The Obvious Game
Today's the publication date for my friend Rita Arens' young-adult novel, The Obvious Game. It is a good book that you should and will read!
The Obvious Game centers around 15-year-old Diana Keller, who's having a tough time, to say the least. Her mom is battling cancer, and Diana's dealing with quite a body image problem, which nosedives straight into an eating disorder. Plus, you know, she's a teenager, and it doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm in mid-reading, myself, and I'm enthralled. Me, a full-fledged adult! So don't think you have to be one of those teens to enjoy this. (Although I'm sure the teenager in your life will love it, as well.)
Rita worked hard to get her book published. Here she is on overcoming rejection.
At some point, I realized I wanted this book more than I cared how embarrassed I had to be to get it published. I think that’s what gets things done. In my heart of hearts, I know that for every writer who just knew the right people and was so amazingly talented and writing the right thing at just the right moment, there are hundreds of thousands who are just like me, for whom every victory is hard won.
I love how refreshingly open Rita is about the process/psychic ordeal for a first-time novelist. Hooray for perseverance!
Would you like a copy of your own? Rita has graciously offered to give away one copy (with a signed bookplate) to a lucky winner. I require a comment with your most awkward teenage moment (or just *an* awkward moment, if there are too many to choose from) and I shall choose the winner by next Thursday, February 14th.
Alice
WE HAVE A WINNER.
Your anecdotes were all appropriately mortifying (and how!), but this one stood out above the rest. And will give me flashback-nightmares for at least a week.
When I was 14, I had the biggest crush on this football player (with a bowl haircut? what?). So of course, my idiot friends, Bowl Cut, and I thought it'd be super cool to sneak little bottles of booze into the woods outside of a big German fest and get drunk off of god awful cheap liquor. Freshmen are totally smart and consistently make good decisions. Cut to: Bowl Cut wants me to go on a a ride called The Breakdance. You know the one. You're in a pod that's spinning, on an arm that's spinning, while the whole thing SPINS. As we're hurling through the air and the neon lights are wavering back and forth and whizzing up and down, Bowl Cut turns to me and says, "I don't feel so good." I confidently responded, "Me neither, but there's no way I'm going to be sick." Then, my mouth opened. A river of vomit projected out of my face and hit every single other car on The Breakdance. The ride was spinning so violently that there was nothing anyone could do but hope their eyes and mouth were closed at the right time. And guess what? Bowl Cut did NOT want to be my boyfriend after that! I know... I was confused too.
Congratulations, Kate! I'll be contacting you about your copy of Rita's book.
Reader Comments (52)
I remember standing around at my first 7th grade dance, wearing all the wrong things, sweating profusely under both arms. Wallflower, thy name is Sharona.
The cover band kicked into a lively rendition of, "Smokin' in the Boys Room". I silently implored the Universe to have that cute Mark B. ask me to dance...the Universe declined to get involved, as did Mark.
I felt totally outed and exposed and unworthy, even though it was all silent....
When I was a freshman and sophomore I was ridiculously in (unrequited) love with one of my best guy friends, to the point where I wrote intense, passionate short stories about how we'd get together after college, and I would be so successful that I wouldn't even recognize him, but he would have been pining away for me for years, and then I'd realize that it was him and we'd be together forever...you get the picture. Did I change the names? No, that would be a smart decision. I showed the story to one of our mutual friends, who then showed it to him. He pretended that he hadn't seen it, but then he started going out with another of our friends, one who was outside of the "pretty cheerleader" type he'd been working for a while. I got so upset that I went up and asked him what she had that I didn't. He told me in front of our entire group of friends, that I was "too uptight". I promptly dissolved into a puddle of angst, but then had to run the youth group meeting that we were all at.
I swear I'm not whoring for blog traffic when I post this link--I gave up looking for traffic long ago and I now just go for self-amusement. Thing is, my moment works much better as an illustration, and I drew it here (I'm too tech challenged to know how to draw it here. Also, I already drew it once and I'm lazy):
http://postcardsfromoblivion.net/2011/09/lifes-embarassing-moments/
Can I just pick a 'most awkward teen YEAR' instead of moment? No? Well, hmmm. I think this: falling out of my chair in the middle of the cafeteria in 8th grade, right after we moved to a new school in a new state. Chair went flying out behind me, made a huge loud noise, everyone stopped and stared (and most laughed). As did I, as I hid under the table.
