Notable Moments in Exceptional Parenting, part 64
January 8, 2009First, a little background information for you, before I can share my Notable Moment in Exceptional Parenting. Get ready. Aaand…go.
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In the past year or thereabouts, we've gotten into the habit of reading longer chapter books to Henry at bedtime. We read "The Wizard of Oz," "Stuart Little," and so on. At some point he spied a volume of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" at the library and we were then coerced into reading all thirteen volumes of those. When we were done, Scott told Henry, "If you liked a Series of Unfortunate Events, my son, you're sure to love Harry Potter." I wondered if the books were too mature for him, but after all, he had just read thirteen books about orphans—surely a few more wouldn't hurt. Right? So we started reading Harry Potter, which he went bonkers over, as Scott predicted he would.
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After we read to him, Henry likes a little music while he drops off. Generally this is something benign and classical, but recently he's become enamored with the Star Wars soundtrack, so Scott let him listen to it. (This is an important point: Scott. Scott hit "play." Not to point any fingers. Except for the one I'm pointing. At Scott. Hi, sweetie!) Once again, I wondered, is this too much to listen to while you're trying to go to sleep? But my family pshawed my hesitation. "I love it, Mom!" insisted my son, and my husband was all, "Shut up, dipshit, I know what a boy likes." ("Dipshit" is his affectionate nickname for me.)
So! A few days before the Christmas break, Henry's teacher called me over. It seemed that my boy had been sort of moody and sullen for the past two weeks, often complaining that he was tired and achy, and not participating in the class with the joie de vivre for which he is known. This was unlike Henry, who has been, objectively speaking, the valedictorian of his kindergarten class up until that point. They win these chips for good behavior—poker chips? Corn chips? I'm not sure—and he had won approximately 2 billion chips in the first few weeks. He does well. Or, at least, he did.
"Is he getting enough sleep?" his teacher asked, and I immediately realized that was the problem. For the past couple of weeks, his sleep had been terrible. He was driving us nuts, calling to us and asking for drinks of water and conversation and hugs. Hugs! Kids are so demanding. But what, in the past couple of weeks, could be keeping him up all night?
I bet you can guess! Come on! I'll give you a minute.
In the number of seconds it took to walk from the teacher to Henry, who was kicking at some leaves and grumbling to himself, I had it figured out. The kid was being read Harry Potter and then listening to the Darth Vader theme in the dark and he couldn't sleep because he was terrified. Some clues might have been all that talk about thinking scary thoughts and having bad dreams about ghosts. Way to go, genius parents!
I walked over to Henry, who was kicking at a pile of leaves and grumbling. "I'm in trouble," he declared.
"No, she's just worried," I said. "Is something making you unhappy?"
"I just couldn't do gym because my legs were tired." His voice was all shaky.
"I'm thinking… I'm thinking we need to get you to bed earlier. And cut out Harry Potter."
"That's a good idea, "he said.That's a good idea?
"And let's listen to something more relaxing than Star Wars, when you're trying to sleep."
He thought about that for a minute. "You're right," he said. "I need to be soothed."
And then I threw myself into a snowbank and waited for Death to come and relieve me from the crushing guilt.
Thus ends another Notable Moment in Exceptional Parenting. I hope this helps you feel better about your own parenting skills, which are undoubtedly more refined than ours.
Reader Comments (106)
I'll try to remember the general order of our introducing the chapter books to the young'uns. Charlotte's Web was always an early one. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (but not so much James and the Giant Peach), uhhhh
The most fun ever though was listening as the husband (primary bedtime reader) read the Anne of Green Gables books to the older boys near the end of their being read to days. There is nothing cuter than an 8 yo, an 11 yo and a late 30 something discussing whether or not that boy is right for their beloved Anne.
It's like being with me in person. Enjoy.
We went through the exact same thing with my daughter. She stopped and started the Harry Potter series three times before she could handle it without being up all night line. She's in third grade now and has read them all. In fact, she keeps a blog where she writes reviews of her favorite books--harry's on there, of course: www.thelittleclover.blogspot.com
Love your blog!
Just wait, soon your husband will be taking him to see the movies and letting him play "M" rated video games with blood running in the streets. He KNOWS what a boy likes! :-)
Before bed, my dad read me and my siblings The Lord of the Rings trilogy repeatedly. I'm still afraid of the dark, basements, and plumbing, but I think that has more to do with watching horror movies (It and Silent Deadly Night XXVI (or something) being the two most damaging) on the sly when I was little. I think you're okay with the Harry Potter and the Star Wars.
To add to the suggestion list: Rudyard Kipling's short stories. My favorite story of all time is "Rikki-Tikki-Tavi".
and . . . I let him watch! that game gives ME nightmares.
Please - bush league here. Try reading "Struwwelpeter" and Hilaire Belloc before bed, watching movies like "Tremors" and "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy - that's how my 3 and 5 year olds spent Christmas break with my brilliant husband.
Thanks for the warning. I applaud that y'all read to him though, that's fantastic.
You're writing is a joy to read.
My daughter and I just finished reading the last Harry Potter book about half an hour ago. She is seven and was okay to handle it. But when she was five we read The Chronicles of Narnia, and she loved them. They are much less dark than Harry Potter, and C.S. Lewis skims over the descriptions of battles, etc. (He actually writes things like, "And then a bunch of scary things happened but if I write about them your mother won't let you read the book anymore" and then starts a new topic.)
Of course, the movies (both Narnia and HP)are all way too scary for her right now. We'll give them a few more years.
Anyway, I hope that Henry gets some rest and that you find some new sleep-appropriate books soon!
Also, her Dan Zanes Night Time and Enya music at bedtime turned into "that song's too scary, that one's too sad" and then we discovered this little app for the iPhone/iPod Touch called Ambiance. And now she drifts off each night to the sound of a babbling creek. But she still sometimes gets up for another tuck-in.
Fortunately, she falls asleep right away. Of course, we always have Enya playing and not John Williams.