The L Word
July 26, 2011No, not lesbians. These L-words are currently camping out in Henry's hair. I WISH there were lesbians in Henry's hair. That would be so much more fun! I bet they'd keep the place really tidy, too.
I'm sure you've figured out by now that I'm talking about lice. You're smart that way.
Henry returned from sleepaway camp happy, worn out, filthy, and itchy. He mentioned that he had asked a counselor about his itchy head, and the counselor had looked at his head and saw the myriad bug bites and naturally assumed that the bites were troubling him. (Kid is festooned with bites. He is more bite than child. Their cabins were outdoors, and obviously he never used the bug repellent we packed for him. Also? It took him a week to find his shirts. His SHIRTS. He wore the same shirt for seven days. Fortunately he found the shirt-stash we had cleverly hidden in his footlocker before the Big Dance. I am glad he did not attend the Big Dance in the same filthy shirt he had been wearing all week. Actually I bet no one would have noticed, because kids are kinda dumb that way. Sorry, kids.) So the lice went unnoticed. Until he got home.
He was complaining and scritch-scratching like mad at his head, so I took a look, as parents will do when their kids are clawing at their scalps. I fervently hope that you guys never have to see the horrors that I saw there. I will be forever haunted by that sight. I'm going to go ahead and guess that he picked up the lice on his very first day there. They had clearly reproduced, and colonized, and erected statues, and then fought a few wars, and buried their dead, and then their children's children's children were told tales of the wondrous planet on which they were so lucky to live, where none of their ancestors had ever suffered from the mysterious Lotions and Combs that had, the stories claimed, felled so many of their kind in centuries hence. Because his scalp was moving. MOVING.
I may never sleep again.
We have coated his scalp in many salves and chemicals, we have been combing and picking nits off of him every single day and will continue to do so until we are satisfied it's all gone/he's in college; we washed and re-washed everything he brought home from camp in the hottest water that wouldn't actually disintegrated the fibers; we've vacuumed and sealed things in plastic and prayed to all of our gods. We even invented some! You can't have enough gods if you want to defeat lice.
I wanted to call one of the famed Lice Ladies of Brooklyn, but Scott thinks that's unnecessary. HAHAHAHAAA he has no idea. Well, he'll learn. Oh, he'll learn.(Or maybe he's right. Maybe.) (We all know I'm right, right? Of course.)
I spent an hour yesterday combing through my own conditioner-coated hair, and although I found nothing, I have to tell you, my scalp is itching like crazy. This is probably not surprising. I should add that my scalp has pretty much been itching ever since lice was rampant in his kindergarten class, two years ago. So it COULD be psychosomatic. Either that or the lice are extremely tricky. And I have been their unwitting host for lo these many years.
No need to give me any advice, as I have read/followed every bit of advice I could find on the Internet and beyond. I just wanted you to share in my horror. There. Now you have it, too. (The horror! Not the lice. I HOPE.)
Reader Comments (75)
NOW MY HEAD ITCHES TOO!! Those lice are diabolical!!
I am scratching my head in sympathy! I hope I haven't caught lice from your blog now.
Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. At least he didn't pick it up locally. One of my girlfriends swears by the lice ladies of Brooklyn, but she only knows because she had to go multiple times because her daughter kept getting reinfected at her school.
Gross.
This makes me itch reading it. I used to be a hairdresser and every once in awhile someone would bring their kids in and I would be like, "seriouly? How did you not notice this?" Hang in there. They will go away soon. Just be sure and put all his stuffed animals & blankets in some plastic bags for a few weeks!
Gahhhh. Lice are really horrible creatures. I had lice twice when I was 8 years old. I have A LOT of hair. And there were LOTS of lice. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. It took 1 mother, 1 grandmother, 1 aunt and 1 cousin picking through my hair for days and days before we got rid of them. In the process, my mother and cousin also got lice. So it came back around to me again. Thinking back on it, if I had been in my mother's shoes I would've just shaved my freaking head. She is a better person than I am.
A hairdresser once told me that an easy way to get head lice was to rest your head on the back of a seat in a movie theatre. I can't ever fully relax while watching a movie because of this.
