I am good at some things but not others
January 5, 2012Oh, you guys said some lovely things about my sketch-paintings. Thank you! My heart is warmed. Now I have Hot Heart Syndrome. The doctor said I'll be okay, as long as I'm not startled or upset, ever.
So listen, I would love to illustrate whatever, but I can't draw anything that isn't right in front of me. This is my terrible secret. Seriously, I have no visual memory. I can't even really picture what an elephant looks like right now, much less draw it. (It's gray! And…and looks like a briefcase! Wait, no, that's wrong. Four Ionic columns and a cloud?!) If I were to illustrate, I'd need to see everything I needed to represent. This could get tricky for, say, a children's book. "Listen, I'm glad you want me to illustrate Mr. Wubs and the Tricky Mubbles, but unless you get them all to my apartment and force them to stand still, I really can't do business with you. Yes, the Mubbles too. I understand they're tricky. Not my problem."
The End.
Changing the subject awkwardly: On Christmas day, my parents gave me a pair of warm mittens. They are adorable, in addition to being warm. (It was not the only gift from them. My parents are nothing if not overly generous.)
ANYWAY, after we were done gifting, my mom said, "By the way, the mittens came with a hat, but I think there's something wrong with it." She showed me the hat, which appeared to be perfectly acceptable and something I would happily place on my head.
But then I tried it on:
"You see?" she said. "I don't know why it looks so goofy."
"I can't see," I said. "I'm so confused. Everything is dark. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME." I stumbled around and my mom laughed a whole lot. I suspect this was a Christmas gift to her.
And then my sister walked in and said, "Yeah, you have it on backwards. Also, don't tie it, oh my god."
RIGHT.
This reminded me of this one summer in college when I worked as a bank teller, and I was terrible at it, just awful, and a fellow teller said to me, helpfully, "There are different kinds of smarts. You have book smarts. You just don't have…life smarts."
It took me this long to discover that I also don't have hat smarts. At least in this case I can blame my mom.
Reader Comments (34)
I have been told similar things (about the not-having-life-smarts, I mean). In some cases, I take it as a compliment. The rest of the time, I figure it's just the reason why I'm not a lady of leisure shacked up with Johnny Depp or George Clooney (I'm not really a huge Clooney fan, but he lives in my favourite place on earth, Lake Como, so I'm willing to adapt).
I spent about 15 minutes trying to clean my dad's cheese grater over Christmas and was cursing (my dad wouldn't approve, but he's pretty deaf now so I can say what I like) at how SMALL the hole to put your hand in was when my 7-year-old daughter (7 YEARS OLD!) came in, looked at me and asked me why I didn't turn it round and clean it from the other end. Of course, she was right. But I hadn't thought of that (of course I hadn't. And I hadn't even had any Muscat de Rivesaltes at that point) so had to come up with a nice, wordy explanation as to why I couldn't. Book smarts, you see? You can wordblind everyone around you so they can't (always) see your lack of life smarts. Still no Depp or Clooney, however, so my technique clearly isn't perfect.
By the way, you look cute as a button (cuter, actually, because most buttons aren't much to look at) in the hat. Oh, and I also can only draw things in front of me. This gave me excellent "still life" and "life class" grades at school, and crappy "free composition" grades. And is why (along with the book smarts) I didn't become the interior decorator I dreamed of and have become a translator instead.
OK. Time for that Muscat now (funnily enough, it's often time for Muscat I find).
That hat is great, and thank goodness for your (sensible) sister!
I commented last time that my aunt was an artist. I don't know if she did any of her paintings straight out of her head, but I do know that many of her paintings came from photographs of things - and then she took artistic license and combined multiple photos. So who cares if you can't draw things that aren't in front of you? It doesn't make your art less attractive. Don't put yourself down. Except for the hat thing - if your sister doesn't make fun of you and your mom for that, she's slacking in her sisterly duties.
Aw, a, I'm not trying to put myself down! Just pointing out why I can't, you know, illustrate. Or maybe I can! Who can say.
I understand; I also lack hat smarts (my interpretation of visor-wearing always ends up with my hair sticking straight up). Shoe smarts too, if I'm being honest. And my greatest regret: I lack M&M Smarts -- I have a hard time telling which is what kind if they're all mixed together in a bowl.
