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Let's Panic: The Book!

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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain,
and Finally Turn You
into a Worthwhile
Human Being.

Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it. → 

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Radio's playing some forgotten song

So Henry is now demanding music that rocks, and not just rocks, but rocks "hard." "I want to rock out," he tells me. All the time.

I don't know where he gets it from. Scott and I enjoy the rock-and-roll just as much as the next parent, but it is not often that we can be found "rocking out."

Are you imagining me perched on the edge of my straight-backed chair, adjusting my pince-nez? If so, you are exactly right. That’s how I sit. And that's what I wear. And yes, my expression is pained. My unadorned, starched shirt is high-necked.

But I digress! The boy wants to rock, and his rocking involves these hip-shaking moves that amuse us and the neighbors, so I have been assisting him as concerns rocking. His favorite, naturally, is "We Will Rock You." And we get to listen to that until my ears fall off my head. So now I'm finding him new rocking-out songs. One of them is Golden Earring's "Radar Love." And why not? Where would we be without Golden Earring? Stuck with 10cc and Manfred Mann, that's where. So I download "Radar Love," and ever since Henry has been shimmying around the living room, whipping his head up and down until I'm worried he's going to concuss himself.

When he was at school the other day, I wasted precious minutes on Youtube, gaping at the Radar Love video.

First of all, why did no one ever tell me that Golden Earring is Dutch? Somehow this ruins them for me. I'm sorry, Dutch peoples, I love your country and your delicious tiny pancakes, but I never thought of you as cool. Second, the video, oh dear. The guy in it is tootling around the countryside in a three-wheeled car. Then, what, the policewoman and, they, what, and then their cars are handcuffed…to each other? What? Nothing makes sense anymore.

I complained about this revelation to Scott, who informed me that Golden Earring was never cool. Then he mocked the very concept of "radar love." Then he mocked me for ever thinking it was cool, and let's keep in mind that I was four when I first heard it, and I believe he then began singing a version called "Sonar Love," but I couldn't hear him because I was shouting LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LAAAA. We're grown-ups.

Excuse me, I'm off to download some Foghat. And I will not be ashamed.

Reader Comments (54)

How about some Ok Go? The "Here It Goes Again" song is especially fun when watching the video.
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBri
Wait. You don't think that's cool?
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither
Well, you've knocked the scales from my eyes. I thought that song was pretty cool until about four minutes and twenty seconds ago.
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbraine
OH, come on! Next you're going to tell me Human League wasn't cool!!! My favorite part of the video is watching the "hard rocker" skip off in the fields with his new love! Nothing says bad-a$$ like skipping!
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commentermegan
Golden Earring? I never even heard of them. Does that make me cool because they (or it) are uncool, or does that make me an uncool old fogie because I've never heard the names of half the bands people blog about?
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSuburbanCorrespondent
I'm looking for marriage material for my 2 1/2 year old music-obsessed daughter, and your son just might make the cut. How does he feel about bagpipes? (

Please post video of the "rocking out," and keep in mind that you're competing against this: featured item: ar-lo rocks youI'm not sure the video still works - hope so, because it was the funniest thing I've seen in a loooooong time.
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen
What dates this video the most isn't the clothes or hair or "special effects" ... it's the fact that the couple got married. In an '80s video, the guy never would have settled down with just one female cop. No, he would have picked up two or three!

As for songs, I suggest: "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister, "Mony, Mony" by Billy Idol, and "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'N Roses. If a small child can't rock out to those, I'm not sure he's a rocker :)
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterErin
My 6 year old, when she was only 3, would protest if we tried to change the radio station from "System of a Down"---listen to some of their music and tell me that we aren't in trouble.

And, I love Radar Love.
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterFairly Odd Mother
I think "party hard" by andrew wk is one of the best songs to rock out to. Plus, Andrew WK's dad was my property professor in law school, which totally sweetens the deal.
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterstacy
That does it. I'm rebuilding the front axle of my truck so I can have a three-wheeler.

