People get older! And other news.
September 18, 2004Today my older nephew turns 21. It’s very strange to watch someone whose diapers you changed become an adult. He changes his own diapers now. And I’m not sure about this, but I think he’s around 6’10”. And his voice is lower than Barry White’s (especially now that Barry White is dead) and he has Hulk-like muscles that rend his garments even when he’s not in the least bit angry. It’s entirely too weird. David: enough with the growing.
September is our two families’ Month of Birthdays: on the 13th, 14th, 16th, 18th, and 23rd, we are expected to honor our beloved family members, and honor them RIGHT or they will be SO PISSED at us. Besides straining our budget (cards aren’t free, you know!) this has had the effect of entirely confusing Henry, who I think believes that from now on, ours is a Happy Birthday world. This is life, now: we put candles into cupcakes and we sing that damn song over and over and if we want to give anything to anyone else, we wrap it in multicolored paper first. Henry’s become an old hand at the Happy Birthday song, but his rendition is alarmingly weary and jaded. By the time we reach his birthday, which is oh my god coming up in a couple of weeks, he’s going to ditch us and try to find parents who aren’t so determined to be festive all the time.
In other news, I’m a pundit (read the entire article, because it’s quite excellent; my attempt at political humor is about halfway down). Many thanks to Carlene, who apparently had planned to describe me as a “Park Slope mother” but added “and writer” to the finished article so that I wouldn’t commit suicide. But actually I live in Prospect Heights*, Carlene. Prospect Heights**!
*I believe this is a relatively new moniker, as is Park Slope: originally this entire area was dubbed “Dungville” or “Mudhump” or “Where-Rats-Copulate.”
**Once, right after we had moved, I was walking to the gym when a man walking toward me glared and spat, “Park Slut.” (Apparently my sweatpants aroused in him a heady combination of rage and desire. What can I say?) And when I told my husband this he said, “You should have corrected him--you’re a Prospect Whore now.”
Reader Comments (8)
"Whereas if Hillary gave that speech, she would have been stoned."
also:you can enliven a listless "happy birthday" crooner by teaching him the special moves that go with the song. sign language works, or just make up some groovy looking hand movements. sometimes they regain interest. don't give into apathy! make the pie higher!
It's starts out normallly....'Happy birthday to you....' then moves on to: "ehhhh mmmmm eeeehhhhh....[repeat]'
Until everyone claps. Drives his parents crazy.
I'm telling everyone this, but it really disturbed me...maybe this post was the cause of it? I had a dream Teresa Heinz was following me around my life (in my bathroom, at preschool drop off) screaming; "Stupid Whore!" at me. Isn't that weird?
But what I'm saying is: New York Times Dump Dowd and Hire...uh...Finslippy Woman. Uh, Carlene Bauer!
It's great. The Observer is also a very cool forum for you.
I wonder about your view that Heinz Kerry is somewhat insane. She gets kind of a glazed look in her eyes but it might be boredom. I mean, you couldn't blame her.
What would it be like to actually have someone interesting in the White House? Say what you like, Hillary is not very interesting.
With respect to your post above I hope it isn't terrible and things get better soon.
i'm easy that way.
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