Learning opportunities are everywhere

Henry and I got on the subway and sat next to a man who was, it soon became clear, mentally unwell. Specifically, he was railing against people who were not there, and using all manner of bad words. So I suggested that we move, and we got up and moved, and that was that. Henry was chatting with me and anyone who'd look at him about Bionicles and I was sure he didn't notice a thing.

A few minutes later he asked, "What was wrong with that man?"

So I went on to explain how sometimes people are sick in their heads, and how sad and upsetting is for them.

Henry: Why did we move?

Me: Well, he seemed agitated, and it just seemed better to keep our distance. Did you hear how he was using bad words? He seemed really angry.

Henry: What are bad words?

Me: You know. Curse words. Bad words.

Henry: Yeah, but like what?

Me: Really, you don't know? Do you not live with your dad? Ever heard him after he breaks something?

Henry (lowering his voice conspiratorially): Is shoot a curse word?

Me: Not really, no.

Henry: So tell me a curse word.

Me: No.

Henry: Would you just say one.

Me: I can't curse into your sweet little face. Come on.

Henry: If you don't tell me what a curse is I'll never know what not to say.

Me: Okay. Okay, FINE. Shit.

Henry (loudly): SHIT? SHIT is a curse word? You say SHIT all the time! You curse in front of me!?

Me: I do not. Your father does. Please get the two of us straight.

Henry: I don't know, "shoot" sounds worse to me. Because it's like guns.

Me: You're absolutely right. Stick with "shoot." Much worse.

Comments

[Sarah]

Kids...i LOVE them! So innocent and so wise! ;)

[TJ]

The mental picture of small person outrage, "YOU CURSE IN FRONT OF ME?" is the most hilarious thing I have read all day and I only hope to horrify my own children so well some day.

[Suze]

Love it :)

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

Mine says "Bam it". I haven't the heart to correct him.

[My Kids Mom]

We had a similar exchange following the phrase "What the..." I asked if some kids used any other word after that phrase. My 6yo got silent and said yes. I pressed a bit and he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Some kids say... 'heck'!" I pulled myself together and calmly explained that even if he didn't intend to use a "bad word" after the phrase, some people might think he was going to, and perhaps he should just avoid the phrase.

[lizardek]

"Please get the two of us straight." BWAHAHAAA! What a priceless conversation!

[Mauigirl]

ROTFL!

[eringremlin]

Ahh, those "teachable moments". Love it.My friend realized she needed to tone it down when her four year old yelled "Green means go, asshole!" when the traffic light changed. Best part- noone was in front of them.

[Chookooloonks]

Okay, seriously. I'm already planning Henry's wedding to my daughter. It will be a formal, yet fun beach affair.

Don't fight it. Just go with it. It'll be easier for you.

[Geek in Rome]

It's easy to tell in our house where our kids get their bad words from. My husband speaks Italian to them and I English and I'm proud to say (well, not really proud) that my son only knows bad words in Italian. I've been able to keep a lid on ejaculating Engilsh ire so far.

So I had to work on mutating his Italian swear words into "shoot" equivalents. I.e. instead of "Che palle" (which is roughly "what a pain in my ass") I had to try to convince him people really said "Che pizza."

Thank god he outgrew it or just got bored with it all and doesn't swear for now. But the day he says "shit" I'll know I'm f#cked.

[Donalyn]

I prefer not to relate the exact details in so public a place, but there was a point in our older daugher's life, when in the course of a casual conversation she was having with my brother, we realized that it was long past time that we cleaned up our act language-wise. My brother will never let us forget...

[noholzbarred]

I was valiantly trying to keep it clean, and so I said "Darn it all!" one day. For some reason, my 3 year old thought that was the funniest thing he's ever heard, and kept asking me to repeat it. Turns out he had it mixed up with his favorite character from Kipper (the little pig Arnold), and so now when he's irritated with something, he adorably says "Darnold!"

[Wren Kelley]

I agree with TJ. "You curse in front of me!?" is the funniest thing I've read all day.

[Jennifer]

You are so funny. I love you!

[Matt]

Really funny. During a discussion about appropriate language, my 6-year-old told me the "s-word" was naughty. The "s-word" turned out to be "stupid."

[Hip Mom's Guide]

Oh, I love that! "Shoot" sounds worse - that's just great. I love them when they're that little and don't have friends who actually USE those words.

[Kendra]

That's a great conversation. And what insight! He's actually right, using a word that means to hurt someone actually should be worse than saying "Defecate!" My husband is the source of all the bad language in our house--mostly. My 3-year-old says "Tartar sauce!" (a la Spongebob) when he's frustrated, or sometimes he mixes up his sources and says "Darn it sauce!"

[Holly]

Okay, somewhere along the lines I got you two mixed up and thought you were trying to get HIM to say 'bad words'. LOL, that would of been awesome!

[die Frau]

I got this from a friend: When my students feel the need to swear, I have them say "Bob Saget!" because he is actually the dirtiest comedian out there (Danny Tanner? No way! It's true). So they'll get something wrong on a test and say, "Bob SAGET!" It works great.

I also love Henry's indignation at your apparent potty mouth.

[Katie]

Boy, you really fell for that one--was it early morning? Before coffee? I admire his approach, that he just needs to know to ensure he never says the words he doesn't know already. HEE. You grow them smart, Alice. And so cute.

[Shannon]

Oh boy - laugh out loud funny, as it is so true. My 5yo is still saying "Damn it!" at varying times, totally in context. I've only said it once (I think), 2 years ago, after the younger one head-butted me in the nose in the middle of the night. I thought she'd broken it (once I could think, that is). Those other times I said it I'm almost positive she was out of earshot.

[Gabriel Gadfly]

This was a cute read. :)

[Stephanie Vance]

It's true, that's really hilarious. We go with the family-friendly curse of H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks. At first, I thought it was lame, but it grew on me. It's so long you feel like you are unleashing a whole string of naughty words. But it really only works as a question, with "What the" in front.

[CraezieLady]

Hilarious!! My kids know all the words (hey, we're liberal with the free speech around here, what can I say!), and at my house the conversation goes a little more like, "Please don't say a**, sh**, d*** or butthole while you're at Grandma's house - she will not think it's funny, and we'll both get in trouble!"

[PB Rippey/sleepless mama]

Very admirable quick thinking on your part!