Notable Moments in Exceptional Parenting, part 64
January 8, 2009First, a little background information for you, before I can share my Notable Moment in Exceptional Parenting. Get ready. Aaand…go.
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In the past year or thereabouts, we've gotten into the habit of reading longer chapter books to Henry at bedtime. We read "The Wizard of Oz," "Stuart Little," and so on. At some point he spied a volume of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" at the library and we were then coerced into reading all thirteen volumes of those. When we were done, Scott told Henry, "If you liked a Series of Unfortunate Events, my son, you're sure to love Harry Potter." I wondered if the books were too mature for him, but after all, he had just read thirteen books about orphans—surely a few more wouldn't hurt. Right? So we started reading Harry Potter, which he went bonkers over, as Scott predicted he would.
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After we read to him, Henry likes a little music while he drops off. Generally this is something benign and classical, but recently he's become enamored with the Star Wars soundtrack, so Scott let him listen to it. (This is an important point: Scott. Scott hit "play." Not to point any fingers. Except for the one I'm pointing. At Scott. Hi, sweetie!) Once again, I wondered, is this too much to listen to while you're trying to go to sleep? But my family pshawed my hesitation. "I love it, Mom!" insisted my son, and my husband was all, "Shut up, dipshit, I know what a boy likes." ("Dipshit" is his affectionate nickname for me.)
So! A few days before the Christmas break, Henry's teacher called me over. It seemed that my boy had been sort of moody and sullen for the past two weeks, often complaining that he was tired and achy, and not participating in the class with the joie de vivre for which he is known. This was unlike Henry, who has been, objectively speaking, the valedictorian of his kindergarten class up until that point. They win these chips for good behavior—poker chips? Corn chips? I'm not sure—and he had won approximately 2 billion chips in the first few weeks. He does well. Or, at least, he did.
"Is he getting enough sleep?" his teacher asked, and I immediately realized that was the problem. For the past couple of weeks, his sleep had been terrible. He was driving us nuts, calling to us and asking for drinks of water and conversation and hugs. Hugs! Kids are so demanding. But what, in the past couple of weeks, could be keeping him up all night?
I bet you can guess! Come on! I'll give you a minute.
In the number of seconds it took to walk from the teacher to Henry, who was kicking at some leaves and grumbling to himself, I had it figured out. The kid was being read Harry Potter and then listening to the Darth Vader theme in the dark and he couldn't sleep because he was terrified. Some clues might have been all that talk about thinking scary thoughts and having bad dreams about ghosts. Way to go, genius parents!
I walked over to Henry, who was kicking at a pile of leaves and grumbling. "I'm in trouble," he declared.
"No, she's just worried," I said. "Is something making you unhappy?"
"I just couldn't do gym because my legs were tired." His voice was all shaky.
"I'm thinking… I'm thinking we need to get you to bed earlier. And cut out Harry Potter."
"That's a good idea, "he said.That's a good idea?
"And let's listen to something more relaxing than Star Wars, when you're trying to sleep."
He thought about that for a minute. "You're right," he said. "I need to be soothed."
And then I threw myself into a snowbank and waited for Death to come and relieve me from the crushing guilt.
Thus ends another Notable Moment in Exceptional Parenting. I hope this helps you feel better about your own parenting skills, which are undoubtedly more refined than ours.
Reader Comments (106)
just tweak the routine and all will be well again.
at least you were reading stories, not many kids get that these days!
you'll get over this guilt. even if it is just because you got something new to feel guilty about...
I didn't sleep for months. My mom nearly wrote a letter to Mr. Henson and his creepy muppets.
But I recovered. It can happen.
Don't you worry. My parenting skills are MUCH more exceptional than yours.
Im 23 and I SO cannot watch Harry Potter in the dark. Especially any of the ones past number 1. Eeekk. LOL
I'm sure my pre-school phone call is only moments away.
I think that is the best part.
This is all clearly Scott's fault.
K.
P.S. insert the word "Marcus" in place of "Scott" in the previous sentence, and you will have clear insight into how I live my faultless life. You're welcome.
I'll be laughing all afternoon about that.
No need to throw yourself into a snowbank. We've had to stop reading any number of things b/c they interfered with sleep. Do you think he'd like the Little House books? If not, Beverly Cleary is a good choice--you'll have a whole series of Henry Huggins books to choose from!
The Invention of Hugo Cabret (it's told partially in pictures!)
Dominic by William Steig (so playful and episodic)
E. Nesbit, The Story of the Treasureseekers (classic Victorian story of kids imagination running rampant, only "villain" is poverty)or along the same lines: Eleanor Estes, The Moffats; Harriet the Spy
And hey, ain't nothing wrong with reading the Little House series to a boy--pioneering books never go out of fashion!
I think it's only recent that popular kids' books have to have to have plots driven by a unified and unstoppable scary magic force.
Cue the next week of terrified child who doesn't want to go to be because the ALIENS are coming to GET HIM.
Yes.
Smooth move.
They are all fine.. as Henry will be :):)
No really, it's beautiful that you guys tried something, you both realized it didn't work, and easily came to a solution! Maybe next time he'll come to you first, because he realizes it's okay. Sounds like a moment showing happy goodness, to me.
A few months ago, in a world-class shitty parenting moment, my then-6-month-old fell off the changing table and she (I) broke her leg. The Labor Day trip to the ER. The explaining over and over again how I was reaching for a diaper, because we'd just the minute gotten back from vacation and I couldn't figure out where all the diapers had gone, and when I looked away, she was suddenly on the floor. The going back the next day for the itty-bitty purple cast. It was hands down my worst, guiltiest moment as a parent so far. And when our regular pediatrician (who'd been out of town at the time) called later to check on her, he said that when his own son was an infant, the same thing had happened. It helped to know I wasn't the only terrible parent in the world.
So Henry had a few sleepless nights but no broken bones. He doesn't need a cast, just "to be soothed."