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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

Some Books
I'm In...

Sleep Is
For The Weak

Chicago Review Press

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Let's Panic

The site that inspired the book!

At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

« Forgive me. Please. | Main | Two posts in a row involving cats = run while you still have a chance. »

Now with pictures!

This morning I told myself, no more granola. I’ve wreaked too much havoc on my digestive system. Too many oats have ravaged my innards. No more! At least for today.

So what shall it be? Shall I choose from our multitude of healthy, albeit bland breakfast choices? Or shall I go for something involving impressive levels of fat and sugar?

I don’t know what came over me this morning. Wait, yes I do. Scott stayed home today for a doctor’s appointment, so he drove Henry to school. It was 9 a.m., Henry was gone, and I was still in my pajamas. This confluence of events sent me straight into vacation mode.

Besides, yesterday was the most depressing day of the year. Despite that fact, I was feeling rather chipper. So I figured today I should celebrate, because it only gets better from here, and if it gets better than "rather chipper," I'm in for a good year.

Here’s one of the things I love most about our house: it’s sunny. Our apartment was so dark, we had to turn all the lights on each morning. And french toast tastes better in a sunny dining room. That’s another thing: a dining room! I have a dining room!

I was so excited about the french toast that I forgot to fully cook it. Mmm, sopping brioche. (That’s right, brioche. I could have used the hearty multigrain bread. But hearty multigrain bread is for chumps.)

I’m not giving up on you yet, french toast.

See? You turned out delicious! And then I ate you.

Charlie got to lick the plate. That’s like Christmas times ten for him.

After breakfast, I waddled up to my office. Otherwise known as a sunroom. I have given up the quad workout of the slanty room. Now whenever I’m working, I get a tan. And when I look up, I see these:

My sister-in-law made these for me. I saw her crane mobile, and asked where she bought it. She laughed at me. I made one or two of them, under her tutelage. They’re the misshapen cousins of the others. Poor, twisted little freak cranes.

Every day, I look up at the cranes and pretend to work. It’s completely quiet, except for the occasional bird twitter or the driving-school cars who circle our neighborhood, always driving more slowly than I thought possible for cars to drive. Charlie basks in the sun next to me. Later we’ll go for a long walk; Charlie will lurch ahead, failing to murder a single squirrel, while I listen to The Sound of Young America podcast and try not to laugh out loud. Inevitably one of our newfound friends will drive by and stop his or her car (okay, minivan) to ask why I’m laughing out loud.

Why did I have a problem with this place, again? I can't quite recall. Maybe it's from that stroke I had, shortly after breakfast.

Reader Comments (40)

Very good signs that you are starting to feel at home in your new place. Your house looks lovely!
January 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJulie
That entry just made me smile; I'm thrilled you're happier now. Your life sounds lovely (and so are the cranes).
January 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJanssen
This made me so happy to read. I had a feeling that eventually, as your first year draws to a close, you would find peace with your move and discover that the suburbs aren't just for chumps. Many very cool people live in the 'burbs, and isn't life just so much easier than being in the city?

I'm really happy for you, Alice.
January 23, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermargalit
I'm with you on light. I don't have window coverings on the backside of our house for that reason - the light pours in the house and pours into me.

Those cranes are beautiful.
January 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterOMSH
I envy your sunny room. My house here in the Pacific Northwest lacks sun because it's cloudy practically all the time.

Just de-lurking to say that, even though this may be the dullest comment ever.
January 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMel
Love the breakfast and the idea of treating yourself well on a Tuesday morning. I get so lazy about food when I'm by myself. I make something quick and easy and then am disappointed with the results.

When we moved to the burbs (OK, the country), I was so taken with this bird in our back yard. He was black and shiny, as if he had stepped in an oil slick.

