One more about the drugs.

I have been completely Effexor-free for, oh, a little over a week now. My emotions are back to normal; I believe that my term as Crazy Crying Lady has ended. This would be good news were it not for the fact that I happen to be dying. I think there was a little heroin mixed in with the Effexor and no one told me. I’ve been enjoying a fascinating variety of physical sensations. Hot! Cold! Hot and cold at the same time! Queasy! Starving! Racked with stomach pain! Nauseated and starving and trembling like a damp Chihuahua! Today has been spent curled up in various locations around the apartment. Next to Henry’s train set. Abutting the Galaxy of Star Wars Guys. And, of course, on the couch.

I’m so tired that I fell asleep in mid-sentence while conversing with Henry, who did not appreciate this. He has told me, in no uncertain terms, that he is not pleased with my performance lately. The mother of yore, who would take him to the playground and/or build Jedi starfighters out of play dough, has been replaced by weird shaky mom who lifts her head from the pillow to ask him if he wouldn’t mind watching a little more TV. The answer to that question, incidentally, is “Normally I would relish the opportunity to watch television until my brain falls out through my slack mouth, but today I would rather force you to rise from your prone position and make you twirl around with me, so start twirling, queasy lady.”

On the other hand, Henry basically potty-trained himself last week. I brought up the topic, and he put his hand on my arm and all but said, “Why don’t you let me take care of that.” I wasn’t sure if I needed to provide a reward system, some stickers or M&Ms or maybe some Effexor capsules, but as it turned out, for Henry the reward was in the doing. All I had to do was rush to the toilet whenever he had done his thing and provide the appropriate accolades. Then Henry flushed and I returned to my lovely couch.

I’d like to feel better soon, but on the other hand if I keep this up he’s going to teach himself how to dress himself. And cook. And read. And start a blog called “My Deadbeat Mother.”

Comments

[tortoiseshelly]

You think the queasy trick will work with my boyfriend? I'd like to teach him how to clean the dishes and do the laundry.

[Nadarine]

Go with the auto-training for as long as you can! If drink-mixing is his next skill, you're got it MADE.

[Elizabeth]

You slay me.

[sweetney]

this effexor thing is scaring the crap out of me. i'm a horrible coward, and nauseatingly sissy-ish when it comes to any measure of physical discomfort. thus, in light of your experience, i may be on effexor FOR THE NEXT 50 YEARS (or until dead, whichever comes first).

[alice]

Tracey, the trick apparently is to take Prozac while you're withdrawing. I wanted to be all punk rock and not do any drugs, but I see now what a crazy fool I was.

[Ozma]

I think you are as punk rock as they come, A.

[PhC]

Ugh- I am down to 1/4 of my regular dosage of Lexapro, and am going completely off next week (when I don't have to spend my days entertaining 13-year olds). But I'm already feeling all those things because I'm pregnant. I imagine the feelings doubling and I am petrified. I guess I should just plan to spend a week on the couch. Fun.

[DM]

Twirling is wonderful and not appreciated by my roommate. Today I was frolicing in the snow and she told me to get into the car. She doesn't like it when I hug trees either. So, I will trade. You can have my roommate and she will take care of you and nurse you back to health and Henry and I will do pirouettes in the middle of the parking lot (after looking both ways for cars, of course).

Of course, all of this requires convincing her that we should drive to New York and I can't see that happening so hopefully you will feel better soon and Henry will have his twirling partner back.

[Sassy]

I hope Henry's super mummy is back from sick leave soon. Hang in there, you're going really well.

[schmutzie]

You just reminded me of that one day when I was going off P@xil, and everything looked kind of damp like it used to on LSD, only I was just standing around in my living room feeling confused by the furniture. I took a very long nap for days. All better!

I do hope the sick part passes soon for you, or that at least you find a better spot to shake out the DTs than piles of pointy toys.

[jenB]

i will mail you a couple of ativans to take the edge off for a week or so. always works for me, mental illness prescription druggie that i am.

xo

[Eulallia]

Hey Henry! Now's the time to ask for a new puppy or a Volkswagen! Take advantage of this while you can, boy!

[LetterB]

Glad to see that you have gotten through the worst of it with all your faculties intact. Hope the physical crappiness is over soon. And you truly are punk rock to be doing this during the holidays. Oy.

[Kristen]

I was feeling very very sorry for you (as I remember what it was like to go off the evil Paxil) up until you said Henry trained himself. Now I am simply not so sorry. I have been training my nearly 4 year old for the past year. Yes, you heard me, YEAR. We think he's done...but don't let him know that or the accidents will start up again. And now my 17 month old wants to start. *sigh* It is never going to end...NEVER!

Now that I am done ranting, I feel sorry for you yet again. Stupid mood swings.

[lauxa]

Well, though I wish you were feeling better, I am relishing reading about your journey off the effexor, and it would not be nearly as interesting if there were no side-effects. Just remember that someday you'll look back at this and laugh. And due to your blogging, you'll actually remember the humorous details.

Hang in there and get back to normal soon!

[Amanda]

Are you sure you didn't miss a BIRTH CONTROL pill? I may be biased but you just sound pregnant to me.

[Kaguya Hime]

Feel better soon, my dear! Feeling vaguely nauseous all day is no one's idea of a good time. Have some saltines and ginger ale on me (well, not *on* me, but with me in *mind*...eh, you get it).

And Henry-Boy potty-traind himself?? Wow, Christmas miracle! ;)

[Kaguya Hime]

*trained. I *can* spell. I'm just slightly intoxicated right now...and what do I do? I blog. I'm such a loser.

[alice]

Amanda, my mom is practically leaping off her chair every time I call with a new symptom, she's so convinced I'm pregnant. But nope. Not pregnant.

[Karen Rani]

I totally feel your pain. Coming off anti-depressants is a bitch! Now I find I can't drink alcohol without getting a headache. Dunno if that's age or what the drugs did to my head, but it's ANNOYING.

I hope you are feeling better soon! And congrats on the potty training! Way to go big guy!

[tree]

Hey! If not being 100% means your kid potty trains himself, woo hoo!I do hope you're feeling better soon.

[cagey]

Congrats on the potty-training! It seems the #1 trick to potty training is letting the kid take the lead. I never understood the whole "forcing it/fighting it" approach. If the kid isn't ready, he isn't ready.

[Jaeme]

I've been following your weaning process and you're scaring the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors out of me. I'm on Effexor and I know the day will come when I have to stop. I hope by then there will be some kind of program for weaning, like an effexodone clinic, where I can go for relief.

[honestyrain]

don't worry. you're probably just pregnant.

[Chloe]

I too just finished the HELL of weaning from Effexor. I spent a good week feeling like my brain was banging around in my head. Two days in a row my husband had to pick me up from work because the thought of driving home without the ability to look right or left seemed far too risky with my 2-year-old daughter in the back seat.

Thanks for sharing your journey, it helped me through mine.