Luckily, he's not the target audience.
November 14, 2004My parents took Henry for the weekend, bless their grandparently hearts. Today I got to hear my dad expressing his utter disdain for Noggin. You might have to know my father to be amused by the idea of him watching a channel for preschoolers. My dad is a certified smart guy, an MIT grad who reads probably 37 books a day (I exaggerate, but only a little), a man blessed with the intellect of, say, a Lewis Lapham, but without the liver-spotted cranium. The charm of a Walter Cronkite, but with a sliver less good-Lord-is-he-still-alive-ness. The hair of a Phil Donahue, only less so. So anyway. Here he is in our living room, fresh from a Noggin-packed morning with Henry.
Dad: I can’t watch it for more than five seconds without screaming.
Me: What were you watching, exactly?
Dad: [grimacing] Some kind of “big, bigger, biggest” puzzle. Involving a cow.
Me: You realize these puzzles aren’t meant for you?
Dad: And then there was a Spanish-speaking girl.
Me: That would be Dora.
Dad: And her nitwit monkey. He wore boots.
Me: That would be Boots.
Dad: [frowning] And Boots loses his lunchbox by throwing it off a bridge. He’s such a mindless dope that this monkey swings his box around and WAAAIOO there goes his lunchbox!
Me: You really took this personally.
Dad: And then Dora fishes it out with a reel, like that would work. Even if the fishhook could grab the lunchbox, like it wouldn’t tip over and its contents would not simply fall out into the water…
Me: Wow.
Dad: [Shaking his head and downing the rest of his scotch] I tried explaining this to Henry but I don't think he was listening.
Reader Comments (28)
We've made up alternative lyrics, such as "Miffy, the psychotic little bunny, Miffy, the strange little bunny, Miffy, the gluttonous little bunny, Miffy the cantankerous little bunny"-- it's a good vocabulary lesson for the kids!