TSA people. I hate everything about flying. HATE!

[highlyirritable]

Sweet Jesus.

If there's one thing I'm afraid of more than flying, it's those colourful plastic building bricks. I've stepped on, sat on, and slept on enough of them to cause a partial nervous breakdown at the mere mention of the damn things.

Me? I'd save the Ativan for Legoland.

[dusty earth mother]

Funny. I'm sitting in the airport in Phoenix, delayed by THREE HOURS trying to get to BlogHer and reading your post about hating to fly. I will stop by and say hi (I already have your book, but heck, one can't have too many of your book...books... uh... whatever), if I actually get there by 2pm tomorrow. You chuckle. I do not.

[Mother Ruckus]

The only thing worse than flying solo is flying solo with children! Trust me! The airline security people show no mercy for women and babies.

http://motherruckus.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/planes-trains-and-automobiles/

[lori]

i have similar anxiety and bladder. (prelief and d-mannose help the bladder, a little) me & my organs feel less alone, thank you.

[Church Avenue Chomp]

Hey Alice,
Have a good trip! I just read your lice debacle. I'm sorry. There's nothing like an infestation in your home; I can unfortunately attest to that. And I have never once seen my mother more furious or defeated than when I got lice for the second time, which was pre-pantene and pre-pro-comb. My hair was down to my feet almost. It's pretty much her fault for not shaving me. See you around! Meredith

[The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful]

Hi Alice -- so sorry I missed you at BlogHer. I arrived six days early and went to all the party venues and session venues and waited sooo long that I finally just fucking gave up and went home. But I do look forward to accosting you at next year's Blogher, which I'm leaving for tomorrow. Still have to pack. xo

[Martha Bangs]

Thanks for the book! It was cool meeting you...I was the one girl with the short brown hair. Remember?

[Short Fat Dictator]

Glad you overcame and made it to your booth. Seeing you was a Blogher highlight!

[Summer]

And THIS?!? Is why I love you so. We are SO the same. Anxiety issues and all.
Only I have no sympathy and I attack the MOMENT you step into the hotel. =) I'm classy like that.

Thanks for being hilarious at the lunch, charming at the table...but mostly, thanks for writing that I smell like heaven.

xoxo

[Alexandra/Empress]

And luxuriate I did.

You are bad ass, Alice.

ALSO: WTF? 325 comments on lice and only 12 on "come meet THEE Alice Bradley?"

This country, I tell ya.

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