Oh, I have a GREAT one. I was always a super-shy kid, to the point of complete social paralysis pretty much my WHOLE life. I mean, if someone spoke to me, I would turn a violent shade of red and find myself unable to speak.
Well, somewhere over the course of the summer before I started high school, I got the bright idea that I would reinvent myself. Come out of my shell. Be brave and make an effort to put myself out there. So, I thought that signing up for theater arts would be the BEST idea. Because super-shy kid + a stage + an audience of your hormone-driven, vicious peers is always such a good idea.
So our first assignment was what our teacher referred to as an ice breaker. We'd pick a song and lip sync it in front of the class. From the theater stage. Under a spotlight. He said it would force us to get comfortable on the stage, and that we should really put our bodies into it -- hand gestures, work the stage, etc.
In my heart of hearts I knew that the "cool" thing to do would be to pick some upbeat song and really just ROCK IT OUT, but at the time, my favorite song in the whole world was "Hero" by Mariah Carey. And so. So. So I picked that song.
I rehearsed in my room, in the bathroom, staring soulfully at the mirror. Somewhere along the way it dawned on me that maybe "Hero" wasn't the best choice, but I pressed on. The lyrics meant so much, you see. They resonated with me and my decision to be more brave and outgoing.
Performance day came and I was SO NERVOUS. My heart was hammering and I was preemptively blushing while I sat in the audience and watched kid after kid head up on stage and nail their songs. My knees were shaking already and I was sure I was going to throw up at any minute. And then the teacher called my name.
I walked up to the stage, quaking all over. I handed the teacher my cassette tape and stood right in the middle of the stage. Spotlight on. It was hot. I was visibly, jerkily shaking and I could feel that scarlet blush creeping down my neck. I tried locking my knees but it just made my legs tremble harder.
Mariah Carey started singing and I wanted to DIE. I stood there, completely stiff, barely mouthing the words. "EMOTE!!!" the teacher shouted. "AMBER! EMOTE! WALK THE STAGE!" And I just stood there, hands dangling limply at my sides, slogging my way through the song.
When the music stopped, everything was dead silent. I slunk back to my seat, careful not to make eye contact with anyone. The teacher, who up until that point had offered notes of encouragement and suggestions for improvement for each performer, stared at me for a long second before he said, "....well....moving on."
Aaaaand that's pretty much it. MORTIFYING, right?!
The summer when I was sixteen, I went on a sort of fitness kick. Ever day, I'd strap on my bike helmet and go for an hour long ride around the neighborhood, never changing out of third gear and aiming for all the steepest hills. Finally, after years of resembling a giant flan, I was tanned and muscular, with legs for days. I felt awesome. For the first time ever, I looked like a proper teenager instead of a pale, shuffling grub.
Then one day, my sister came out as I was about to get on my bike. We were goofing around when suddenly she snatched it away and took off down the street. Laughing, I gave chase. But I was laughing too hard to run. In fact, I was laughing so hard I started to drool.
Just then a car full of people drove past, staring in horror out the window and me, shuffling and drooling down the sidewalk, my bike helmet askew atop my frizzy summer pigtails.
There was that time when I was 16 that I went for a lady town doctor visit before going to Europe for the summer. It was the same lady town doctor that my Mom used. As the doctor was elbow deep into my biz-snatch he remarked, "you are looking more and more like your mother every day"
OH MY GAWD
I sang a solo at church. Afterwards a cute boy I liked said "nice job." He was smiling at me, but I convinced myself in that moment that it was a smirk and that he was making fun of me. So I responded with "well at least I had the GUTS to get up there and do it!" which, I'm sure, completely confused him. Cringe.