Luckily, my parallel parking smarts have NEVER let me down. It's the little things, sometimes.
well, it's a good thing you know me, because while I don't have book smarts, life smart AND hat smarts I DO have. (god has truly blessed me, i know this.) And because I have hat smart, let me just say, you MUST wear that hat every day. It's simply amazing on you.
Tricky Mubbles? Hat smarts? Oh, how I love you.
I love the hat! I rarely look good in hats, that one suits you. But going to your other point, I'm exactly the same. I am really good at drawing, especially people's faces, but only if I can, well copy, the thing/face. I can barely even draw a stick person if it's from my mind! Oh well who ever said we needed to be superwomen?
Andrea
The Coach Outlet Store really has it right, "Our children are like the crop and their wrong behaviour is like the pest." I'm writing that down.
You'd think I would be excellent at keeping a sketchbook, since it was a requirement at art school, but no. But you make me want to try again.
Ps, and so, what happens if my response is on my own website? That's a... thing, is it?
I love your illustrations. Your dog must have had to take a really long pee.
I like it better backwards. It has a certain Amelia Earheartness
I got one of those animal hats for christmas. A bunny. I regifted it to my daughter and she looks ADORABLE in it. I just couldn't pull off adorable.
Ha! This reminds me of one of the chapters in A Visit From the Good Squad where a disgraced publicist is hired to revitalize the image of a hated dictator. One of her first orders is to have him wear a hat like this but to cut the ties, but he doesn't listen and ends up in the newspaper with a picture in the hat but with a bow underneath his chin. This causes cancer rumors and his aides are greatly displeased. She keeps going, "I told you to cut the ties!"
At least you know that the lack of hat smarts is genetic. It looks adorable on you, once you have it turned the right way. And so what if you can't draw something unless it's in front of you? I can't even do that, so you're way ahead of me. (Although I'd like to think I would have figured out about the hat.)
Pffft.
Hat Smarts are overrated.
We all know booksmarts are where it's at.
I am amused by the post below that says to 'stop by and tell me what you think' but then does not offer any mechanism whereby to tell us what you think.
Here are some things I think: I think the hat looks fine because you have to remember that when you are inside hats look ridiculous but when you are outside hats look OK because we are all cutting each other slack in our dumb hats. The purpose becomes quite apparent because we are all mutually cold and don't judge. So go ahead and tie it.
I think that writing blog is really darn good. Too good for Babble I might almost say but I won't because that's just mean--that's a mean thing to say so I won't say it.
I forgot the other things I was going to say. I enjoyed looking at your sketches. I hadn't thought to get myself a sketchbook but now I'm going to.
Oh oops: I didn't actually mean 'does not offer any mechanism whereby to tell us what you think'.
I meant: There's no place to comment. But that's OK! It's probably better even.
You look fabulous in that hat! And I would wear it backward on colder days.
you do, however, have poetry smarts, because this:
"Four Ionic columns and a cloud"
is poetry.
Snozma. You are cute. What thing did I write whereby I tell you to comment and there is no place to do so?
Oh, wait, now I get it. But you're supposed to comment over there! YOU CAN COMMENT OVER THERE!
you are adorable in that hat!
(caveat, I have read no previous comments) Whoa I suffer from the same condition of "I can't illustrate just from my imagination, I need to see it" And I have a fine arts degree (not that that means anything, but it's my career). When I started out in illustration/design ages ago, I would be so paralyzed by fear that "I can't do x", not only in illustration, but starting in general. The best advice I ever read (can't remember where) was just to start. Stop freaking out/worrying that it won't be good enough (or that you can't do it. Alice, you totally can. And do.), and start somewhere. That gives you a place to change things. No matter how awful you think what you created is, it's a jumping off point to changing what you think needs changing. Best Advice Ever!! Iteration is the key to success, talent is overrated. Art is work! Like being a skilled baller. Those kids don't get in the NBA by sheer talent alone! Skill is what counts, and you get that from constantly working at your thing (and practice!). I'd put good money on the fact you look at your work so long you can't really see it, and something half as good as what you've done that you see, you don't notice "what's wrong with it" and totally admire it. Take a step back, and keep drawing! You're amazing and I want to see more of your work! And take some time to step back and admire your work. (It helps if you look at it half cross eyed and pretend someone else made it if you suffer from the same artistic self loathing I do!)
ha ha "from working at your thing. and practice!" I'm not a writer!