It's now official.
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterThursday's Child
I was introduced (at a VERY young age- as in- I do not remember life without them) to the likes of Prince, Tina Turner, George Michael, Madonna, and other such artists that one would probably not generally introduce to a small child.

I turned out okay!(ish).

Plus I know all the words to "Let's Go Crazy" "Proud Mary" "Like a Prayer" and "I Want Your Sex"

What parent wouldn't be proud?
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLacey Jane
Jack likes Bob Dylan's greatest hits. He really like You Aint Goin' Nowhere. He calls it the Genghis Khan song and totally rocks out to it. It's a little scary actually and uhhh...maybe not the best music to help out a child's grammer usage...

December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKatie
Oh! Oh! How about Barracuda, or Rock You Like a Hurricane, or In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida, or, or, or...
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKate
Aren't rock music videos required to not make any sense?

BTW some of the world's best pop music comes from Sweden. ; )
December 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL! That was my favorite song to rock out to when I was a kid. I especially liked it because it was the ROLLERSKATE BACKWARD SONG on Saturday afternoons! OW!
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterShannon
If his rocking out progression follows mine, it sounds like he's one step away from Rush fandom, followed immediately by Judas Priest and Iron Maiden.
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAverage Jane
my guys are totally into the Clash, Wilco, Radiohead, AC/DC, and God forgive me, the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I drew the line at the Violent Femmes however. I can only introduce them to so much profanity....but I highly suggest the Clash for small children.
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbabelbabe
My now 17 year old son's first head-banging "rock-out" song was AC/DC's Thunder. He was in a little head-banging trance everytime the video came on. Now he likes thrash metal, techno, rave and punk music. Help me!
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDana
My father was once on a train sitting with the drummer from Golden Earring in about 1985. The drummer just kept repeating throughout the long ride "all they want to hear is that damn 'Radar Love'" while shaking his head.
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth
I have to say that her orthopedic shoes? Are hot.

Too funny.
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRee
Get the boy some AC/DC, stat! It's been a staple in my own rocking-out since I was but a little lass, and I went on to corrupt my younger cousins. When my cousin Daniel was Henry's age, he liked singing along to "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap."

If we want to get a LOT newer, I cannot reccomend The Darkness highly enough. I think your little butt-rocker would approve.
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMeetzorp
How about Rock Lobster or other B-52s? I too thought of the Femmes, but concluded that lyrics are probably a bit too salty.

some others he might like (can you tell I'm an 80s girl?):American Womanearly Bon Jovi (don't you live in NJ now?)Shout (not from the 80s, but on the Big Chill soundtrack, so . . . )Jeremiah was a Bullfrog (what is the real name of that song?)

My favorite song when I was four was Cher's "Gypsy's, Tramps and Thieves." and apparently I had quite an elaborate hip-shaking dance to go with it (think Shakira now). I still love that song.Good fun!
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterelsimom
Why not try some Hendrix? He went pretty hard on the electric guitar. He probably wouldn't like the hippie stuff yet. Aerosmith? Alice Cooper? Twisted Sisters? Red Hot Chili Peppers? Of course with RHCP he might learn about the rocking out in their underwear and I don't know how you feel about that, but it could provide some good blackmail material.
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLori
That video is a brilliant send-up of everything video-y. They are even cooler now.
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSuebob
My 3 year old daughter's very favorite song is Another One Bites The Dust (which she calls, "anada one busten dusten"). My husband put it on a CD for her which she listens to over & over & over & over...complete with the rockin' hippy-hippy shake dance moves that only a three year old can deliver.

Since they share the love of Queen, he may be fond of her other favorite, The Ramones, which is what I play whenever she demands something LOUD & FAST, which she does quite often. I'm the only minivan in town blasting Sheila is a Punk Rocker (which we, of course, change to her name:)
December 7, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdagwood

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