I told our neighbor all about him, and he looked at me pityingly and said, "You mean the blackbird?" Oh. Yes. We have only pigeons in Manhattan.
January 23, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterslouching mom
That sounds like you had a very good day. I think every day should start with french toast.I love the crane mobile, by the way. Must be nice to have that hanging above where you work - so peaceful.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMerry Jennifer
Oh, pretty hardwood floors! LOVE THOSE. Lucky, Alice.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkristenv
Sunny houses are the best. Nothing starts my day out better than a room full of sunshine. Glad you're starting to enjoy your new place more.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJessie
You just happened to have brioche in the house? Can I come live with you? I have a house in NJ with a dining room, but it's dark. And there's no brioche.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMomVee
It's nice to read that you're settling in. As much as I loathe the suburbs, I'd really love to have a house. You've inspired me to have bacon this morning. No french toast. Just bacon. Lots of it. Unfortunately, I'll have to eat it in the family/dining/play/office room with the lights on since it's so damned dark in here.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkate
i knew that granola would lead to harder drugs.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKyran
According to Rachael Ray (OMG I can't believe I just admitted to watching her) your French Toast should remain slightly "custardy" on the inside.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnne
Anne, I think the custardy texture should remain fully in the realm of "personal preference". If my French toast was custardy in the middle, I'm pretty sure I'd whorf up the rest of the breakfast!

Alice, I love the floor in your dining room. Did you have to pull up carpet and refinish it or did you just totally luck out?
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercandace
Candace, we lucked out!

January 24, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteralice
Oh HELL yeah! I fell off the semi-herbovoracious wagon last month (the kids couldn't be more thrilled) and filled my 'bacon hole' to capacity!!!

That sounds like a very SENSIBLE and FULFILLING breakfast!

is your whole house perfumed with the aroma? mm. bacon scented misshapen cranes. That's livin'!

And your little dog too!xayun
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAyun
Unhappiest day of the year? Why yes, it was, and how the hell did Fox News know that? I knew I was crying pretty loudly, but didn't think it was loud enough to penetrate the walls of Rupert Murdoch's penthouse. I too am glad to know that things can only get better from here. Because the Fox News is always, always right! And completely unbiased!

Very, very happy to read the reports of a chipper Alice. But next time you'd better make enough breakfast to share with the whole class. That pan could have held a LOT more bacon, you know.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSummer
I cannot confirm or deny that I'm totally feeling you on what the granola can do to the insides. And yet I continue to eat it. Why did I not heed your words?
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHeather B.
I go and make the granola (which you didn't mention was more addictive than crack-oh wait, you did) and now you go bacon on me? I'm doomed....
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith
Oh, good God! Your picture reminded me of my father-in-law's special birthday breakfasts - bacon and cheesecake. The man weighs somewhere in the vicinity of 400 pounds, so I can totally understand why he'd think that's okay. On the other hand, can you picture a 400 pound man with a fistful of bacon wrapped cheesecake headed toward his gaping maw? This is why I need therapy.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMonkee
Hey! I have that pan! (only smaller). And I think I have those plates! And I even have one or two of those cranes, in that paper!

Although when I tried to make a mobile of them, years ago, I failed miserably. Maybe time to try again.

Now, can I just have a sunny dining room like yours? Mine is dingy, dingy, and dark, at all times of the year. Now I remember why I want to move...
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered Commenternate
Sounds like suburban livin' is treating you right!
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterstarshine
Okay, let's see -

French Toast Brioche...and BaconSunroom office..with origami cranes in flightWalking dog...without murdering squirrelsLaughing out loud on the street...and new friends checking on you

Hmmmm. Where's the angst? Where's the drama? suburban

Kinda beats the melodramatic longing for the true grit of the city, huh?
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMatt
Our new house has a lot of windows, too and that's just about all it takes to start my day out right. I prefer looking out my window at cows and corn than the side of my next-door neighbor's house.

I love the cranes.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie
Viva Brioche! which, incidentally, I think should always be written in serif font and in italics; it looks more regal that way.

There isn't a single bakery in my town that makes the stuff so I'm reduced to baking my own which isn't ever quite the same.
January 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJustin

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