MANNERS!

Every week at Henry's school they do a different letter, and a few weeks ago it was M week. One of the M words they discussed was Manners.

I learned this during dinner, when Henry asked, "May… I…please have more pasta, please?" He said it like he had just learned to ask for food in Portuguese. It was a distinct change from his usual way of requesting more food, which is to throw his spoon at me and point at his bowl, barking. "So polite!" we exclaimed, and that's when he told us about Manners. Manners is apparently important stuff for peoples to learn, else we become savage-like. Or so he learned us about. It.

"Can you pass the salt?" asked Scott, and Henry raised his spoon and declared, "Manners! You should say may you please pass the salt?"

"Pardon me," said Scott, "Madam, please, would you—"

"MAY YOU."

"May you please pass the salt? Please?"

"I certainly would, sir," I replied, and did so.

"Manners!" Henry cried out in approval.

"Henry, would you like more milk?" I asked him.

"May…I…ask…you—"

"Okay, I don't think that we need to say may I when I'm doing you the—"

"MANNERS!"

"Henry. May I please give you more milk?"

"No, thank you, Mother. You may not give me more milk."

"So 'manners' just means using the word 'may' a lot?"

"Yes. Manners is when you are fancy."

"Okay, are you all done with—"

"MANNERS."

We tried to explain how we use manners all the time, without saying "May I" in every sentence, and how maybe using manners doesn't involve bullying your family, but he wasn't having it.

The next week was N, during which we learned about Napkins and how one is supposed to use them with one's meal. Wha? We explained to him that we already have things to wipe our chins on, and we call them our Shirts. I suppose he'll learn that at S week.

Comments

[SGM]

I kind of have the same problem. When I say sternly "go to your room!" to my 6 year old, he says "not until you say please."

Totally confounds me.

[Shellie]

May I please say whatever the heck I want to to my children?? might be in order.

[punchanella]

you make my life hilarious for like 5 minutes every time you post. outside of it's inherent hilarity, that is.

[Burgh Baby's Mom]

My favorite manners moment (so far) was a few weeks ago at the grocery store when we stopped to buy a balloon for our two-year old. The man blew it up, tied and string to it, and told her to, "Hold this for me."

She YELLED, "Hold it, PLEASE."

Apparently, she can hear the sound of my voice. Who knew?

[Jozet at Halushki]

Oh boy.

Just wait until elementary school when he gets the "drugs talk" and learns that alcohol and caffeine are drugs.

Every time I have my one glass of wine with dinner, my 6 year old starts the long line of questioning about why I need to take drugs, where will she live when mommy is in the gutter with her wine bottle, should she tell her teacher that mommy needs help from professionals....

I can't stand school. ;-)

[cce]

They're so damn literal aren't they? Speaking of manners. A girlfriend of mine stopped to talk to me while driving by in her car, I was out walking the dog. We were having an amusing conversation throughout the course of which I dropped a few f-bombs and various and sundry colorful words. After a few minutes I peeked into her back seat to see her three children all staring at me with enormous oh-my-god-she-has-mouth-like-a-sailor eyes. I had no idea they were back there. They surely got a lesson on cursing on the way home.

[honestyrain]

school - all it does is cause trouble.

[Michelle]

Maybe it will be "quiet" at Q and all you will hear is him screaming "QUIET!" every time you start to talk.

[gila]

Wow--the post was brilliant and the comments are also good. Thanks for the giggles!

[jaelithe]

My three-year-old son says things like, "May you give me some more fruit snacks?"

I have tried and tried to convince him to say "Would" when appropriate, but he insists on using "May" because he thinks it sounds more polite.

[Kat]

LOeffingL... I can't breathe...I'm in love with Henry...

[Jennifer]

Near death by laughter.

I took me nearly ten minutes to read this post because I was laughing so hard I couldn't get to the next line. You are the funniest blogger. EVER.

[Sus]

May I please tell you please that you are hilarious, and your pleasant son, too? Thank you.

[Marcy]

Dear Alice,

I'm taking a brief respite in an internet cafe, my 2 month old son is in the hospital with a UTI right now (not serious, but needs to sta in the hosp while on antibiotics). I figured reading your blog would bring a smile to my face in the middle of thi not-fun situation. I was right. Thanks for the laugh. And thank Henry as well.

A Slightly Frazzled New Mom

[emily ruth]

oh, how you make me laugh...out loud even...thanks:)

[Aimee Greeblemonkey]

May I laugh at your pain, please?

[jody]

Loved the post, (always) but my LOL moment came at reading Lyrics comment and your reply. Too flippin' funny.

[Alice Daood]

Our two year old boy was playing with friends. One of them came over and said, "Can I have dat boo car?" Our son said, "NO TANK YOU!"

[Sara Brown]

Does anyone have a preschool recomendation for the City of San Francisco, I found one great site to search parent reviews, http://www.preschoolpilot.com but can't find any schools with openings!