Conversation during snack time.

Sofia: Henry, guess what? We're all animals! Who talk!

Henry: What?

Sofia: And Henry! Did you know? Before we were people, we were apes!

Henry: What?

Sofia: And you know what? Before we were apes, we were fish!

Henry: WHAT?

Sofia: Before we were fish, we were…hmm.

Me: Goo. We were primordial goo.

Henry: We were goo!?

Henry and Sofia throw themselves to the ground laughing for a minute or two.

Henry: Do we remember being apes?

Me: No, that was a long, long time ago. Before even I was born.

Sofia: How does fish turn into apes?

Henry: Did God make the goo or the fish? Or what?

Me: Let's have more cookies!

One of many getting-up-at-midnight-to-pee conversations

Henry (handing Minty Bear to Scott as he staggers to the toilet): Here, Mom. Ha. I called you Mom.

Scott: I'm your dad, in fact.

Henry: You're fat. Heh.

Scott: Uh, thanks?

Henry: I said you're fat.

Scott: Yes, I heard you.

Henry: No, you said you're fat.

Scott: What?

Me (because I can't not butt in): He thought you said "I'm fat" when you said "in fact."

Henry: Heh. You're not fat.

Scott: Well, you know, I do have a little meat on my bones.

Henry: Oh, everyone has meat on their bones.

Scott: Without meat we'd be just bones.

Henry: We'd be bones all wriggling around. We need meat to stick together.

Scott: That's right. Meat is scotch tape for people.

(New Wonderland post up today. This one is about stem cells. You will like it! At least, I think.)

Things are really heating up, over here.

"We have to hurry, my husband will be home any minute."

"You're hilarious."

"I'm just trying to spice things up. Isn't that what married couples are supposed to do?"

"Oh, geez."

"Why, it's the PSE&G guy! Are you here to read the gas meter?"

"(Sigh.) Yes, uh, you sure did use a lot of energy this month."

"Well, I do like things hot. But I can't pay my bill! Whatever will I do?"

"I could, heh, put you on an extended payment plan."

"Ooh, I like that idea. Ooh. How far can it extend?"

"And you know, you can get a rebate on our Energy Saver hot-water heater."

"Oh, yeah, baby."

"Save you a bundle."

"Okay, I'm done."

Just another ethical debate during dinner.

Henry: What are you eating?

Me: A chicken leg.

Henry: You're eating the leg of a chicken.

Me: That's right.

Henry: Meat is animals.

Me: ….yeah.

Henry: Someone cut the leg off a chicken and now you're eating it.

Me: Yeeaaah. Hey, Henry, maybe you don't eat meat because you're a vegetarian.

Henry: What's a vegetablerian?

Me: Someone who doesn't eat meat. Maybe you don't eat meat because you don't like the idea of killing animals.

Henry: I don't like meat.

Me: Right. Because you don't want animals to die, maybe.

Henry: No, I don't mind. I don't mind at all if chickens die. I just don't like them.

Me: So it's not for moral reasons.

Henry: I don't like morals, either.