Things I worried about while trying out our new* treadmill

-Slipping

-Breaking some part of my body, and no one would hear my screams

-My water bottle slipping out my hands and pouring all over the treadmill, causing:

-Electrocution

-Sudden death syndrome

-Should I be this tired after five minutes?

-Missing an important phone call

-Missing an important visitor

-Emails! There might be urgent emails!

-Ghosts

-Not being able to hear someone breaking in with this iPod in my ears

-Dying of dehydration because I'm too nervous to reach for my water bottle

-I'm really not kidding about the ghosts

-Sleep deprivation. Shouldn't I be napping right now?

(*actually my sister's old treadmill, but new to us. Thanks, Liz! UNLESS I DIE.)

Comments

[Rosie]

oh boy! I'm cracking up here. And I thought I was the only one having a soap opera in my head while doing the daily treadmill.You made my day,Rosie :)

[Procrastamom]

Well, you've got to think of SOMETHING while the minutes tick away so slowly. I have also found that a towel draped over the clock helps speed things up also. Don't peek!

And ghosts are a valid fear whatever you're doing.

[stephanie]

This seals it - no treadmill for me. Too risky.

Thanks, you're the best!

[witchypoo]

You *are* kidding about the ghosts, aren't you?Even if the person was a hitting type person, when they're dead they can't do squat.So neener neener hitting type ghost.Course you can't hit them either.

[Amber]

My girlfriend Karen actually broke her nose while trying to take her sweatshirt off mid-run on her treadmill. Be careful! Those things are death traps.

[KarinGal]

I don't think you still need to exercise after burning that much mental energy on worrying. You're free to go have a croissant. And a scone. And a stick of butter.

[Linda]

Alice, please please look at the Utube video of the treadmill dancers! Just for fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

[Ree]

The soap operas that run through my head are the only things that keep me on the damn treadmill. I need to see how they come out.

Besides, Mr. Hot is the only one who falls off the treadmill. Seriously. more than once. tsk tsk. ;-)

[Karen C.]

I hear you about the emails!

[victoria]

Me too.

[Kristabella]

When I'm at the gym, simply walking on the treadmill, if I reach for my iPod to change the song, I usually stumble.

I feel your pain.

[Mrs. Who]

I can only use the treadmill when my husband is home. I'm always afraid that someone will walk up behind me and put their hand on my shoulder and I will have a stroke and die right there, while I'm trying to get healthy. And that would be bad. And so ironic.

[Mauigirl]

I can so relate. I used to walk on my treadmill in the basement and stare at the asbestos-covered pipes hanging from our basement ceiling and wonder, "Am I breathing asbestos while I'm exercising? Can this be good?"

We finally had all the asbestos removed by real asbestos-removal people. And I haven't been on the treadmill since even though the danger is now gone. Apparently asbestos was just an excuse to stop using it.

[Raych]

One time I tried to scratch my ankle, forgetting that I was running. You can finish that scenario in your mind.

[superblondgirl]

Once, when I was trying out a treadmill in a store, my brother turned it either up or off (I can't remember which) and I fell off. It was embarrassing but also hilarious.

[Shalini]

I like the fact that Sudden Adult Death Syndrome spells out S.A.D.S. :(

[JO]

Well, you struck a nerve....

2 1/2 years ago I slipped on our stairs and broke my ankle approximately 10 seconds after my husband exited through the back door. I have never screamed for someone as loudly as I did for him. Fortunately he realized that the screaming was from our house and not the echo from across the alley. He was my knight in shining armor that day and every day for the months I so needed his help.

[jozet at Halushki]

You know, I often worry about what happens if I'm at home and I trip down the stairs or accidentally trap myself in the aluminum folding ladder - uh - because I'd hate for the baby to be upset or hungry or thirsty until my husband or other kids came home. So I at least put out a bowls of Cheerios around the house for him, and sippies half-filled with water. And a flare gun, just in case.

You should think about doing that when you're exercising.

[Dawn]

Those treadmill ghosts are the worst. They're the real reason why people trip on treadmills.

[Jennifer Chapman]

Hey Alice,

Remember me? I'm a friend of Sarah and Scott's, though I've been gone from Brooklyn for a while and kind of on a Christmas-card only basis with them because, well, good intentions and all that. Not how I intended it, but there it is. Anyway, I occasionally read your blog because I find it amusing -- your humor and take on mothering are just spot on. Today before the onslaught of house guests arrive I was following links on another blog and ended up on the Redbook mothering blog. It's a long story. But right there on the Redbook blog they list Finslippy as one of their favorite blogs. Do you know someone who works for Redbook? If not, it's quite random and funny. Here's the link http://www.redbookmag.com/home/mom-blog/cooking-family?src=rss

Hope you're doing well. We miss it back east but are doing our best to keep moving west across the country.

-- Jennifer (Chapman) (mom to May and Ophelia, now 3)

[All Adither]

I like the sit down exercise bikes. You can READ. While getting your heart rate up.

[not a typo.]

Elephant?

[Leaf, probably...]

Bahaha, Great post!I too have had some interesting experiences on the treadmill, and you've just given me a great idea for my next post: My first ever near death experience... By treadmill.

[Strizz]

OOh I hope you survive the exercise.