Marriage!
March 22, 2011-I would really like to figure out this weird chest pain I'm having.
-Shouldn't you go to the doctor? Chest pain seems like a good reason to go to the doctor.
-Well, no, it's not really my chest like my HEART. Maybe it's my lungs? Or my boobs.
-You can't tell the difference between your lungs and your boobs?
-Well, I mean I can in everyday life, yes, but since one area sits right above the other, it's hard to tell which hurts.
-That makes no sense. Your breasts and your lungs are different things.
-Thanks, doctor.
-I mean, just because they're close to each other, you don't know which it is? I can tell the difference between my pants and my testicles.
-So you're saying that breasts are the pants of the chest.
-That's exactly what I'm saying, yes.
Reader Comments (39)
I like husband logic. The other day my spouse informed me that he'd like to swim with sharks because he "knows" they won't attack him. He "just has a feeling" about it. Yeah, I have a "feeling" about it too. Involving blood and chum, buddy.
He is perfect for you.
Wait, which part was you?
I have that same pain! Although sometimes it feels like it might be in/under my shoulder blade too. If you took a knife and put it through boob-chest/heart-shoulder blade -- that would be where it hurt -- just more some places than others sometimes. I also have a really sore muscle? ligament? tendon? that seems to run from back left neck to under collarbone. Don't notice it unless I press there, but then it lights up the whole knife area.
Good news -- have had this forever and am still alive!
Bad news -- Ow!
I love conversations like this. Although I'm usually the one with the "husband" logic fail/punchline.
Wow, look at that chick. She's got a great pair of pants.
That's some flawed logic right there. Breasts are so not the pants...it'd be more like your breasts and his testicals above your lungs and his prostate or something that would be underneath the skin/muscle. I'm sorry I even typed this out now, but I'm too lazy to quit..so submit!
I've always wanted a pair of pants for my chest - now I'm doubly excited to discover that I've been wearing them all along! Alice, I am forever indebted to your husband.....without Scott-logic, I may have never known. I also now know that Scott's pants can feel pain, etc., just like his testicles! Wow. What a pair of jeans.
I'm usually really good at keeping my laugh in while I read your posts at work, but this one was especially challenging. Hilarious!
I have the same conversation with my husband on a weekly basis, and I'm always dying of something or other. Always chest related, too. It's my breast/heart/lungs. I also complain about left arm pain, therefore, dying form a heart attack. That's why I always chew on Asprin. Stops heart attacks or whatever. ;)
Typical man: Doesn't know how much things cost.
I could get new pants much cheaper than new breasts. And thanks to a bunch of kids, I need both.
and cleavage is the plumbers crack.
Classic!
I have that pain too. I think it's from sleeping on my arms, but I've tried 900 kinds of pillows and I still can't stop sleeping on my arms.
Maybe I will try pants.
Were you sitting in my house when you had this conversation? I swear this is dialogue between myself and the spouse almost daily. Hilarious.
hahahhahahahaha! Thank you for this!
I had something similar and had a heart x-ray thingy (name?) done because my dad has a congenital heart defect. It was jabby, stabby pain that came and went with some correlation to exercise, sometimes not, and a heartbeat skipping sensation. Came down to a pulled muscle or just a manifestation of anxiety (my sister had recently died at age 25 from a disease that usually affects 45 year old men, so that was a traumatic time.) Eventually it faded away. Bodies are weird. Helpful, I know.
If it makes you feel any better, I bet if you went to a doctor they wouldn't be able to tell you if it was your boobs, your chest, or your lungs. Well, they might spend some extra time examining your boobs...but only then to tell you there is nothing wrong with you at all. They'd blame it on your head.
I had a similar pain that turned out to be a pulled pectoral muscle. Got my heart checked out just to make sure, though -- knowing is so much better than wondering!
I have totally had that problem before and actually I have it any time I lift weights that affect my chest muscles. I was convinced it was a hernia but my doctor recently said it could be a rib slightly out of its cartilage or something like that. He said to get it x-rayed when I am no longer pregnant. Anyway, hope it feels better. It is hard to distinguish where the pain is at when it's in your chest and there are boobs in the way!
You are all "I had a similar pain" but none of you know what my pain is! YOU DON'T KNOW MY PAIN!
For the record, it is like 1,000 pin pricks, all at once, all over my chest. It comes and goes in twitchy bursts. And really hurts.
THAT. IS MY PAIN.
at least he didn't tell you it was gas. but pants = breasts? really? I guess that makes a little sense...I think mine are more bell bottoms than skinny jeans.
Hilarious, thanks for sharing. And I laughed just (well almost) as much at some of the comments.
As a 32AA, my boobs and lungs are the same also.
..and wait, does he not wear underwear?
ROTFLMAO!!! Thanks for that. I needed a good laugh today. Freakin' SNOW!