Notable Moments in Exceptional Parenting, part 64
January 8, 2009First, a little background information for you, before I can share my Notable Moment in Exceptional Parenting. Get ready. Aaand…go.
-
In the past year or thereabouts, we've gotten into the habit of reading longer chapter books to Henry at bedtime. We read "The Wizard of Oz," "Stuart Little," and so on. At some point he spied a volume of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" at the library and we were then coerced into reading all thirteen volumes of those. When we were done, Scott told Henry, "If you liked a Series of Unfortunate Events, my son, you're sure to love Harry Potter." I wondered if the books were too mature for him, but after all, he had just read thirteen books about orphans—surely a few more wouldn't hurt. Right? So we started reading Harry Potter, which he went bonkers over, as Scott predicted he would.
-
After we read to him, Henry likes a little music while he drops off. Generally this is something benign and classical, but recently he's become enamored with the Star Wars soundtrack, so Scott let him listen to it. (This is an important point: Scott. Scott hit "play." Not to point any fingers. Except for the one I'm pointing. At Scott. Hi, sweetie!) Once again, I wondered, is this too much to listen to while you're trying to go to sleep? But my family pshawed my hesitation. "I love it, Mom!" insisted my son, and my husband was all, "Shut up, dipshit, I know what a boy likes." ("Dipshit" is his affectionate nickname for me.)
So! A few days before the Christmas break, Henry's teacher called me over. It seemed that my boy had been sort of moody and sullen for the past two weeks, often complaining that he was tired and achy, and not participating in the class with the joie de vivre for which he is known. This was unlike Henry, who has been, objectively speaking, the valedictorian of his kindergarten class up until that point. They win these chips for good behavior—poker chips? Corn chips? I'm not sure—and he had won approximately 2 billion chips in the first few weeks. He does well. Or, at least, he did.
"Is he getting enough sleep?" his teacher asked, and I immediately realized that was the problem. For the past couple of weeks, his sleep had been terrible. He was driving us nuts, calling to us and asking for drinks of water and conversation and hugs. Hugs! Kids are so demanding. But what, in the past couple of weeks, could be keeping him up all night?
I bet you can guess! Come on! I'll give you a minute.
In the number of seconds it took to walk from the teacher to Henry, who was kicking at some leaves and grumbling to himself, I had it figured out. The kid was being read Harry Potter and then listening to the Darth Vader theme in the dark and he couldn't sleep because he was terrified. Some clues might have been all that talk about thinking scary thoughts and having bad dreams about ghosts. Way to go, genius parents!
I walked over to Henry, who was kicking at a pile of leaves and grumbling. "I'm in trouble," he declared.
"No, she's just worried," I said. "Is something making you unhappy?"
"I just couldn't do gym because my legs were tired." His voice was all shaky.
"I'm thinking… I'm thinking we need to get you to bed earlier. And cut out Harry Potter."
"That's a good idea, "he said.That's a good idea?
"And let's listen to something more relaxing than Star Wars, when you're trying to sleep."
He thought about that for a minute. "You're right," he said. "I need to be soothed."
And then I threw myself into a snowbank and waited for Death to come and relieve me from the crushing guilt.
Thus ends another Notable Moment in Exceptional Parenting. I hope this helps you feel better about your own parenting skills, which are undoubtedly more refined than ours.
Reader Comments (106)
My daughter has recently gotten into Ray Lynch's music while going to sleep. She calls it the "clinky clinky one". It's pretty soothing!
Like when he let the Boy watch The Last Samurai with him when he was 4, and Lord of the Rings at 5 with my 3 year old daughter cowering in his lap. Nice when I'm the one who wakes up at night with her sobbing, "I don't want you to die mommy." And that was before she saw the movie.
I have a kid whose breakfast every day consists of a Twinkie and a cappucino from 7-11.
I have another kid whose mother admitted to taking him to Wal-mart at midnight. For three hours. What does one do at midnight in Wal-mart? FOR THREE HOURS?
And finally, to really boost your confidence in yourself as a mother, I present C. C's mother lets him watch movies to "calm him down" before bedtime. Last week's choice? Saw 4.
Anytime you're feeling guilty, e-mail me. I can help.
The Best way to end any parenting story ever.
Get used to it.
And listen to Lindsay, who apparently knows the next three winners of the "parent of the year" award.
Just think about the way fairy tales used to be and you'll know that you're doing just fine.
My brother is still terrified of organized religion, and he's 26.
I agree with the suggestions of Cricket In Times Square, it was one of my favorites, and the suggestion of Junie B. Jones. Even though the main character is a girl, my 4th grade son says they are still very popular with boys in his class. Oh, and Judy Blume's SuperFudge!
For music, I really like the Universal Music Family CDs after getting some to review, and the Jazz Lullaby CD is really nice. Hope Henry gets some sleep!
Here's the educational part. First, when a child thisclose to age one is across a room, they are pretty quick in scooting across the floor. Also they're still pretty small, sometimes even difficult to notice. Additionally, when you run the attachment thingie on the sweeper, did you know that the roller brushes on the bottom of the sweeper still continue to spin? Yeah, who'da thunk it, right?
Back to our story. Oh you know where this is going. One minute I'm reaching up to merrily provide a clean and safe environment for my children, with them happily playing WAAAAAy over there. The next minute, my darling one year old has her hand UNDER the vacuum sweeper, while the roller brushes are peeling off the layers of her skin.
Yeah.
The next day when our guests arrived, the house was, in fact, VERY clean. And my daughter, the star of the party, had a large bandage over the top of her hand, where the skin was peeled back completely. (Yet it did not bleed one drop. I found this oddly fascinating.)
She's nine today and yes, you can still see the scar.
Did I mention how clean my house was?
So, we allowed a t.v. to be in his room with the strict instruction that all he could watch was TLC, you know, so he could 'learn' something while he was falling asleep. He LOVED 'The Learning Channel'... However, what we didn't know was about the time he was going to bed, TLC would air shows about the planets and how earth was slowly spinning out of control and in another 64 billion years it would completely explode... and shows with similar themes.
Were you aware that kids really have very little concept of time? One year might very well be equal to 64 billion years in their minds. We found this out as our sons fears grew worse and the sleep problems became even more pronounced. Seriously, he was 15 before he stopped coming into our room asking if he could sleep on the floor beside our bed.
Stupid parents INDEED!
Oh, and my 11 month old has gotten his fingers caught in a drawer TWICE in the past 24 hours. In the end, I think we all do quite well just to keep them alive till they're 18.
And seriously, your kid is awesome. Soothed. Hee!
Henry IS a genius! Even if he is a little tired. JUST THINK what he'll be able to do when he's soothed and well-rested!
(Well, or giggly. Whatever.)