Louise: we were actually coming home from watching "Harry Potter" when Henry started complaining about his head.
I am so sorry, subsequent moviegoers.
ACK! So gross. I used to work at a children's shelter and that was a regular night of work... picking nits and shampooing. Makes my skin crawl!
I see your lice and I raise you fleas. FLEAS! My parents' cat brought them home this weekend (I like how that makes it sound like my parents' cat was out gallivanting in a seedy bar, or maybe playing Capture the Flag at kitty summer camp) and I was PICKING THEM OFF MYSELF all weekend. I think we bought all the flea products in the general San Diego area, plus washed everything in the house at least seven times. At one point, I just THREW ALL MY CLOTHES IN THE SWIMMING POOL. "If the chlorine doesn't get them, nothing will!" I thought. Then I threw myself into the swimming pool after them. It helped a little, not least to wash the toothpaste off myself (I'd applied it to pretty much all of my limbs, after reading an old wives' tale that it worked. Hey, I was desperate.)
So yes, I feel your pain: your itchy, creeped out, is-this-a-bug-oh-no-just-a-grain-of-black-pepper pain.
Sweet Jesus. I am so sorry. Lice is one of my greatest fears. A pink eye battle we waged with all three of our kids that lasted over 6 weeks took years off of my life.
Aargh. My scalp is itiching like crazy now. Good luck!
Oh, we had not-lesbians in the kid's hair this winter. I never, I repeat NEVER, leave a link of something I wrote in a comment, but as always, I serve as a cautionary tale.
http://qcreport.blogspot.com/2011/02/home-for-fleas-hive-for-buzzing-bees.html
Oh, I feel your pain! My younger daughter caught lice at school 18 months ago and we WENT THROUGH HELL. There are apparently shitloads of parents who don't give a crap and leave their kids treatment-free. I spent about € 300 on products over the course of the NEXT 8 MONTHS, did more laundry than I have ever done in my life and had many, many bug-related nightmares. And yes, it took 8 months (and the long summer holidays, in fact) to get rid of them. I'd get both girls (and myself) lice-free, we'd be fine for about 10 days and then it would start again. I wanted to STRANGLE the parents responsible. You have all my sympathies, you really do! (Just be grateful you don't have two little girls with long, fine, easily tangled hair to deal with!)
No need to panic. We've had lice eight times in the last 8 years. Fun!
Just comb through thoroughly every day for four days, and then again every three days for a week, and then again in a week. Use a metal long-toothed lice comb, and wipe on a white towel or paper towel after each pass. Comb until you don't get anything. You don't need the chemicals or the lice shampoos. Just use regular old cheap-ass conditioner, like Suave to help the comb go through the hair without pulling.
They take a week from hatching to laying eggs, and they take a week from laying to hatching. Remove all the eggs and you're good until they can lay. Remove the bugs before they can lay, and you break the cycle.
They can only live a max of about 24 hours off the head, so no need to bag up all your toys and vacuum and spray and wash. Just change the pillowcases every night and wash in between use. Same with towels and clothes. And they don't live on pets, so no need to subject them to any chemicals or banishment. Really, there's no need to panic.
(I know you asked for no advice, but I wanted to put this out there to combat all the misinformation about lice that's rampant. My kid's school has procedures that say you have to bag up all their toys for two weeks in an airtight bag, which is just ridiculous. After a day, they're all dead. And even after about 12 hours off the head, they're too weak to move enough to get back on you.)
I had lice when I was 12. It was awful. Not just because I had/have a LOT of hair, but also because lice are very effective social-awkwardness enhancers.
Puberty + Lice = Awesomeness!!
My mother swears I got them from a hat I tried on in Macy's. Even now, nearly 30 years later, she still gives me the stink eye if I so much as look at a hat in a department store.
I am so sorry for your son - and you!
Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been there, casually chopping vegetables in the kitchen whilst my boy is furiously scratching his head. Me: Are you ok sweets? G: Fine (scritch-scratch). Me: Really? (walks over to check back of head). Holy F*&%! Get in here! Help! Help me! Oh my god! G: (crying--hard).
