Not sorry at all
January 7, 2011Yeah, whatever, so I haven't been here all week. Pfft, like I even care.
Okay, I DO care. Shut up. I can't even pretend with you guys. Getting back to work, and school, and HOMEWORK (growl smash rage), and other obligations that have forced me to get dressed and/or become more or less clean, has taxed my already-challenged brainsicle. But I've almost got this thing figured out! I'm dressed now and EVERYTHING. And it's four o'clock oh shit I was supposed to pick up Henry an hour ago.
Ha ha! He's at a playdate. I mean, I think. No one from the school or the department of child-maintenance or wherever has called me yet, so I assume everything's copasetic.
But look, there are three posts over at Redbook from me this week! I recommend that you read them. Thank you. I love you. Your hair smells like sunshine.
1. In which I write an angry letter to homework. And Homework writes back.
"I know that I can be a challenge! Did you know that the Lenape Indians faced hardships, too? Find 23 things in your home that remind you of the many challenges the Lenape Indians faced, then create physical representations of your feelings using the corn husks you gathered during your dinner which I hope included corn! Show your work!"
2. When your mom's a hoarder. For most of her life, Jessie Sholl hid a secret from almost everyone she knew: her mom is a compulsive hoarder. Her memoir, Dirty Secret, is about growing up with a mentally ill parent, and what it's like as an adult child of someone so troubled and erratic. It's a great book, and I'm not only saying that because Jessie is one of my favorite people in the universe.
3. Plastic surgery: would you consider it? In this post I sing the praises of Tina Rowley--hilarious blogger and noted Twitter personality--who, after the birth of her second child, beheld changes in her body of which she Did Not Approve. So she had a surgeon fix 'em. Because fuck it. As Tina would (and did, quite frequently!) say. Fuck it! I like the way she thinks.
Reader Comments (11)
Ok so, I just now, like 30 minutes ago, discovered your site. I've read your RB posts, and the last couple of months of blog posts, and it's official. I adore you because you have good hair, live in Brooklyn (oh how I miss it), and completely crack me up.
Welcome back! (Kind of?)
I wouldn't worry about the kid. Aren't they like cats? If they want it bad enough, they'll eventually find their own way home?
Homework is the absolute bane of my existence. And third grade homework? 10 times worse than second. (There's a reason my blog has a "homework wars" tag, and it sees a fair amount of use)
Didn't I do all this already, when I was a kid? And they do not warn you about this in those stupid "what to expect" books. No warning at all, NOT FAIR!
You're one of those funny surprise people who, when you first meet them, you like right away because they're friendly and cute.
And then you sit and just stare and laugh...because they are SO funny. A surprise funny.
I love those kind of people..So, yes, I'll go to Redbook and read.
Of course.
And there's so much more to look forward to! I have one word for you: diorama.
Homework - especially the more heavy-duty, labour-intensive projects which required planning - taught me only that I these are not skills I possess. I was perpetually known as an underachiever, which set me up very well for a life of, um, underachieving.
A big part of the homework problem is that most schools use various textbook programs that have homework built in. The reading program has homework, and so does the math program, and the social studies program, and the science program, and, and, and ... Plus the teacher wants your kid to read 30 minutes a day, which makes good sense, except when you add it to all the other subjects of homework. And when I was a teacher, some parents actually *wanted* kids to be assigned these crazy hands-on projects. So, I don't really think it's always the decision of the teacher, or even the school, to give that much homework. Which means that while your frustration with homework is totally justified and understandable, I have no idea who you can really blame for it.
Do yourself a huge favor and read this book:
The Case Against Homework: How Homework Is Hurting Our Children and What We Can Do About It, by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish
Seriously. There is NO data showing that homework (aside from reading for pleasure) results in any good for kids, and lots of data showing quite the opposite. I have successfully helped my kids not get sucked into this homework craziness, in large part using practical information and advice in that book. Read it! If you buy it and you wish you hadn't, I'll pay you for it. It's that good.
DS: I'm ordering it right now. Thank you!
OH DEAR GOD. I f*ing hate homework! My daughter has... well, who cares, but I have to drag her kicking and screaming through it after dinner, log it in the log book, test for the vocab quiz, do the Everyday Math, HATE HATE HATE IT. Wanna know the irony?? I'm a TEACHER! But damn, the homework I give is stuff that I expect the *kids* to do, NOT their parents.
I too hate my kid's homework. It is just ruining the primary school experience, where I feel we ought to be setting a happy positive tone with regard to education and learning. Instead there is a lot more cursing (From me. Mostly.). And yelling. And saying things like, "JUST DO THE WORK OR ELSE NO LEGOS FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I MEAN IT." When I spoke to the teacher about the sheer quantity of work each night, she told me I was the only one who had mentioned this as being a problem. Just a worksheet, an activity with 21 spelling words, and 15 minutes of reading to do every night Monday through Thursday. For a six year old. What is the problem with that? Can't your kid do that? Or are you a bad mother? Hmm? (That last part is what I heard between the lines).
That said, the teacher said she doesn't check the homework for accuracy, and I have decided to take full advantage of this. As long as he hands something in on Friday, I'm happy. No cursing & complaining from me means everyone is happier. And hopefully he can get into college, somehow, in spite of this.
Also see the great work by Alfie Kohn regarding the absolute dearth of research linking homework to learning, motivation, or any other positive result... summary at http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/edweek/homework.htm and link to his book at http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/hm.htm .
Our son is in Grade 6 and actually, so far, this really hasn't been much of a problem. Our personal policy has been to encourage our son to do his homework - which hasn't been onerous at all - as long as it doesn't require much more than 30 minutes a night, and if it seems to serve some purpose other than mere rote memorisation and/or drills. However, here in Canada we're not contending with the same pressures for standardised testing - I mean, we are, but it's not as intense.