Things you wouldn't think you'd have to tell someone, but you do, more than once.

"Open your eyes while you’re running, pal."

"Oh god, never touch anything in a room that smells this bad."

"I really don't enjoy it when you wipe your nose on my face."

"Please don’t eat things you find on your butt."

Add yours below.

Comments

[DD]

Those are also things you would think no one has ever said EXCEPT you.

Spooky.

[capello]

You forgot, "I'm sending you to the thinking chair if you lick my leg One. More. Time."

[Jessica]

How about - "I am not your personal hankie." Feels like I say this every day.

[Meg]

It's good for me to know these things.

[Dave Thomas]

"Don't eat that marble. Again."

[Insensitive Capricorn]

How about:

"Stop making out with the dog, PLEASE."

[Woman with kids]

I frequently use, "Please look forward when you walk." and "Do Not Lick Me." (sneaky licks, fake a person out for a kiss, and then lick them.)

[divinemissk]

"pick up you socks."

"for the love of god just pick up your f**king socks!"

:)

[JustAnotherMom]

"Honey, please don't kiss the dog's butt/tail/hindend. Only kiss him on the face, ok."

Nevermind that my dog eats his own poop.

[DD]

"Did you wipe?"

"Yes, you can pee off the porch."

Wait a minute...are we talking about our kids or husbands?

[Mandy]

"Please don't bite me." (or pull my hair, or claw my face...okay, he's only 20 months old, but you'd think empathy would have kicked in by now.)

Oh, and ditto on the "Don't kiss the dog's butt" comment. Unfortunately, he can usually only get to the dog's butt because the dog has turned to run off when he sees baby approaching.

[foodmomiac]

"You don't hold poop in your HAND!!""Can you not sit on my head?""Stop sitting on your brother, please."

[Tasty]

Just because you're late, doesn't mean I'm ready. (To boss at work for meeting.)

[Annie]

When I worked in child care I found myself saying both"Do not torment your sister"and"Please don't lift your brother up by his head"

[Leigha]

"Do you mind not biting my toe?"

"DON'T GRAB THE POOP OUT OF YOUR DIAPER!"

"Don't put your finger in the kitty's pucker(our word for their butt)."

[Tasty]

Um, sorry, that didn't really go. :-)

[Kim]

"It would be more helpful if you turn the light ON when you enter a room, not OFF.""Running out the front door naked might feel good to YOU, but not so much for the neighbors.""That's a grown-up word. You don't have to share it with your teachers.""Pee-pee goes in the POTTY not on the FLOOR."

[Jocibug]

Stop licking the ice off the floor. Put it on a plate! We lick ice off plates here!

Don't pick Mommy's nose, please.

Don't put the binky in the toilet and then in your mouth!!

[rhoda]

the poop wants to go into the potty.

[Dave Thomas]

Dear Leigha,

Pucker (yeesh) is NOT a valid euphemism for butt. In fact, all euphemisms are full of crap: they only make the grody thing sound even grodier.

My mother used to diagnose diarrhea by calling it a "loose pooey." Which made me forget about my cramping bowels just long enough to puke on my shirt.

[3 to get ready]

And a combination of some of the above: Stop licking the dog!

[Jessie]

"Don't put your shorts on your head while being "underwear boy" and then run around. If you do, you won't be able to see and there is a good chance that you'll hit the wall (again) and we'll have to go back to the hospital for stitches (again)."

[Susan Wagner]

"DON'T TOUCH MY iBOOK."

What? I have my priorities . . .

[carabeth]

"No, we don't eat poop."

[J]

"Did you wash your hands- let me smell?" Overheard on train: "All you kids go to the back of the car and no one licks the seats!""Don't eat the batteries"