It's all right to cry
July 11, 2011
Amazingly, I never sang this song, not even in the raw footage.
Speaking of crying, we dropped Henry off at sleepaway camp yesterday. To clarify: the crying was not coming from him. It was right over here. From me. Specifically, my eye region. Raindrops from my eyes!
I did not, however, cry in front of him, because I knew it would upset him. So for instance, the night before he left when he walked back into the room and I was all red-eyed and sniffly I insisted that I had some crazy ALLERGIES and it was all ALLERGIES SHUT UP, but then he ruffled my hair and blew me a kiss as he walked out of the room, so I don't think I was fooling him even a little bit.
When we said goodbye at the camp (SOB) he was mopey and didn't want to look at us. I was ready to cry right then, but I exhibited some self-control, which was a good thing because we had to return a few minutes later to chat with his counselor. At which point we caught him having fun with the other kids in his cabin. I'm sure he'll be just fine. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the next two weeks. I have to keep re-reading the camp brochure, which lists all the fun activities that are going on there, none of which are "crying because your parents abandoned you in the woods" or "brutal ceaseless hazing."
Reader Comments (44)
Now, I say this with the utmost love and admiration for you:
Boy is Henry ever going to be able to write a bestseller when he grows up.
It is natural for us as a mother to feel that way, but we can't deny the fact that
our kids are growing so fast..
First off, I don't have kids. But, I was once a kid. I come from home where crying was not done in my presence. My parents did not show signs of affection towards each other in front of us either. I caught them hugging in the kitchen once and they immediately separated like two teenagers. As an adult, it took me some getting used to the idea that it's OK to kiss or hug my husband in front of other people. Chaste stuff, not full on make out sessions. I still have a hard time with tears. I admit, there are times when I've just cried in the shower. That's sad. I think it's important for kids to understand that its OK to feel.
And the kid thinks "yay, different stuff is fun", thanks mom and dad!
I'm a single mom of four kids who are now in high school and college so I've shed a lot of tears along the way. I think it's fine to cry in front of your kids as long as you let them know the reason (i,e, mad, sad, my feelings are hurt) and that it has nothing to do with them. Of course I've cried many tears because of them, in front of them due to being overcome with emotion but that makes them feel good and loved. I agree with you that it's important for kids to know how to work through things and be able to express a full range of emotions without shame. Thank you for the Momversaton.
I get that song in my head sometimes and can never remember where it was from, so thank you for reassuring me that I didn't make it up.
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I'm going to be the oddball and admit that I don't cry in front of my daughter. She's 12 and a half, and I doubt she's seen me cry more than three or four times in her entire life. This is partly because I'm just not much of a crier - I'll get choked up at emotional moments, but rarely break down in tears even when I'm alone. And it's also because I remember what a terrifying feeling I always had when I was a kid and one of my parents cried - like, "if mom/dad loses it, then how can they take care of me?" I needed them to be in control of things, including themselves, in order to feel safe. I don't want my daughter to feel like I can't keep her safe, especially because I'm her only living parent, so I don't cry. I do talk about feelings and say when I'm sad, happy, angry, etc., and I let her cry if she wants to, so I don't think she'll grow up repressed.
If it weren't okay to cry in front of your kids, I'd be doomed--I'm one of those who is wired to cry and it's very difficult not to. Whenever he sees the "working through" or whatever, we always talk about it and I think it's good. I want him to know that all that stuff is okay.
I'm crying right now, so much so that my keyboard is shorting out and its getkfjs bligg nomuntin.
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It is not bad to cry. With crying, we only release the deep feelings we had.
A very interesting topic. I do enjoy reading your experiences and I learned many things.
You have a nice blog site, and the content you share, they were amazingly written. It is a pleasure that you tell to the readers your experiences and tips on facing everyday life. Thumbs up.
First and foremost, you had a nice theme design and next; your blog post. It really informs many readers and provides us just the useful and important ideas. Thanks a lot for sharing.
I am touched with your experience and I would say that with crying, you just show your emotions and hurt. It was nice to visit your site.
Very honest and interesting post. I have learned a lot through your experiences. Lessons which I can apply in my daily life especially the importance of every tear that we cried. Awesome.
Tears represent how we really feel and when we cry, precious are your tears especially if it is a tear of joy. No money is worth enough of the happiness you have that made you cry. And if we are sad, there's no wrong in crying, feel free to express what you feel.
Mom's affectionate to his child can be seen through her eyes, through her tears whenever they have to separate for a single moment. This is very inspirational post together with the song.