My most awkward teenage moment? Twenty some years later, I remember it like it was yesterday. As a sophomore in high school, I was to scheduled to leave the very next morning for a week long band camp trip (as a fellow band-camper mentioned in another post, this is not the awkward part yet). I was also secretly in love with a very popular senior who was gorgeous in a young Mark Ruffalo kind of way. Being the ever-prepared teenager who always planned ahead, I had waited until the night before our trip to get the supplies any 16 year old girl needs for a trip: tampons, overnight superabsorbent maxi mads, Oxi-10 zit cream, Maybelline blemish coverup and deodorant. With supplies in hand, I walk toward the cash register only to find - HORROR! - my secret love is working the one and only checkout! In a panic, I race back to the pharmacy area; CLOSED!. I then go to the make up area (which in the 1980s had its own register); CLOSED! I look at my watch; do I have enought time to get to the Target in the next city? No, everything is about to close. (In the 1980s stores were not open 24/7.) Now I have to really think: which of these things do I REALLY NEED and which can I do without? I need them all. I wait until the last minute; maybe the 60 year old grandma who has been at the register every other time I've been in this store will take over while my secret love takes his break. No. Finally, defeated, I walk to the register and put all my purchases down. In my one last hope of not dying of embarassment, I think that he probably doesn't recognize me; I'm only a sophomore after all. Then, the first -and last - words the love of my life ever said to me: "Are you in band?"
Not sure I can figure out my MOST awkward teenage moment...so many to choose from, right? A particularly painful one was a note that got passed to me after I'd started hanging out with a new group of girls. It said, "Fawn, we like you. We just don't want to hang out with you." Ouch.
LOL at Dresden's story! Oh, that's good stuff right there.
I love all of you awkward people!
I once had an awkward teen moment the year of my junior prom. I either had the day off from school or left early to get ready, I don't quite remember. All I know is that it was unusual for me to be ready for anything early, but I was so excited to be going with Eddie B, boy of my (then) dreams that I made it a point to pad a lot of time into my preparations. For some reason we had not discussed what time he would pick me up, but since our dinner reservation wasn't until 6:30 I figured that if I was ready by 4:00 we'd have time to go to a few houses for pictures, etc. (as was the custom of the times).
At 2:45 I put my hair in hot rollers and applied my clay mask to all of my face except my mustache area, because that's where I applied the bleaching creme. I stepped into the tub to lather up my legs for a good shave when my sister knocked on the bathroom door to say, "Eddie's here!" "Riiiiight. Ohhhh-kaaaay!" I replied, playing along with her stupid joke. I went back to my shave.
Moments later, I heard her in a loud and urgent whisper through the door: "I'm not kidding, he's HERE." Determined to call my sister on her little prank, I stepped out of the tub, wrapped myself in a towel, and walked out of the bathroom and down the hall. There in the living room stood Eddie B. looking so fine in his white tux and lavender ruffle shirt, holding my corsage.
"Uh, I'm not ready yet. ..." was all I could muster.
First time, out of the workplace, alone with this HOT guy. We decided to walk to Penn Station to extend our time together before he left for a Tom Petty concert in PA.
After three rescheduled tickets, we finally were ready to say good-bye.
We reached for one another to hug, but instead I lunged, full on mouth, French kissed him.
Can we say WOW! He was dumbstruck. I was embarrassed.
We were married two years later, to the day!
Oh! I love YA and that sounds superb.
Most awkward... Slipping in the mud in the quad right when the bell rang to go to class and ending up COVERED IN MUD and having to go to class to show my teacher (and all my classmates) my mud-covered body so I wouldn't be counted absent and could go to the office to call my sister who was ditching first period to come bring my clothes but of course she wouldn't and I had to just wrap my sweater around my vintage Levis corduroy hip huggers and take my muddy ass to class.
Okay, that's probably not nearly the *most* awkward but it was definitely awkward. And muddy.
So many to choose from! First one that pops in my head is sitting in English class, leaning back in my chair (a habit I had been reprimanded for many times) when it tipped back and I hit the ground with an awkward grunt and my purse fell off the back of my chair and opened up and a tampon rolled out and into the middle of the room.
Side bar: Why are/were periods and anything associated soooooooo embarrassing?
Oh dear. I think I've blocked many of the worst moments. But my fashion choices of oversize T-shirt and bike shorts in middle school is definitely cringe-tastic!
