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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Sleep Is
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Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

Lets-Panic.com → 

« Rotten fruit from a pretty tree. | Main | The light at the end of the Crazy Tunnel. »
Tuesday
Nov082005

If you’re trying to make me cry, son, you’ve picked a good week for it.

I.

Henry: Do you want to see my happy dance?

Me: Lay it on me, boy!

He holds up one arm like he’s Dracula hiding behind his cape, and then waves the other hand in the air, like he’s Dracula trying to get someone’s attention. At the same time, he sticks his tongue out and rolls his eyes comically, gets up on his toes, and twirls around and around and around. It is, for lack of a better word, spazzy. I clap and clap. Finally he slows down and then stops, panting.

Me: Don’t stop now!

Henry (shrugging): That’s all I have. I have no more dance left.

II.

Henry (eyes filled with tears): My Stormtrooper is lost.

Me (rummaging through one of 10,000 piles): I know it's here somewhere.

Henry (lower lip quivering): No. It’s gone. And there will be no Christmas.

Me: No Christmas? Don’t say it!

Henry (voice cracking): And Santa won’t come. And there will be no presents.

Me (also beginning to choke up): But why?

Henry (casually): Because it’s not time yet.

Reader Comments (32)

Alas, we have no stormtroopers in our house.

However, while in line at Starbucks today my nine-year old daughter remarked, "I always know Christmas is coming when Starbucks puts out their 'Holiday Blend.'
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered Commentermarshatm
The good thing about ads on finslippy is: more posts! So happy about that!
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterkim
Oh, Henry! You are a wee, pint-sized maelstrom of complex reasoning!
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMir
I LOVE the happy dance!
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterSassy
I just had to perform the happy dance step by step at my computer to get a better picture of it. It's almost Shakira-ish in its complexity! But my cat had a good laugh.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterNothing But Bonfires
Wow. He's goooooood!
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterbuffi
Henry, Oh, Henry. Not O.Henry, the writer, or O'Henry the candy bar. You know who I mean! What a guy.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterBelinda
the line "i have no more dance left" is priceless... he is a very deep young man.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterjill
hi, I think this is of the sweetest entries I've read in a while!

The new photo at the top left corner might have a lot to do with that.

Thanks, I think you made my day! Both of you.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterColin Brooks
That's some comic timing the boy has there. There are several ongoing studies to see when children learn irony and sarcasm. I think Henry might make it in to the refereed journal paper at the very least...."Subject 114 appeared to play with concepts and intonation in an almost absurdist way. Other children in his peer group only said 'Santa! coming!'"

Is it sincere? Or is he messing with you? If he's messing with you, that's both frightening and very impressive.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterozma
Please give my thanks to Henry for his happy dance. It worked like a charm.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterroo
Henry is such a gift to you. Drink every minute in.

p.s. I cry all the time. No worries. I think that's what we are supposed to do.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterCarol
Man, Henry is good. The lack of stormtroopers makes the Baby Jesus weep.



November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJenny
Thank goodness for the humor of small boys :)
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterAngel
Well, now we all know NEVER to joke about Christmas with Alice. It's like me and Groundhog Day. Don't mess with the 'hog.
November 8, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterEulallia
I think "I have no more dance left" is going to be my favorite line. Well, until Henry comes up with something else. Your child, he is brilliant. Not really surprised by that, considering his parents.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterDM
Wait? No dance left? Does Henry need a remix? This is a travesty.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterlis
The "but why?" killed me. KILLED ME!
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterEm
Maybe Henry will get some more dance from Santa, when it's time and all...
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterKat
No dance left? Perhaps he should start watching"Ballroom Bootcamp" for inspiration.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth
Henry, the Mommy Slayer

He's already developing a fine understanding of the *white boy shuffle,* truly my most favorite dance, ever.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterkelly
That sounds like quite a happy dance. The visual from your discription made people look at me funny because I was laughing and apparently you're not supposed to laugh at work.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJessie
Aaahhhhh! The cuteness has killed me. I love that boy.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterliz
I think it's time Henry had his own reality show.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterTorrie
So sweet. And that picture up top is about the cutest thing I have seen.
November 9, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

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