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Let's Panic: The Book!

Order your copy today!

How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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I do what I'm told.

The other day Henry approached me and said, "Put this on your website." He then recited the following:

I am a Cosimi Kawayi. I am a curious sort of beast but smart. I live in the underground arc-Dakota. The Underdorkdakota. We eat fox and bugs and spider webs. Which taste like a sticky broth. We can't stand up but we're good gallopers. My fur is very pointy so the fleas bounce off. There is no space between the hairs. We can step far. We are very good swimmers. We live for six hundred a million and five years old. Seventy two hundred years ago we were half extinct but still in the ends of the dinosaur ages. We were once a simple breed much like humans but related to frogs. Not as clumsy as frogs, able to walk and breathe over water. After the dinosaur period we lived back and studied our old life by doing what happened in our future. So long and farewell.

I am not any less puzzled than you are. And I made the kid.

Reader Comments (73)

I'm afraid that Henry has broken the rules of the arc-Dakota. We live among you - but in secret. I'm afraid we must now find a new planet to study. Damn that Henry!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKerrie
I LOVE kid stories! Next time have him draw an illustration for us!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay
Good lord. HOW old is that kid?
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNG
It makes total sense to me, as my 6 year old regales me with similar tales. Enjoy them. Preserve them. Treasure them. For now, I must strain to hear my self concious 13 year old talk about the girl he adores. And it's no longer me.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRooBear Mom
Get that boy a book deal. I'm hooked.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterzan
He totally has a future in sci fi fiction...
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly
Henry is the funniest kid I have ever not met. Seriously, he's going to be a billionare one day.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJill
A little editing be you have the next Star Wars or Harry Potter on your hands! Awesome!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarmaid
If I squint really hard, I almost GET it.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterall things BD
Get him to draw this "being".

Sounds like a great beginning to his first children's story!

Henry sounds like a neat kid!

May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
I think I heard one of my friends tell that same story once. Then they laughed and licked the cheeto cheese off their fingers. And then took another hit.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterliz
With that kid's imagination, I'm not sure you want him writing the family history later in his life.

What a storyteller!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie B.
It has a sort of lyrical, somewhat poetic beauty to it. I think it's great it's been written down. You'll love reading it together 20 years from now.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendyPinNJ
so, when do we get part II?
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan
NOW I know who writes all those random-word spam emails that I get. It's been your kid all along.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkate
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he'll get tested for the gifted program. I'm particularly fond of this concept: "...we lived back and studied our old life by doing what happened in our future." I think they did that on Dr. Who once.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhi kooky
Henry is awesome. I so hope my kid turns out like him. lol!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy
henry is a curious sort of beast indeed!a precious precocious one!
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertara
I believe it's known as "oracular" speech.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLPC
...we lived back and studied our old life by doing what happened in our future.

Is Henry a writer for LOST by any chance?
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy
i would read that book. except for the "underdorkdakota" it totally sounds like some obscure sci-fi that i might have studied in college.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstefanie
I think that *possibly* an alien life-force has taken over his body and is using your blog to transmit warning messages to us. Now if we could just figure them out enough to heed them. Or maybe they're just messing with our minds to make the take-over that much less trouble for them.

Your kid is a friggin' genius.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKirsty
Is it wrong that I followed it, and think I got it? And that I hope he someday writes a story about the Cosimi Kawayi? Because he's got something there, maybe some good sci fi...
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThumper
Oh. My. Gosh. He is the definition of AWESOME.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValerie
That might explain why I don't look like my parents. Ask him if there's an (800) number or an chairperson I could call to get more information.
May 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCat

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