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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
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Let's Panic

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« No one told me it would be like this. | Main | Back me! »
Friday
Feb162007

I love you.

DateFebruary 16, 2007 Comment38 Comments

I had no idea just how little effort I had to put into a post to get a response from you people. You are entirely too generous and good-humored, joining me in my cave-person talk like that. You’re funny, and you smell nice.

Have you ever heard Code Monkey? If you haven’t, you should. It is my gift to you, fellow idiot. And I say that with all the love in my idiot heart.

Hey, did you know that no longer do you have to type in finslippy DOT typepad DOT (oh god my hands are getting tired) com to gain entry to this blog? www.finslippy.com is now the official URL over here. And because the site is programmed to open other URLs in a new window, if you have the original typepad URL in there and you click on the comments, you get a new window, and then you’re all bewildered and lost, and I don’t want that for you; I never wanted that. Change your links to www.finslippy.com today! Or, you know, whenever.

And did you also know that when you live in a town with (relatively for the area) low taxes, your streets will remain unplowed? It’s like off-roading over here. If we make it to the town border, which is luckily a half-block from us, the road are as clean and sparkling as they are in the springtime. In fact, it’s a balmy 65 degrees there, and no one has to work, and the dogs pee lemonade into the cotton-candy bushes. On the other hand, the residents have to tithe fifty percent of their salary to the town elders, and there’s that weekly child sacrifice. Given that, I'll take off-roading and a clean conscience any day.

Also, you probably knew this, and I wish someone had told me: children are expected to bring cards and treats for their classmates on Valentine's Day. Huh. Well. Henry showed up yesterday with a bag full of candies and hearts, and all I got was a heart full of shame. I mean, I saw it on the calendar, the comment about "bring goodies!" but I didn't believe it. I don't know what words mean, actually. It's sad.

Today I heard the teacher thank one of the parents for the earrings. Earrings? Does this parent know there are no grades involved in pre-K? That earrings aren't going to get the kid a college recommendation? I suppose she was being nice or whatever. I just don't get it. I always think of Valentine's Day as a meaningless holiday celebrating love. I mean, I like the kids in Henry's class, and I like his teacher, but not in that way.

In conclusion, did you know that there’s a new Wonderland post today? There is. Now let's make out.

Reader Comments (38)

.... this is new?

Huh. I was sure I'd been using that address to access your site for at least a month.

anyway, very nice.
February 16, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterfeathered
Sadly, I can identify with the plowless streets. I got stuck in the middle of an actual city street here - ridiculous!

I can also identify with the Valentine's fiasco. I was instructed to bring cards, so was not completely humiliated, but all the bloody over-achievers at my daughter's daycare decided that cards were simply inadequate. Many of them brought treats for the kids in addition to the cards. I wish someone would have warned me that Valentine's doesn't just mean my kid getting to entertain herself by looking at some cute pictures her friends gave her, but that it means wresting various sugary treats away from my violently crying child who suddenly seems a lot like a crack addict who is suffering from serious withdrawal.
February 16, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterandi
This is my first year teaching Kindergarten. I am so anti-party and theme day that I didn't think to hard about it and wore white and brown to school. What? no red and pink?My room parent continues to ask me what I would like for the class party and my response is usually "whatever, and whatever is easy for you. Cookies? is that easy?" My parents (with no reminder from me) sent in many many cookies, juices, candies, cards and heart covered thematic napkins etc.Teachers (not me) at my school get so much swag they need boxes to bring it to their cars. Swag including freshcut tulips, potted plants with a valentine theme, candy candy candy and more candy attached to gift certificates. This guarantees that their five-year old gets the most icingest cupcake and a recommendation letter to Harvard Law. I am so happy to hear that you forgot cards. It means I am not alone.
February 17, 2007 | Unregistered Commenternancy
Dude, your world is awesome. Unicorns and rainbows and puppies peeing lemonade. I'm so jealous I think I'll have to move to New Jersey, too, since it is apparently the promised land (and not, as I had once thought, the Third Circle of Hell, particularly when one is driving and needs to turn around but the roads DO NOT ALLOW IT, there is no way you can turn left and are TRAPPED going the wrong way... Sorry, just a little NJ flashback there. Carry on with the rainbows and such.)
February 17, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie
Earrings for Valentine's Day? Please--they are probably sleeping with the teacher (the parent, not the kid). Be thankful you don't live in our town---we got mostly sleet which is now a thick blanket of ice down our driveway and most of our street. Lovely!
February 17, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Odd Mother
I live in Calgary; a boom city (expensive to live in) and unless it's a major route the snow is never plowed. Ever.

It snows in Canada, eh!
February 17, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterrhea
The learning curve on the first/only kid never gets easier, does it? All the baby stuff that no one told me morphed into all the stuff to expect from my toddler than I never expected, and now school has opened up a whole new arena for me to lag behind in my parenting skills.

I have glommed onto a neighbor of mine who has 2 older children, and I often quiz her on various social and academic expectations of upcoming events at the bus stop. I should have given HER a valentine, now that I think of it!
February 18, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterVelma
I work at an ad agency and we use the "_____ monkey" term quite a bit. Our web developer is referred to as the "web monkey" and whoever gets stuck working on powerpoint presentations (usually me) is the "powerpoint monkey."
February 19, 2007 | Unregistered Commenter_susan
Code monkey like Cheetos. So does mama, so I sent Veggie Tings to school with Perp for Valentine's Day. The ONE item they got that wasn't a one-way ticket to Cornholioville, I'll wager.

She came home with a ton of cards, but I think they were from the older kids, since her classmates are all 3 years old and can't, you know, write. I hope so, anyway, or I totally dropped the ball. Again. I should be used to this by now, right? No? Oh. Okay.
February 19, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNorthwoods Baby
Oooh, I love that guy - especially 'Skullcrusher Mountain'.

"I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please youBut I get the feeling that you don’t like itWhat’s with all the screaming?You like monkeys, you like poniesMaybe you don’t like monsters so muchMaybe I used too many monkeysIsn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?"
February 22, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkaren
Dawn big, warm, fuzzy, secret heart Finslippy for link Code Monkey.

February 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

This is no doubt a game changer, this is huge. I too wonder what this means for seo. Google never ceases to amaze me, this is yet another great idea, I can wait for it to all pan oThis is no doubt a game changer, this is huge. I too wonder what this means for seo. Google never ceases to amaze me, this is yet another great idea, I can wait for it ut.-replica Lukcom watches

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterreplica Lukcom watches
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