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How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant
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Written by Alice Bradley and Eden Kennedy

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At LET'S PANIC ABOUT BABIES, Eden Kennedy and I share our hard-won wisdom and tell you exactly what to think and feel and do, whether you're about to have a baby or already did and don't know what to do with it.

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Wednesday
Oct072009

Seven.

As in, that's what my kid is. Today. Henry is seven. Seven! I know.

A few weeks ago we were in the grocery store and he picked up a "7" candle. "Let's get this for my birthday cake," he said.

"No," I said. "I can't buy that. That, you see, is a 7."

"But that's what I'll be!" he said.

"I'm sorry. I just can't do it. Let's get two 3's and a 1!" I suggested.

"Mooooooom," he said. And threw the 7 into the cart. He's seven, after all. He doesn’t put up with my bullshit.



It appears that I must face facts: he's turning into a big kid. He calls me "Mom," now. I've caught him rolling his eyes at me. He insists that he's too old to hold my hand (then almost immediately forgets and grabs for me, and we walk like that for blocks before he remembers). He calls for me in a crowd by shouting "Alice Bradley!" He races me to the curb, and he wins. (Which, okay, isn't saying much, as I am not exactly known for my speed.) We play card games, and he lets me win. He is long-limbed and his baby teeth are falling out far too quickly for my taste and he is reading and writing and humming improvised soundtracks for his Bionicle and Lego adventures and drawing these intricate, complicated schematics that I can't begin to figure out.

He is astounding. I am telling you this completely objectively and not at all because I'm his mother. Look, I don't want to put down your kids, I'm sure they're super, but it's highly possible that I have the Greatest Child in the Universe. Anecdotal evidence strongly supports my theory, is all I'm saying. Although I have yet to conduct an extensive study. I'm going to have to look into some funding.

So far it's been a good birthday. Last weekend we had a slumber party, which we're still recovering from. (Mama's getting old and doesn't handle that sleep-deprivation thing all that well, turns out.) This morning there were pancakes and a couple of Star Wars-themed gifts. We were awarded a group hug for those. After school he's getting a Legos set and Battleship and a Calvin and Hobbes book. Don't tell him, though, it's a surprise.

Next year, he tells me, he's going to be eight. He's already making plans. I keep telling him to slow down, but he just smiles that crazy toothless smile at me, and barrels ahead.

Reader Comments (66)

I have read your blog for ages and never posted before. Today is my son's 7th birthday as well and so much of what you describe is so very familiar. I am totally enjoying this age and the amazing person my son is becoming.

Although, we might have to agree that there are two Greatest Children in the Universe.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin
Happy B-Day to H! And you should think your kid is THE BEST ... every parent should, so go ahead. :)
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLou
WOW! I can't believe how fast it all goes... Turns out all those grownups were right. Still, I have this vivid memory of Henry at 9 months, sitting in his stroller and sucking on my water bottle, and it feels like a few minutes ago. Happy Birthday Henry!! Love, Auntie Shwendels
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShwendels
He sounds uncannily like my husband. Even the interest in Legos and StarWars. Although I'm happy to report that my husband has teeth.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin @ Fierce Beagle
AW! Happy Birthday to Henry! And buck up there, cause I think I'm seeing my future.



October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie
Man. Seven! Happy birthday to Henry, who, by all accounts, does appear to be a pretty freakin' great kid.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLawyerish
As I read your blog for the first time, I am cradling my nearly three month old son in my arms. I am so excited to see him grow but terrified as well because of what you are now experiencing. I know that it is all part of this game of parenting but I'd like a time out. :)
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErica
Happy birthday to Henry, may the Force be with him.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
I feel exactly the same way about my six and a half year old son. I keep telling him to stop getting so old, so quickly. He just drew some intricate, complex drawing last night. It was better than anything I could have drawn. His teeth are falling out faster than a lot of his friends. And mine is VERY tall. He looks eight. I want him to be three again, for about ten years. He tells me that it's impossible, kind of in a "get a grip" voice. I'm sure you know the tone well.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrina
today is MY birthday too...and i'm 27. so uh, you know. samesies? sortof?

no?

i don't know. but i like your idea for researching whether or not you have the greatest kid in the universe. i'll totally fund it. with hugs!
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermiss. chief
Seven! Holy cow.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina (Apron Strings)
Oh my goodness... I know I'll be freaking out as well when my kid's getting that old, but the mention of Calvin and Hobbes makes me all of a sudden not able to wait to get to share such brilliance with my own child.

Happy Birthday, Henry!!! =)
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy
A tip: hold on to all those candles! I gave mine to my cousin (they only burn for a minute, after all) and then had to go buy them again when all I really needed was to put the '1' in front of them when they turned 12, and 13 and so on. And oh yes, that time does go quickly by...

They're still into Star Wars? Mine was too at that age, but he's now seventeen! I loved seven. Happy B-day to Henry!
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPeggasus
Your post reminds me of a friend of mine's kid who's around the same age as Henry. He reads far above his grade level and is really into Calvin and Hobbes. Apparently he made some cavalier remark about death in class and the teacher, very concerned, called in my friend and her husband for a serious discussion. They ask what he said, teacher repeats it and they both start laughing hysterically - it was a line from Calvin and Hobbes. Not sure if the teacher was relieved or more concerned...:)
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLarissa
Happy birthday Henry! Seven has been pretty good for us so far.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercartoongoddess
This made me smile and broke my heart all at the same time.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwice Five Miles
Love that he calls for you by your full name. Happy birthday, Henry!
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Ann
I'm with you. My daughter turns 7 (aack, I said it!) in March--but we had the first of her friends' bday parties at the beginning of September, and I nearly lost it. Wait! She can't have friends turning 7!

I think maybe I'll introduce Calvin & Hobbes. We'll see...
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErika
Haha it's so adorable how kids just want to be older and older and older and then somewhere around 25 we're all like...ok birthday it'd be cool if you didn't come back for a few years...

Happy birthday to Henry!
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth in SF
But, but, but, like, YESTERDAY I was reading your post about him turning 5!

Of course, I also freaked out when I turned 23 on Monday, because you know, inside I am 7.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaitorade
"Alice Bradley!"

That just made my day.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSamilja Proper Heim
Happy Birthday, sweet boy. I hear 7 is the new 6.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Becky
Seven.

Wow.

Happy Birthday, Henry!
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwhoorl
I LOVE Calvin & Hobbes. I own the entire collection. It's so great that he's into them. =D

Happy Birthday, Henry!
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnais
You mean they eventually stop holding your hand?

Argh.

Happy Birthday Henry.
October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin@TheLocalsLoveIt

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