This was followed by a week of lockdown. Fortunately, we are both teachers and are off all summer. You are NOT crazy about the special Brooklyn lice ladies. Go overboard. Bag, spray, heat, wash, disinfect and pick, pick, pick. Oh, and cut off as much of his glorious hair that you can bear, because picking, frankly, sucks. Tea Tree Oil? My best friend in between commercial pesticide shampoo applications. As an elementary school teacher, I know from lice. You do NOT want to be the mom of the kid who showed up with lice in September and effed it all up.
And now that I've re-read the above, I apologize in advance for the tone of insanity, but I am traumatized. Comic releif? Get the book Scritch Scratch, a picture book about getting lice, in which children are NOT taught hygiene lessons. Oh no. Rather, they are taught that one day, their teacher will get lice. And who will rid her of them? You guessed it--the principal! And then they will fall in love and get married. The end. No word of a lie.
You ARE right about the Lice Ladies. You ARE. I am an EDUCATOR and I know these things.
Also, my scalp has been itchy since my own case of lice in 6th Grade. It's been several long decades.
Today, one of my co-workers was informed that her daughter's friends, who were at her house visiting last night, both have lice [not lesbians]. So my friend's at home now cleaning up, and I am glad to have this humorous anecdotal scribble to send to her inbox so as to boost her jocular quotient.
Well, our house always has lesbians and last year, it had lice too, so we had both L words at once! THE HUMANITY!
At the time, our son's hair was longish and curly and after picking nits out for about an hour and weeping, I simply got the clippers. Bye bye, curls.
Those little buggers ARE traumatizing! I still have nightmares. On the flips side, the house has never smelled so April fresh from the huge amounts of laundry I did! That's probably stretching optimism, but ya gotta hold on to something!
Also, Brooklyn has lice ladies?
My sympathies! We had to deal with lice this summer. All four members of the family had it. Ugh! Discovered right after my son's 7th birthday party. Let me tell you, those were some fun phone calls: "Thanks for the nice gift, and, er, you might want to check your kid's head..."
They had a great episode of Dirty Jobs about a salon in SF that takes care of lice. I hope you succeed in your fight. (but I read your post to my husband and he thinks you should shave Henry's hair off! I think he's being extreme.)
Aww...poor Henry! And his poor parents! We have never gotten it. I am knocking on wood like a maniac over here as junior is at camp right now!
Too funny about his shirt. My kid is there with his dad and I still don't hold out much hope for his hygiene.
Now my scalp is itching and I'm no where near you! May the Gods bless you and your home send a soothing balm to cover and kill the plague upon your home. So say we all. And thank you to the Force ( that's how we end Grace at our place).
Ok, I know you said no advice was needed, but when I was kid my sisters and I had a lice INFESTATION that we just could not kick. We used combs, shampoos, nasty chemicals... the works. The thing that finally kicked the little suckers out for good? MAYO. That's right. We slathered our heads in mayonaisse, suffocated the little buggers, and had greasy but LICE FREE hair. Good luck. Lice are such a pain.
Did they not check the kids before letting them into camp? I have many memories of the "lice check" at the very beginning of sleep away camp every year.
If you are having trouble getting rid of them I seriously recommend shaving his head. I know it sounds extreme but I had one student a few years ago who missed a month of school because her parents couldn't seem to get rid of them no matter how hard they tried (every couple of days she would come in to be checked and they were always still there). They finally did cut off almost a foot of hair and then they were finally able to get a handle on it.
We found lice in my son's hair 2 1/2 years ago on Christmas, minutes before his cousin and her waist-length hair arrived for a visit. Took the high road (not) and didn't mention a thing, then sprinted for the pharmacy the minute she left. As we were in England at the time, the pharmacist tried to assure my husband that surely I, the child's mother, would prefer the all-natural non-toxic lotion made of honey and fairies' kisses, rather than the Agent-Orange-style pesticide tar; she could not have been more wrong. What I wanted was dead lice, I was not particularly concerned with the means to that end. We nuked him and then shaved his head, for good measure. Of course then we moved back to NYC, land of bedbugs, at which point I made a bargain with any God who might be listening that I would accept a thousand lice infestations if only I could be spared the bedbugs.