I love Schmutzie.

There are many whose blogs I love, and there are some whose blogs make me love them. Schmutzie is both.

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Schmutzie is in the bath tub, heading into her second hour, when the Fiery One enters the bathroom holding an apple core.

Fiery: Would you find this disgusting if I put this apple core in your bath water? It would be like having garbage in your bathwater!

Schmutzie: No, not really. It's only fruit.

There is a splash, and the water dousing her magazine startles Schmutzie.

Schmutzie: What the hell are you doing!?

Fiery: The apple core is in your bathwater! Aren't you grossed out?

Schmutzie: No, it's still just an apple.

Fiery: Oh. Well, I would have been grossed out.

The Fiery One picks the floating apple core out of the bathtub and leaves to throw it in the trash.

My husband throws garbage in my bathwater. We call that a sense of humour around here.

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Her blog makes me happy. Whether she's being hilarious or not hilarious at all. Just because she calls her husband The Fiery One, don't you wish she lived right next door? I wish she lived right next door.

The Fiery One's blog is also quite excellent. Behold.

Comments

[honestyrain]

well now i have never met this person nor her fiery one. i will go now. i like to be made happy. happiness is lovely.

[honestyrain]

i take it back. have met them both. was dellusionally confused in previous comment. please ignore.

i like them both. they are fab.

i just said fab. how absurd is that?

[Belinda]

Thanks for the tip, this is great! Although he obviously KNEW the difference between an apple core and actual disgusting garbage, or he'd be in big trouble.

[MFA Mama]

Wow, hell yes I'd like to have her live next door. Except I wouldn't wish my neighbors on anyone. "The Fiery One..." love it! Now I feel stupid for being a lame-ass anon blogger who calls her husband Husband. At first I thought it was witty in a minimalist kind of way, but now...sigh. I will never be one of the cool kids. Thanks for the recommendation!

[schmutzie]

I am the quintessence of blushing now. Gosh. Thanks, Finslippy.

[MFA Mama]

OH...and how funny is Google? They have all of these "Detox from Percocet" and "Get Help With Addiction" ads running on your site now...that's even better than when I wrote about my lactose intolerant children and had Lactaid plastered all over me for days. You have become Google's poster girl for addiction! That beats lactose intolerance hands-down.

[roo]

I like schmutzie too.

[palinode]

I'm solidly behind the "I Love Schmutzie '06" campaign.

[clickmom]

If anyone in this house threw an apple core into my bath (as in the sacred shrine of my cleanliness- thou shalt not disturb!) I would not handle with grace or humor.

Fiery One is lucky.

[Lala]

"I love Schmutzie '06" Hell yeah! But I loved her in '05 and '04 too. Can I get a magnetic ribbon for the back of my car??

[lis]

Do you have Bathwater Trash T-shirts, Schmutzie? Because I'd buy one. I bet they'd sell better than vote for pedro.

[Lynn]

How strange. I just visited Schmutzie's site for the first time, and I was really taken with it. Then I come to your site in a completely unrelated blogging excursion, and you are talking about Schmutzie. What a small, small blogging world it is. I wish you both lived right next door.

[TB]

Yay for Schmutzie. She is awesome, no?

[KA]

Thanks for introducing me to these very interesting blogs. I have bookmarked them.

[mathew]

i believe the fiery one's recounting. it is obviously the more believable of the two.

[sweetney]

schmutzie, you are now just BATHED in love. SLATHERED, one might say. like a juicy pink hot dog of awesomeness dripping with irony.

so says i (too).