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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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Let's Panic

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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« Craving for a tan. | Main | I know it’s a day early… »
Tuesday
Feb212006

I'm back! But now I'm leaving.

I know! I’m all, “I love you, baby,” and then I go and disappear. For a week! No, eight days!

It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just—it’s me.

My mind is not working right these days. I seem to be afflicted with the particular brand of insanity that occurs when you spend your weekends trudging through crappy house after crappy house and then finding the one house you like and then bidding on it and then not getting it and also you’re preparing to leave the country for six days. Wait, where are you going? Denmark? Finland? Close enough.

I’m trying to juggle way more things than a person can reasonably be expected to juggle, and I’m not a good juggler. Really. I have serious coordination issues. Meanwhile I have this little boy here with me whose idea of hilarity is to sing, over and over, “Dinah won’t you blow/Dinah won’t you blow/Dinah won’t you blow your BUTT BUTT BUTT.”

Which actually is pretty funny.

Henry has really had it up to here with me. So what else can you do when you have a crazy mother but insist that you go RIGHT NOW to see the crazy dancers?

And after you’re done admiring the craziness of the crazy dancers, you go to the Egyptian Wing, where you tell your mother all about how the mummies are wrapped-up people who have been wrapped up by other mummies. Or mommies? Unclear.

And then you make a ruckus in the “echo room,” which is actually a room full of Rodins, most of which don’t appear to be enjoying the ruckus one bit.

My next post will be from Amsterdam. Six days without Henry and Scott and Charlie the Dog.

Can I handle it? Will I never want to return? We shall see.

Reader Comments (47)

I'm sorry about the house you didn't get. That happened to us--only house we could afford _and_ liked. But the happy ending is that the other bidders changed their minds during attorney review and we got the house after all. If only we could get rid of the haunting feeling that the other bidders were imaginary...
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMomVee
You're going to love the Netherlands. E-mail me (jessweather at gmail dot com) if you have any questions at all; I lived there for a year and a half so I know pretty much everything there is to know about it - including the language - and I still miss the country and my friends there every day. (I tell ya, if Shrub and his cronies pull one more underhanded move, I'm moving back!)

Also, Henry is my hero. :)
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJess
I know nothing about the Netherlands. But I do know how to say, in Dutch, "Amsterdam is a great city. The women dance with no shirts on." Or something like that. I'm not sure what the actual translation is.

Anyway, keep an eye out for dancing topless women. Now that would be some crazy dancers!
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdoahleigh
Don't lie. I know that's you in the crazy dancer suit.

I like Henry laughing at the Rodin's angst. He's like, "i defy you! there is no angst!" and then he sings tra la la, in the picture moving in my head. It's pretty cool.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterlis
Have fun in Amsterdam!!
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterHeather
The Dinah blowing her butt part cracked me up! Right now that is Hugo's favorite song- now I know why he might find the Dinah part the most intriguing. Ah, little boys.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie A.
Have a great Alice time.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy
The song in our house for this mother who can't juggle (and even if she could, she could not concentrate while her child is singing) is "mary had a little lamb." It used to be "twinkle twinkle". Both of which beat a song she heard on some cartoon, "icky vicky" We don't know anyone named Vicky and I hope we never do, at least not until she has significant superego to resist her id.

(btw I am not new to your blog, I'm just sporadic)
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSue
Have I been asleep at the wheel or something? Because this Charlie seems new to me. Like I have no idea what you are talking about when you mention this "Charlie".

One look at him, though, and I fell in love. What a face!
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterschmutzie
Also, I kick you in the shins for going to Amsterdam. Okay, no I don't. But my inner petulant child does.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterschmutzie
I am sure you will have a great time!
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterTuesday
Have a fantastic time!!!!! You will be missed. (obviously - look at the onslaught already. People already going through Finslippyish withdrawl. It won't be pretty. There will be drooling and rocking.):)Karen
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Rani
Everytime I hear "Amsterdam" I get a vision of a pile of small rodents holding back a large body of water. My brain hates me.

If you're never apart you can never come back together and reuniting with those you love rocks. I actively miss my SO when she's away, wallow in it even, just to make that moment in the airport shine even brighter.

Have a fantastic trip.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCoelecanth
You will never want to return. Have a wonderful time.

Buy yourself some tulips at the flower market.

How big Henry looks now!
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterArabella
Good Lord, that kid is cute. So is the dog.

Looking forward to your return and many exciting tales about Amsterdam.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDM
i love the pictures at the museum. Happy kid, huh?
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterWacky Mommy
So I commented one other time about how I am from Amsterdam, so I just want to tell you again that I hope you have a wonderful time :) Be a bit warned--we are not a, erm, "warm" people. We tend to cut in line. We tell the truth even when it might seem tactless to do so. At the end of the day, however, we are by and large good, sincere, genuine people. Oh, and also be sure to ignore the scary late-night tv. And all the ridiculous stoner alien paraphrenalia that's everywhere in Amsterdam. Close your eyes, and focus on the pancakes. Have fun!
February 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMer
Henry, will you marry me?
February 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAngela
Hey...If I saw Dinah blow her butt, butt, butt, I'd be laughing too. A little four-year-old friend of ours used to say, "Hey, guess what?"And then we'd say, "what?". And he'd shout,"Chicken Butt!". Then he'd say it about 300 times more.
February 23, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterwordgirl
About moving---

How about trying to bid on houses in ANOTHER COUNTRY!!!! Yeah, we're doing that, and it suuucks.
February 24, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJune Cleaver Diaries
This post made me feel so at home. Craziness, little boys and travel, that is what we are all about. Have a great trip. Take lots of pictures and congratulations on your house. That is so cool.
February 25, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCrazyUs
I'm orignally from the Netherlands, though I've lived in the US since I was 7. I've had about a thousand people respond, "oh, I love Scandinavia!" when they hear where I'm from. Don't even get me going...Enjoy Amsterdam, and greet my fellow countrymen for me. I'm not making that trip again until my twins are at least 3.
February 26, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterEmmie

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