All my teen moments are worse than awkward so I'll keep them to myself. But congrats to your friend and thanks for posting her inspiring story.
Friday night at the roller rink in high school. Brand new on skates, clutching the rail all the way around the rink's perimeter. MC announces, everybody clear the rink! Everybody skates off like old pros. I am halfway around at the far side of the rink, which seems like a vast ocean. The others cheer and wave me towards them across the floor, come on you can do it! I bravely let go of the rail and skate out to the middle of the rink en route to the other side. And in the middle of the rink, in front of everybody, promptly fall on my butt.
This book looks great! I have so many awkward moments. One of the worst (recurring) memories is of exam-taking in high school. The whole room would be quiet, just the sound of pencils on paper, until my stupid, horrible, endlessly unsatisfied stomach would start growling loud enough for the entire class to turn and stare. And laugh. It happened ALL the time. My noises of starvation always coincided with moments of stress, so I'd have this compound effect of being worried anyway and then being worried about my stomach growling loudly on top of it. This problem also manifested during my grandfather's funeral. Ugh, being young was so hard.
I don't know if this is awkward or flat-out embarrassing, but here goes:
One Sunday I stayed home from church (good already, huh?). My older brother's friend, on whom I had the most delicious crush, came by looking for my brother. My brother was not home at the time, but my brother did come home soon after--to find me making out. With his friend. #Died
I had foot surgery in high school my junior year shortly before the big homecoming dance. I was on pain meds for several days and they, um stopped me up a bit. So the morning of the dance I explain the problem to my mom and she says there is some ExLax in the medicine cabinet. Ok, great! I read the directions, "take one to two squares..." and pull out one of the two foil wrapped bars in the package. I eat it (9 squares, I believe) thinking that one foil-wrapped bar is one square. It kicked in during dinner. Did I mention I was on crutches for the whole night?
Having been voted by the boy campers as the Ugliest Girl at Space Camp in eighth grade, I have more than my fair share of awkward moments.
One low point was the time I fainted in trig class during my junior year of high school. I had finished a test early and was reading "The Bell Jar" (of course) at my desk. I got to the part where the heroine is, um, deflowered and she starts bleeding uncontrollably. Reading about that made me feel woozy, and I am A Fainter, so the next thing I knew, I was waking up after having passed out cold. I had fallen sideways and slammed my head on the floor, but my legs were still sticking up in the air because I was sort of caught in my desk. The teacher was spazzing out and this guy who otherwise would never have given me the time of day had to lift me all the way out of my desk and set me on the floor. After I pass out, I often get sick, so I ended up kneeling over the trash can and praying I would not throw up (mercifully, I didn't). Then my mom came and got me and I went home in utter humiliation.
I want this book simply b/c I love Rita.
As for awkward moments as a teen?
Sweet, sweet Alice; this little white box isn't big enough. xo
I love that so many of us are saying "we have to pick ONE?!" This makes me feel as though I'm in good, geektastic, company! If I had to narrow it (because there cannot possibly be ONE) I could say the day I woke up and realized my alarm never sounded so I rushed through my preparations to go to school. It wasn't until halfway through first period French class when I noticed I had forgotten to put on a bra. And I was (am) NOT someone who can go without! Then there was the very popular girl and boy who sat near me in English that did everything to torment me about my equally nerdy boyfriend. They made me want to crawl under a rock!! Somewhere along the way I started to realize adulthood would be way better. So I decided to become a school counselor and hang out with teenagers and tell them this very thing all the time. It kind of rules:)
Wow, aren't the teenage years chock full of awkwardness? I would never go back.
OK, junior year, this cute sophomore boy and I realize we like each other and "go out" (read: have two or three major make-out sessions behind a tree at school) for about a weekend. Then we realize, in surprisingly mature fashion, that this is just not going to work and part rather amicably. Fast forward to the following Monday when some sappy love song is dedicated from "me" to "him" on our school radio station. I had NOT done this, nor had he. He could never even look me in the eye after that. What a tool.
The best part? His older sister (a year above me) had made a list of girls she thought were good enough for him to go out with. I was not on the list.