I leave for one week, and my son turns into a twelve-year-old.

Henry: My shoe feels funny.

Me: Do you want to take it off?

Henry (sighing): I'll live.

*

Henry (sniffling): I'm not going to camp anymore. I'm staying in bed until I'm ten.

Me: Let's discuss that tomorrow, shall we?

Henry: Tomorrow I'm going to remember this crying fit. And I’m going to remind you that we agreed I could stay in bed.

Me: Good night.

Henry: Until I'm TEN.

*

Henry's friend Sofia: (nonsensical babbling about something or other)

Henry: What?

Sofia: I know, right?

Henry: I didn't say "WHA??!!!", I said "what."

Comments

[Jen E]

LMFAO. That's adorable. I'm strangely jealous - like wanting my 2 year old to hurry up and grow up, while also thinking "STOP GROWING! STOP IT! WHERE DID MY BABY GO?" haha

[Taylor]

You know, of all the fake internet people with kids that I know, yours makes me laugh the hardest.

[SuburbanCorrespondent]

Nope. If he were 12, he wouldn't be talking to you.

[Miss Grace]

The tone with which I picture Sophia saying, "I know, right?" is unbelievably priceless.

[Anne Prince]

Clearly, you can tell that Henry spent a week along with Scott from his first comment - LOL!!

[Cara]

That is too funny! Every night I say to my baby (who actually is still a baby), "stay little, stay little." I am so not ready for all of that big kid stuff.

[Trish]

Oh. My God. That's hysterical.

Evidently, he also turned into a Jewish mom in that first one. Can't you just hear it? "I'll live...God fahBID you have to be inconvenienced. Bettah my foot should fall off..."

(also said in the best NYC accent)

...maybe in a previous life..?

[Drew]

These snippets are so sweet and fun. The "I'll live" comment makes me picture Henry as a 50+ lady who should have lived her life instead of regretting she didn't do it. Fantastic.

[A]

Hilarious!My favourite? "I didn't say 'whaaaa?!' I sad 'what.'"Adorable.

[dianne]

That is so motherfucking sweet...

Time: Last SaturdaySetting: Previews for "Wall-E" -- some upcoming film having to do with a Little League team of Mexican boys ... White men making racist, ignorant comments to/about them.

My 7-year-old companion: (waves hand dismissively and stage whispers) I hate Americans.

[MotherhoodTheUltimateSurvivor]

I just got back from a week at the cottage with my 16 year old niece.....now there's some FUN!!! Although I do need to tape record her rant for "Everyone to JUST SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO SLEEP" at 8:30 a.m. as it managed to get my two boys, ages 6 and 4, to stay in bed every morning cowering in fear of retribution

[Wendy]

In your world Henry says, "I'll live."

In my world Noah and/or Tessa say, "OH MY GOOD MY FOOT IS KILLING ME! I'M GONNA DIIIEEEE!!! LIKE THE POOR DOOOOOGGGG!!! GET IT OOOFFFF!!!"

Can I just come be you for a little while?

http://notesfromthesleepdeprived.blogspot.com

[Gray Matter Matters]

Jen E. nailed it. I couldn't wait for my son to be a toddler, then a school kid and now, at 8, I'll turn to him and say "Stop growing up, I forbid it." His response, "I'm gonna keep growing until I die. And you can't stop me." Fair enough.

[Ally]

Ha! Henry rocks.

[Jen]

How did Henry channel my mother? By goodness, Alice, I come to your blog to get AWAY from reality.Love the post, would also love to hear some Blogher love, please.

[Beth]

That last one is killing me. Dead.

[HouseofJules]

SO good! Henry is the best! He & Sofia sound like an old married couple.JulesHouse of Jules

[Rachael]

Oh my gosh, too funny!

[Mom101]

At this rate he'll be what, 35 when he's twelve? The good thing is: Far more earning potential. Also he can drive you to the store.

[Elizabeth]

You don't say how old Sofia is, but for some reason her saying "I know, right?" to Henry just cracks me up! Great to meet you this weekend!

[MissusB]

If Henry is 12, he can laugh at jokes with my husband. You know, jokes about poop, butts and boobs.

[jaelithe]

The same thing happened to me. I called my son while I was gone. Normally he calls me Mommy, right? Cuz he's four. But when I called him, he said, "Hey, Mom. I don't miss you."

I leave for four days, and suddenly, I'm no longer Mommy. I'm Mom.

*sniffle*

[judy haley (coffeejitters)]

how do they grow up so fast???

[Jenn]

Oh wow, that is so funny! What an awesome kid.

[Mauigirl]

One day while you were away we came home and Henry was in the back yard playing with Sofia so we waved hello and said "Hi Henry!" Henry then very formally introduced us to Sofia, saying "Hi, this is my friend Sofia!" So we said "nice to meet you, Sofia!" as if we didn't already know her.

Henry is priceless.